Documentaries

I watched Maxed Out this morning, a documentary about America's lust for credit. And before the film was even over I was on the phone with my credit card company, asking if they could lower my APR so I could pay off my balance sometime this life. Right after they lowered my rate - all I did was ask - I logged onto another credit card account and paid off my balance in full.

There's something to be said for a documentary that changes your life.

In my third period I've spent the semester talking about diet and exercise as a theme they can write about. I decided it would be better to stay on one subject that the kids need to know about rather than introducing new topics every week. So yesterday and today they watched Supersize Me and next week we start reading Fast Food Nation.

Supersize Me is another documentary that changed my life. I stopped eating fast food the day I saw that film and I've eaten very little fast food since. There was a time when I went to Taco Bell once a week, but now I occasionally visit El Pollo Loco when I forget my lunch and I don't remember the last time I ate at McDonald's.

So I'm hoping that the lessons I learned from Maxed Out stick with me.

That's a hell of a thing, don't you think? The power a film has - just a simple story about the facts and their impact on everyday Americans - to completely change your life. Somebody put up some money and did some research and carried around a camera, and my life changes for the better.

I'm not planning on making a documentary any time soon, but I'm impressed with how much of an impact a simple story can have on my life.

What I've seen lately

I watched The Hulk. It was better than the Ang Lee version, but not by much. It felt like a paint by numbers action film where the plot twists were exactly what and where you thought the plot twists would be. Not terrible, but not particularly original either.

I also watched Mongol. That was really good. What was most interesting about that film is how Turmudgen, the protagonist, spends the first half of the movie running away or in prison. He is constantly attacked and loses. Yet you sense that once he figures it all out he's going to be kind of awesome, and it turns out that all that time spent running is what teaches him how to be a warrior. It breaks so many of the rules we're all taught in those beginner classes but it was miles above most of the movies I've seen lately.

Speaking of other movies I've seen lately, I tried to watch Barton Fink. I kept reading these cinematography and film studies books and they all mentioned Barton Fink like it was a movie I should have seen. And I do like the Coen brothers' work - well, about half of it. I loved O Brother, Where Art Thou? and of course Fargo and Burn After Reading. Some of their other work I never really got into, but I just kept hearing about Barton Fink. And I watched about 45 minutes of it and couldn't watch anymore.

Yeah, I know. I'm not supposed to say stuff like that. The cinematography was lovely and the actors were doing their jobs well, but I just found the whole thing to be so self-indulgent. For me, the vibe was sort of one big inside joke, like in Oceans 12 when the whole troupe thought it was so very clever to have Julia Roberts play herself. Barton Fink felt unrelatable to anyone outside the Hollywood system.

Not that you can never write a movie about making movies. State and Main is a good film because it's about small town politics. Swimming with Sharks is fantastic because it's about an employee snapping under the pressure from his crazy boss. And I guess Barton Fink was supposed to be about a guy... well what exactly is it supposed to be about? All I got is that it's about the Hollywood system. But Barton is already successful when the film starts and he has no trouble breaking into the movies - hell they beg him to come. So it's about a guy who's got a successful career trying to break into another successful career while staying true to himself. Except himself is kind of a pompous ass, just like so many people in Hollywood.

Again, I only watched 45 minutes of it so maybe I'm grossly uninformed. I took the movie out and watched Monster instead.

And whoa. I can see why Charlize Theron won the Oscar for that. Like Sweeney Todd, she a protagonist who starts out as sympathetic and then goes way too far until you know she deserves what's coming to her and all the while you're begging her to stop. That shit is not easy to pull off. And Christina Ricci - what a bitch. I love that the real monster in that film was the one who never lifted a finger to stop the horror from happening.

I also finally watched Rushmore. I love Wes Anderson.

And that is what I watched this week. This weekend I will watch JCVD even if I have to alter time and space. I'll probably just drive to the theater.

Who's that guy?

I'm so glad 24 came back for a night, although now that we have DVRs the TV season is pretty random. We had Sunday's two hour episode and then the real season starts in January. Why? Idunno.

But it's still the most ridiculously fun show there is. It almost takes the sting out of the cancellation of Pushing Daisies. Almost, but not quite.

I'm sad about PD going the way of Firefly. I do think this season has faltered a bit - this last episode in particular felt lost somehow, like the premise of the show has gotten muddled in too much backstory. But sometimes shows need a bit of time to wiggle through the rough patches. But we're an impatient culture and we go straight to divorce these days, so of course we're not willing to keep a show around unless it's bringing home the bacon as consistently as it did last year.

So anyway, back to 24. I wanted to point out this nice little blunder in the season premier. Somewhere around the 33 minute mark when all the kids and Jack and that other guy are running into the woods away from the helicopter, if you pause the screen you can clearly see a camera man dressed in black, standing still as the kids run by him. Hell you don't even have to pause it to see it - he's clear as day in the middle of the damn woods.

