Oh, Michael Bay. Damn you.

The Beefcake and I jaunted up to The Arclight Saturday night, braving the bazillions of cars and the Transformers display with the gas-guzzling trucks and all the people lined up to give $200 million to Michael Bay, and we confidently stepped up to the ticket counter and ordered our tickets for The Hurt Locker.

And wouldn't you know it? They were sold out.

So we went over to Amoeba and I bought a copy of the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie then we went home and watched a marathon of Lockup on MSNBC.

Scott the Reader had a good point. This movie made a shitton of money. Imagine how much it would have made if it had gotten good reviews.

So the big question is, why does a movie that even its fans admit isn't particularly good make so much money?

How is it that Terminator Salvation, which had every bit the explosion quantity and robot destruction of Transformers, didn't do nearly so well?

I'll tell you how. Fun. After reading the plot and the reviews of Transformers, I can tell the story makes no sense. But where McG was all serious and sad, Michael Bay just really loves to blow shit up. He may not be the world's greatest story teller, but his love of cgi violence is evident with every shot in his films, and I do respect him for that at least. And when people think of Transformers they think of toys and a cartoon, and that makes them think of fun.

What bothers me is how many people think it's completely okay for an action movie to have a shit plot. I talked to a girl the other day who said she rolled her eyes a bit and shook her head at some of the more ridiculous plot points, but since she went in with low expectations she ended up thinking it was okay.

Ooooh what an endorsement. Let's throw another $250 million at Michael Bay and see just how mediocre we can get.

Just because a film has explosions in it, does not mean the story gets to suck. Imagine if Bay insisted on a solid story, how incredible would he be? He had the clout and the financing to elevate action films to a whole new level. He could be a truly great director, one who finally makes people realize that action films can be art films too. Explosions can have subtext.

But why should he? We're willing to give money to a movie we know isn't very good just because it has explosions. Why should he bother making a great film?

Down with Optimus Prime!

Today Bill Martell posted a suggestion that we all skip Transformers this weekend. I'm with Bill.

One of the beautiful things about the summer movie season thus far is that remakes and sequels haven't done nearly as well as original material. The surprise breakout hit has been Up. The Hangover has killed it for two weekends now. But Terminator 4, despite statements to the contrary from executives, has underperformed domestically. Star Trek did well, but Star Trek did well because somebody actually put some thought into it.

Don't get me wrong. I saw Terminator in the theater. I learned my lesson.

Let's keep the trend of the past few weeks going. Ignore the sequels. GI Joe looks like shit. Final Destination is - shock of shocks - more of the same shit every other Final Destination movie has. And Transformers comes from a man who has made a shitload of money playing to the lowest common denominator.

Not that I don't enjoy a good popcorn movie every now and then. I have a fondness for Armageddon, but it is important to put our money where our mouths are. We the aspiring screenwriters complain a lot about how nobody wants to buy our awesome new screenplay, but why would they? It's so much safer to put money into a known product.

Bill mentioned a new film by Katheryn Bigelow (Point Break) called Hurt Locker, starring Guy Pearce, Ralph Fiennes and Evangeline Lilly, David Morse and a bunch of other people. It's opening in limited release this weekend, and one of those cities is Los Angeles.

I want to support Kathryn Bigelow any way I can because I can count on one hand the number of successful women directors that don't make romantic comedies or feminist dramas. Actually I can pretty much count on one finger. So I love her and I would absolutely love to work with her some day, and that's why I'll take my money to her project this weekend instead of Transformers.

I also saw The Hangover last weekend. I laughed.

So what I'm trying to say is, Bill's right. Let your money talk for you this weekend. If you're going to the movies, see something good.