Maybe he was some white guy shooting a documentary in a made up African country when the shit hit the fan. But I doubt it.

I know that kind of stuff happens on set but how did that get past editing? Was that the only take they had? Did nobody see that guy standing there? Did they think we wouldn't see him?

I know it doesn't matter in the scheme of things because the show is still awesome as ever and Jack is still a heroic whirlwind of violence, but you don't often see a mistake that obvious on TV these days. That's probably a good thing.

Play me a screenplay

I've been thinking about structure lately.

One day when I was 9, while my parents were searching for a hobby for me to take up, they brought home a nickel Bundy flute from the flea market and handed it to me. I learned to play it.

It seems like every girl was handed a flute at some point in childhood. I hear women all the time saying, "Oh yeah, I played the flute," when what they really mean is "Oh yeah, I picked up a flute and learned to play a scale and then forgot about it."

Not me. I actually learned to play the flute. I got a better instrument eventually, but I never got the B foot or the gold plated mouthpiece like some spoiled brats who think they're so awesome but have stringy hair.

I loved my flute. I liked the low notes best and always tried to get second part so I could play the harmonies. While the other girls were coming to blows about who gets first, I would volunteer for second. A band director once said it's probably because I'm an alto, so that's the range where I am comfortable.

I had a private tutor for a while and she thought I had enormous potential, but my mom stopped paying her because she said I didn't practice enough.

But here's why I didn't practice enough. Practice is boring. All those notes and scales and dippy little runs that you have to do over and over - they are not nearly as much fun as making up your own stuff. I was part of a flute ensemble and the band director who knew nothing about flute and never really taught us anything would hand us these little Mozart quartets to play. I don't care how great people say Mozart is, I loathe the man because of how many stupid little derivative flute quartets he wrote that all sound like an inverted "Eine Kleine Nacht Musik." That's right, I said it. Mozart sucks.

Anyway, I was never a very good reader. I'd go to auditions and contests and rock the prepared piece and play the scales just fine and then I'd go into the sight reading room. For those of you who don't know what sight reading is, it's when you get a piece in front of you that you've never seen before and you have to play it right then and there. I always sounded like I'd never even seen a music note before.

But at all those auditions they never had an improv category, and that's where I would have won. I used to start off during practice playing my flute and then I'd get bored with the piece in front of me and go look out the window while I made stuff up. And my mom would say, "Wow that was really pretty," and I wouldn't tell her I wrote it. The band director would overhear me do it sometimes but he never once mentioned it. And then one day I put it to good use by joining a rock band. Those were the days.

So you may be asking yourself, what the hell does this have to do with structure? Okay here it comes.

A screenwriting mentor of sorts has recently suggested I go back to my zombie script and do a new outline to restructure my script, and a member of my writers group is always asking what outlining method you use or suggesting everybody restructure stuff, usually using the Blake Snyder method because he's obsessed with Blake Snyder.

But I find that very, very difficult.

I outline, for sure. But it's a loose outline and as soon as I start writing I veer off and let the story take me through. I always outline, don't get me wrong. I would NEVER suggest starting a story with an idea and a cup of coffee and an hour of wasted time. But I like to improv.

When I play flute I know the notes and the key and the time and the tone I'm going for, and the rest is just filling in the gaps with what sounds right. I think the same way about writing. I know the basics of the story and of course I know how to write a screenplay like I know how to play a song, but I feel trapped when I feel like I'm interpreting too close to the lines.

But I'm trying to play the song the way it's written.

The noir saga continues with Brick

I'm really enjoying my noir film series. Last week it was Vertigo and the essay question is this: Choose one of the four major characters and analyze their relationship to sin and guilt and how it affects the film as a whole. They're due tomorrow so we'll see how that goes. I told them if the majority of the class fails to turn in the assignment we will not be watching Who Framed Roger Rabbit? after Thanksgiving.

This week, however, I showed Brick. I was blown away by how into this movie they were, I think partly because they were just confused enough to want to know what was happening, but not so confused that they didn't care. Even the kid who never turns anything in and sleeps through everything was watching, except he was also annoying the shit out of everybody by asking what was about to happen every thirty seconds. I think I'll encourage him to go back to sleep.

I know my inundation with noir film is working because when the seductress walked onscreen I said, "If this is a film noir, who is she?" and I heard about five or six voices yell out, "The femme fatale!" That's how you know it's working.

I also taught them the difference between a studio film and an independent, and why everything in the film looks blue and how the empty looking school serves to heighten the isolation of the characters and how the sudden jumps from extreme close-up to extreme wide angle also move toward expressing isolation. I knew that film was good, but I don't think I realized until today how technically interesting Brick is. And now the kids realize it too.

I promised them an essay topic on Brick tomorrow, but as of right now I have no idea what I'm going to ask. I'll figure something out at the last minute. I'd like to ask them to write analyze any aspect of the film the want, because I feel like there is so much there worth examining but they can't handle that kind of vague prompt.

I really wish I could just sit around all day and show cool movies and talk about them and not have to worry about grades and shit.

Pitch Q

I don't really have an appropriate picture today so I figured it was a good time for Golem Cat. Because it amuses me.

Anyway.

If you went to Expo this weekend you may have noticed a booth where people were filming pitches. That was the Pitch Q booth, and I think what they have going is pretty cool so I thought I'd share it.

Now normally I think a lot of the Expo booths are just trying to take your money and offer you crap in return because a foolish amateur screenwriter and his money are soon parted - see Craig Mazin's latest post for more proof of that - but Pitch Qis actually a really good idea for a new writer with a good script.

So if you don't have a good script yet, nevermind. That's why I haven't pitched with them yet. I don't feel like my script is ready. I did, but now I don't so I'm waiting until I finish my next round of work on Not Dead Yet before I pitch it.

Anyway, if you have a good script this is how it works. You film a pitch of your script - if you don't have the equipment to do it yourself, Pitch Q has a place in town - and you upload it onto the website. Producers are able to browse the pitches and find what they're looking for.

So here is why I recommend the site, especially for people out of town who have no access to industry parties: In the eight months this site has existed, six writers who've uploaded pitches have either had their scripts optioned or landed assignment jobs. And when you think about the odds, that's pretty damn impressive.

Mel Scott, who owns Pitch Q, also offers pitch coaching. At first I was skeptical. I don't need no help, dammit. I got personality. But then I sent him my initial idea for a pitch and he gave me some tips and I thought - okay, yeah, he's right.

It doesn't hurt that of the six writers who have gotten jobs or options from posting on Pitch Q, four of them were coached by Mel.

It's pricey to be sure, but if you feel ready to pitch and isolated from opportunity, this is a genuine option. It's not a scam, it does have a success rate, and the good news is even if you don't have any money, you can still go on the site and create a profile and just look at other people's pitches. You can learn a lot about what works and what doesn't work by seeing how other writers do it.

Anyway, check it out. It's a pretty good option - much more effective than plaguing the town with query letters.

My Open scene

Congratulations to Mike! Red Right Hand won one of two awards given out to TV episodes at the Expo. He got a plaque and some money so we made him buy us pizza. Not really. We split the pizza.

Anyway, here is my Open script that didn't win. For those of you who've never been to the Expo or done the Open, it works like this. You go into a big room and some people give you a prompt and you write a scene in 90 minutes. And then the top 10% come back and do it again. And then the top 10, or in the case of this year, 13, come back Sunday to write a third scene. The top three of those get performed by a group of actors on stage. The audience votes and the winner gets the prize.

So here is the prompt I got:

Your PROTAGONIST is someone not well-regarded by the community. In fact, the protagonist's past is dark indeed, although he (or she) has turned over a new leaf. Write a scene in which an ANGRY MOB confronts him at the worst possible time.

And here is what I wrote:

[scrippet]
INT. KITCHEN - DAY

CRAIG, 23, stands in the middle of the kitchen with a piece of brown birthday cake dribbling out of his mouth. He is dressed entirely in Abercrombie and holds a half-consumed beer in one hand while he shoves cake into his cake hole with the other.

Until he sees GENEVIEVE, also 23, as she walks into the kitchen and stops suddenly.

Someone in the other room begins to blast "Highway to Hell" and several off-key voices sing along with enthusiasm.

But Gen ignores them as a seething rage boils up into her face.

Craig stops eating the cake. He spits the last piece out and it falls to the floor.

GEN
Kill.

CRAIG
NrmphrNnd!

GEN
I am going to kill you, you fucking tard nut!

CRAIG
Nrmph!

He quickly swallows whatever cake is left in his mouth as he grabs the closest weapon, the plastic fork he has been using to break off bits of cake. He aims it at Gen.

CRAIG
It was an accident!

Gen looks at the cake, or what's left of it. On top of the smeared brown icing remains only this in yellow letters:

HAP, BIR, DOM

Gen starts moving toward him, her blue eyes looking like tiny little light saber beams.

CRAIG
It was too good! I couldn't stop myself!

Gen continues to advance, paying no heed to the plastic fork. She stops and reaches into a drawer beside her and slides out a long, shiny knife.

GEN
You see this, you big douchenozzle? This is what I was going to use to cut Dominic's cake. Now I will use it to cut off your-

CRAIG
But I've changed! Gen, I'm a new man!

He doesn't let go of the fork.

CRAIG
Remember that time I ate Dom's cake? That was old Craig! New Craig would never do that!

GEN
You're saying you've changed?

CRAIG
Yes.

GEN
From who you were three minutes ago?

CRAIG
That guy was a dick. This guy is all sunshine and rainbows, baby.

She pulls the knife up to his face.

Craig throws the fork at her and backs away as it clatters to the floor. Then he thinks, then tosses the whole beer. It hits her in the neck then plashes her face.

Craig uses the distraction to whip around and flee from the kitchen.

INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY

Craig runs into the party, chocolate icing still on his chin, and slows to a casual stroll.

CRAIG
Hey, guys!

The music is still loud and people casually acknowledge him, There are about 15 early-twenties guests, mostly preoccupied with watching Dominic the body-builder attempt a keg stand on a pony keg.

Gen appears in the room, still holding the knife.

GEN
Get him! HE ate Dom's cake!

CRAIG
But that was the old me! Learn to forgive! Turn the other cheek, right?

But nobody can hear over the noise. Gen marches toward Craig, knife still in hand.

CRAIG
Ahhhhh!

He pushes people out of the way to get to the door. Just as he's almost there the song ends.

GEN
Craig ate Dom's cake!

The entire party turns to face Craig. Dominic coughs up beer.

DOMINIC
Is this true?

CRAIG
Technically, but I said I was sorry and all and I really learned from it and-

DOMINIC
Kill.

The entire party rushes Craig, who screams again and tries to escape.

Gen appears in front of him, still wielding her knife and barring him from the door.

GEN
There is no escape for you, cake eater!

The crowd shouts in agreement.

CROWD
Cake eater! Cake eater!

As the crowd closes in, Gen stands back and pulls a piece of cake out of her pocket. She chews apathetically on it while Craig disappears into the chanting mob.
[/scrippet]

And here was the coverage:

The best part of the scene is the disproportionate outrage and false sincerity of Craig's actions. A little more indication of social standing or backstory could clarify the "not well regarded by the community" aspect. The scene could do more to expand the conflict between Craig and the mob (especially from Dominic, whose genuine pain could get more mileage). Otherwise, it's a fun, lively scene with strong mechanics and good presentation. Keep up the good work.

Another year, another missed second round

I began my morning getting punched in the throat by a 25 lb medicine ball. It did not feel good. You have to be careful when you let Beefcakes teach you weight training lessons because sometimes they don't realize that you cannot catch a 25 lb medicine ball when it's thrown at your neck with full momentum.

Then I went to the Expo.

I did the Open. The prompt was basically this: Your protagonist is someone unloved by society but has changed his ways. Now he is confronted by an angry mob.

So at first when I went in I thought it would be a good idea to try making up some character details and backstory to save time so all I had to do was alter a character I already created. So I planned to use what happened to me with the medicine ball that morning.

When I read the prompt I started to write a story about a former beauty queen who has aged and gotten fat and wants to get back to being beautiful so she takes a weight training class but everybody else in the class resents her and attacks her with medicine balls.

But I got about a page and a half in and realized it was boring as hell.

I have a formula for short films. Not on purpose, mind you, but I've noticed that all my shorts have a common style: an unnecessarily extreme reacting to events, a gun or knife used to threaten, quirkily repetitive dialogue a la Pushing Daisies.

This beauty queen thing was not my style.

So I walked up to Jim Cirile and asked him if I could have a new copy of the prompt. And I just started writing with a vague idea of a story and no outline.

I'll post the pages tomorrow together with my coverage, but for now I'll just share a lesson I learned.

I was about four pages in when I decided this was crap too. It was better crap, but I felt a little confused since I didn't outline. So I figured I had already lost so I rushed the last couple of pages, didn't reread it and threw it in the basket up front.

And when I got it back the score was 89. The cutoff for the top 10% was 91.

So I learned a few lessons from this. First of all, I'm getting better. Last year I got an 86 I think. I also need to learn to maybe not be so damn critical because I write better than I think I do, but also trust my instincts because that first attempt really was bad and if I hadn't started over I would have gotten a much lower score. But maybe if I hadn't determined my suckiness I might have written the ending better, and the ending is what kept me out of the top 10%.

And the truth is, when I picked up my script three hours after I wrote it I reread it and realized it was a lot better than I had originally thought, so clearly I need to cut myself some slack.

I'll post it tomorrow or Monday.

Expo day one lessons

Today is Homecoming so there were cupcakes this morning for all the teachers so we could be like Goooooooo team! and shit, and then there was a pep rally and now my class is watching Vertigo as part of our noir series and I'm coming down from my sugar rush and I was out late last night so now I'm like ugh.

Vertigo is pretty awesome.

Yesterday I made it to the Expo and spent all day hanging out with Bill Martell. Even though I've heard almost all his classes before, I still like listening to Bill talk. I get new ideas from him all the time.

One of the things I was told was weak in my zombie script is that I kill all the zombies the same way. I have this scene where my female lead kills a bunch of zombies in a pharmacy, so while Bill was talking I got an idea to write down all the ways one can kill a zombie in a pharmacy. And immediately I thought of a much more interesting and tension filled scene.

Before my lead grabbed a broom and swung it around, taking out zombies left and right. This time my lead throws bottles and other objects and kicks and stumbles, and the scene is in general a lot more intense.

That's really why I go to the Expo. I sit in a room with my script in the back of my mind, and every time I hear some advice I think about how I can use it in whatever project I'm working on.

That and the networking. I made three new friends yesterday. Hi new friends!

I like giving my business cards to people because they're pretty.

I don't think I'll be at the Expo today. It's the day we take the senior class picture and if I'm not there it all goes to hell, plus I'm very sleepy.

But I'll definitely be there Saturday and Sunday, hopefully rocking the Open, and then cheering on old Sullivan, who's up for an award for his Mad Men spec. And then when he wins I will hit him on the head and steal his award and run. That is, assuming I have the energy.

My ego hurts

I suck.

This is important for me to know. My name is Emily and I suck.

See, I thought I was the shit. I wrote all these crappy scripts and then realized they were crappy and tossed them aside. And then I wrote this one great zombie script that was going to finally open my doors and rescue me from oblivion.

But apparently I was the only person who realized this. The script didn't get past the first round in the Nicholl and I made all kinds of excuses: zombies don't do well in prestigious contests, people just don't get what I'm trying to do, everybody read it as a horror film, blah blah blah. And then it didn't get past the first round at the Expo. Well that was a bigger blow because I was convinced I would at least get to the finals. I mean, this script is like the best thing ever, so how could it not set the world on fire?

Just like a newbie.

And that's when I took a good look at myself. Even accounting for taste, a good script should be able to get to the second round in a contest.

So I emailed someone who's been helping me and said "Why do I suck?"

And he said, "You're filthy. When's the last time you cleaned your bathroom? And Jesus, lady, do you even OWN a vacuum cleaner?"

And then he said, "Oh you mean as a writer."

And then he told me that basically I suck less than I could but more than I should. And then he told me why.

That is not an easy thing to hear but I steeled myself. Because I would rather buckle down and do the work and admit I have a problem so I can fix it than continue living in denial about my supposed awesomeness. I could keep pretending this script is the best thing going and everybody who doesn't see that is an idiot, or I could figure out how to fix it so that it IS the best thing going.

I have a lot of work ahead of me. That's the tough part - knowing that after all this work you still have lots more work to go. I don't want to have lots more work to go. Poop.

So Not Dead Yet is back out and in revision again. I refuse to give up on it. I refuse to suck anymore.

Eh.

Yesterday Beefcake and I went to the zoo. Apparently so did every person in the greater Los Angeles area who possessed a small child. It made us both very tired so I had no energy for a post yesterday.

Anyway, I will be at Expo this weekend but in a limited capacity. For me this was the worst possible week they could have scheduled the thing. We have that earthquake drill tomorrow and then Homecoming is Friday so we're taking the senior class picture for yearbook and Saturday morning I'm doing a whole thing and Saturday night there's another whole thing and I'm somehow going to try to cram in Expo time.

I will be there some on Thursday and I will definitely try the Open. I may not be there Friday at all but I will be back Saturday if I advance in the Open and I will be there Sunday evening to see if a certain someone wins the whole shebang with his TV episode. I unfortunately did not advance because I suck.

I'm pretty sad about that, especially since I submitted not only Not Dead Yet but also my favorite short script, The Corner. I'm doing some real soul searching at this moment, trying to figure out if my perception of my own talent is really that far off.

What if I'm one of those sucky American Idol people who think they can sing but can't? What if I sound like a hyena on crack?

I know, I know, it's just one contest and it's just one script. It's just - this is the first script I've ever written that I feel 100% confident about. What if that confidence is completely misplaced?

I'd better finish my next script so I don't get depressed and eat a whole bundt cake for dinner.

In the meantime, I might see you at the Expo or a might not. I'm gonna bust my ass to do well in the Open though. I need some restored confidence.

Thoughts on the film: Street Smart ( It's not very good)

I tried to write this whole long post about Sunday's King of the Hill and how sad it is that NCLB has made a lot of schools try shady shit to pass the test, but it was a really boring post. I got bored just writing it, so I can only imagine you passing out and drooling on the keyboard and that's just not a good idea. So I'm looking out for you by being less boring.

Instead I'll talk about how much Street Smart sucked.

Street Smart is this movie with Christopher Reeve that was made in 1987. I don't know how it ended because I fell asleep. Beefcake kept making me wake up to watch something else that sucked so I'd raise my head up and look and go Uh huh and put my head back down. And then when he was done with his oatmeal he turned off the movie and we both went to sleep, so neither of us actually know how the film turned out. It sucked that much.

Because that's my general rule: If you don't care how it ends, it's a piece of balvarine turd. (I may or may not have been playing Fable all day.)

So here's an example of why it sucks. Kathy Baker plays a prostitute and there's this scene where she's having sex with Christopher Reeve and it starts with her telling him a story about some time she seduced this Russian guy. As she tells the story she acts it out until the end when she's on top of him and they're literally rolling on the bed together.

Now here's what's wrong. This is the moment these two characters have supposedly been building up to, and now finally after some forced sexual tension they do it. It=sex. But while she's talking and climbing on him the camera is in a wide shot with no close-ups and for some reason "Natural Woman" starts playing so loud that you can't hear her Russian John story. And then every couple of seconds it fades out and you hear a sentence and then it comes back again. It's like the editor hated the dialogue so she covered it with music. And there was no chemistry so the director covered it up with a wide angle.

Why did we watch this horrible movie in the first place, you ask? Well, it's what my mom and I coined a "back of the box" movie. My stepdad used to go to Blockbuster and pick up some random movie and read the back of the box and then rent it and it would be awful. So Mom and I used to ask him when he brought home a movie if is was a back of the box movie. So Street Smart was a back of the box movie. And it was awful.

See one, do one, sit around and do nothing

Thursday I was on the field trip for the Maltese Falcon thing so I had a sub. The sub was okay, laid back like I like because when the sub is too strict he yells at my kids and it puts me in a bind when I get back. So this sub was okay. I saw him in the morning and gave him some last minute instructions, none of which he remembered because if it wasn't written on the sheet he didn't say it.

Now normally I like subs to just follow my instructions and not go too wild with their own ideas unless they're an expert on the subject at hand. I had a shop teacher once sub for me and he decided to explain the meaning behind a Shakespeare sonnet. He decided "My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun" is a poem about a woman Shakespeare was having an affair with. One day a sub gave them the assignment, told them to do it if they felt like it, then turned on the NCAA tournament and broke my stool.

But this was a different situation. This guy's in film school. I talked to Sub Thursday morning and told him they were watching Chinatown and he needed to finish it with them. And I asked him how well he knew Chinatown and he said "Oh yeah I'm in film school. A lot of my friends rave about that movie."

So yesterday I got to class and asked all the kids what they thought of the movie and I got blank stares. I'm sure he showed the movie, I'm not so sure he did anything else. I get the impression that they were paying very little attention and he didn't explain anything. Then they were supposed to answer a heaping pile of questions about the film and film technique and most of them were confused.

So let me ask you this. If you had the chance to teach Chinatown and help a bunch of students answer film analysis questions, how would you react? Here's an opportunity to share what you're learning in school, ideally your greatest passion, with a group of well-behaved teenagers.

Instead, most of my kids didn't even understand what happened at the end, much less discuss the significance of it. I get the impression he just sat at the computer and played sudoku or something.

So I ended up showing the ending again and discussing it myself. Not a problem for me, but still kind of disappointing that he didn't offer them another perspective. I think maybe this guy shouldn't be in film school.

The Big Read is the Big Awesome

Today was the awesomest field trip ever, even better than that trip to Glendale last year where we had free burgers.

Today kicked off The Big Read, a program sponsored by Mayor Villaraigosa and the National Endowment for the Arts designed to encourage reading around Los Angeles. Five different high schools, and maybe more, all agreed to use The Maltese Falcon in our American Literature classes.

So today another teacher and I took 26 hand-picked kids from our school to Barnsdall Park where the city had a classic car demonstration, a real live falcon, a jazz band and a staged performance of the play version performed by a troupe from Long Beach. They fed us veggie burgers or chicken thingees. I ate the veggie burger because I'm trying not to be fat. It was okay.

In case you've never noticed, teachers will do just about anything for free food. You think cops love donuts? Pwah.

James Avery was there in a wheel chair since he just had foot surgery. Here is Carlton's Dad preparing to eat his lunch like three feet from me.


Austen Perros was there, and I'd never heard of him before but judging by the ear-splitting screams emanating from the teenage girls beside me he's very popular with the teenage girl set. There were some other cool people there - Hammett's granddaughter and great granddaughter were there. They taught me that Dashiell Hammett's first name is pronounced "Duh-SHEEL". So that was news.

We got T-Shirts and gift bags - and you know how gift bags usually have a book mark and like three brochures in it? Not this time. We got all kinds of cool stuff - a graphic novel and some mints and a fizzy soda-like-but-not-actually-soda-drink, and a pencil. Oh, and a magnet with the superintendent's name on it, I guess so I can remember who he is every time I go into my fridge for barbecue sauce.

The mayor was there with his cloud of camera people:


And he stayed to give us all a nice speech about the importance of reading. According to the event organizer he NEVER stays that long in one place. He was really enthusiastic. Since I was also taking pictures for the yearbook I had a camera on me, as you can see, but I only thought of recording his speech for YouTube halfway through so I didn't do it.

We watched the play, which starred some very talented actors and one trumpet player who actually read from the script and appeared never to have even read the script before so he covered his unprofessionalism by breaking the fourth wall every three seconds. The poor lead actor was doing his best to work through it.

Anyway, when all was said and done it was a great success. The kids are jazzed up about the book now and they're all supposed to go back to their classes and teach the rest of the kids what they learned.

One of our kids won a copy of the film in a raffle. It's like a $25 DVD set. She clearly didn't want it, so I leaned over and said, "You can sell that."

And she goes, "Really? To who?"

And I said, "Me."

And she said, "Five dollars."

And I didn't have any cash so when we got back to school I ran up to Best Friend and demanded five dollars and bought the movie. And then our donated camera came in for yearbook. And then, since I had a sub in my class, I went home early.

It was a good day.

Every Girl in LA is blonde

Obviously today was the best day ever. Except for that one proposition, but other than that - I drank all my Kool Aid for today.

Anyway, I was just watching the most recent episode of The Sarah Connor Chronicles and something really bugged the shit out of me.

Sarah Connor is a brunette with wavy hair. Cameron is a tiny little brunette with long straight hair. The evil head of Skynet is a stylish redhead. All of these women have memorable faces.

But every time they need another secondary female character they make her a long-haired blond. John's friend is a medium-build long-haired blond girl. That chick Cameron almost killed is a medium-build long-haired blond girl. And if their neighbor weren't pregnant she'd be a medium-build long-haired blond girl. And they all have relatively the same complexion and pretty similar facial structure.

Why does this matter, you may ask? Because as I was watching the show I got super confused. There's a scene where Blond Girl A is talking to the bad guy in the grocery store and two aisles over Blond Girl B is walking around with John Connor. But even before that I thought Blond Girl A was Blond Girl B and that Blond Girl B was betraying John Connor by talking to the bad guy.

Maybe it's just me, I dunno. Maybe I'm just not paying enough attention.

But I'm just wondering if casting people noticed that. Or if maybe hair and makeup people can do something a little different with the next medium-build long-haired blond girl they hire.

How to make teenagers shut up and watch the damn movie

Chinatown went well. Today was a big testing day so I only actually had 11 kids, but you would have thought I had a Marine unit, they were so goddamn loud. They're really excited about election day. One kid was completely thrilled to learn that he leans Republican, I guess because it makes him a maverick.

But after I finally got them to shut the fuck up so I could start the movie they were mesmerized. I didn't have to shush them at all - just gave them a list of questions to answer and let them watch. I kept nearly breaking my neck to turn around and see the movie so eventually I just admitted I wanted to watch it again and moved to a student desk. That's how I noticed that I do not approve of Mrs. Mulwray's drawn-on eyebrows. She could be a chola with those sharpie-looking things.

One of the things I've noticed about kids and movies is they need to know what to expect. Once I showed a class Seven Years in Tibet. If you've ever seen Seven Years in Tibet you have no doubt noticed that although it is a very meaningful and wondrous film, it is also ungodly boring. So I told the kids "Hey kids," I said. "This is not the most exciting movie you have ever seen. It's very slow paced but it's about the message of ego and beauty and patience and all the typical Buddhist attributes. So you won't see a whole lot of explosions here, but it's a beautiful film and I really like it."

And you know? I didn't have a single complaint. When they know it's not an action film they know how they need to watch it.

My current class has been reading The Maltese Falcon so all I had to do today was tell them Chinatown is a lot like the book we've been reading. "It's not full of explosions and fun battles," I said. "But there is sex and violence and a great big tragedy. Plus it's about Los Angeles. I love this movie. If you want to love it you have to be a little patient and wait for the story to unfold at its own pace."

And it worked.

Chinatown on election day

I'm very excited about Tuesday. Tuesday is the eve of glorious things. I don't usually get all political, but I just want to encourage Californians to vote NO on proposition 4. Many families are open and loving and teach their kids to do the right thing. Some families aren't so healthy, and some girls would be beaten or kicked out of the house if they came home pregnant. Some would not be allowed to get abortions if they wanted them. I know some of these girls. So please vote NO on 4.

I like voting in my neighborhood. The area is all million dollar homes and families and our one apartment building (Which also means I got lots of parking) so I get to go vote at somebody's house. For the primaries it was a garage in some dude's mansion. The old ladies running the voting booths were eating fried chicken. And they gave me extra "I Voted" stickers. So voting in my neighborhood is fun. I'm going to ride my bike.

Also Tuesday I get to start the noir film showcase. I'm starting with Chinatown. It's odd, I had seen Chinatown long before, but I was studying it after I originally read Syd Field's Screenplay. I think I was looking too hard at structure to appreciate the film from a story perspective.

But the other day I watched it again. And this time I just watched it to make sure there wasn't anything I had to worry about or explain for the classroom - for instance, the fact that LA is located in a desert. And as I watched the film again I realized just how beautifully tragic it is.

Sometimes I forget to just watch movies. I'm so busy analyzing, reviewing, picking apart the details to see what works and what doesn't, that I forget to bask in the beauty of a good story. But right there alone in my apartment watching Chinatown I felt so damn sad at the ending in a way I never felt before when I watched it. And sometimes, if I'm careful, I can make the kids feel it too. If you introduce a movie just the right way they'll love it forever.

So I hope we all have a good time watching Chinatown on election day. Kind of fitting, I think.

Save the daisies!

Pushing Daisies is in danger.

According to an article on Yahoo! The studio has not ordered a full season and told Bryan Fuller to make episode 13 a possible finale. It was supposed to be the first half of a two-parter. This is pretty much the same thing that happened last year since the strike cut the season short.

The decision has not yet been made, but Jesus, if there's one show that deserves more episodes it's Daisies. If Daisies goes away and Fringe sticks around I am going to wail on somebody.

So if you like Daisies or if you haven't seen it please give it a shot. The show is so original and beautiful and well worth watching. And it doesn't deserve to get the ax.

And if you want to get caught up, all of season one is now out on DVD. The extras kind of suck, but at least you can watch the episodes over and over all you want.

Who am I?

Here I am, preparty, in costume as Sarah Connor.

Judging from all the people I've shown this picture to so far, I bear a striking resemblance to Lara Croft. Also in this picture my double jointed elbow looks creepy and my pants aren't tied.

Also why is Paul F Tompkins hosting Best Week Ever now? I like him, but I think I liked him a lot more when he was one of many. Now they're just acting like a bad Soup clone. Why did you change, Best Week Ever?

Anyway, Happy Halloween you guys.

Halloween meme

Hugo memed me. And when I get memed I must comply.

List your top 10 selections and reasons for the selections.

10) Halloween
I like all the dramatic irony.

9) Poltergeist
This movies scares the holy fucking hell out of me

8) Fido
Funny zombies

7) Army of Darkness
Bruce Campbell

5) Dawn of the Dead - original
Shopping mall zombies. And bikers.

5) White Zombie
The original zombies who don't eat brains, they just wander around helpless under the control of an evil asshat. This film surprised me in how damn good it was.

4) Dawn of the Dead - the remake
I was so sad when that gun store dude got it, although I could have done without the chain sawing in the bus.

3) 28 Days Later
Fast zombies

2) Nightmare Before Christmas
They call him Sandy Claws.

1) Shaun of the Dead
Awesome zombies


I tag Mr. Peel because Mr. Peel will have interesting answers.

My Halloween costume

I love Halloween. How could you not? You get to dress up and be somebody else for a whole night. It's the only night in the year when you can get away with dressing like a complete whore and not sustain any weird looks. Guys can feel good wearing dresses.

For me, I always try to go as a fictional character I admire. Well, in the past I did. I've been Buffy three times and a Jedi twice. I was Trinity once too.

Two years ago I was trying to be the Heroes cheerleader but I waited too late and at the last minute I couldn't find the right costume so I ended up buying an outfit from Frederick's and going as a Poodle Skirt Girl. It was lame. It also broke my Halloween Costume Rules - make it comfortable, make sure it has pockets, and make sure it's something you'll disassemble and wear again in a practical setting.

Last year I went as a boxer. That was pretty cool. A lot of drunk guys in WeHo tried to fight me. I think I really hit one of them pretty hard by accident. Throughout the night I sort of developed this smiley pose and tapped people who tried to box with me. It went with my rules because it was super comfortable and I had pockets. And I didn't have to buy anything new, although I did use it as an excuse to buy a new sports bra. It's blue.

This year I was supposed to go as a prison guard and Beefcake was to be my prisoner. But he got all rulesy on me about buying an inmate costume that he'd never wear again.

So the other night I was sitting there looking at his muscular ass, trying to figure out what he could be. Gladiator? No, he refuses to wear a skirt. Hulk? He ain't painting his skin green. Conan? I forget why Conan was unacceptable.

Then I said - hey how about the Terminator?

And then I was all OMG! I can be Sarah Connor!

Costume perfection.

So we're going to be T2 tomorrow night. I bought some BDUs at California Surplus Mart, where the clerk told me he thinks they bought Sarah Connor's costume there for the movie. He also said they buy stuff for the Night Rider show there. I can see why. If you're looking for costume stuff for a military film that place has everything.

Anyway, I bought my uber comfortable pants and tomorrow night I will be Sarah Connor. Movie Sarah Connor, not TV Sarah Connor.

I love being a badass fictional woman. There's just something fun about putting on a persona for the night and working it while you consume many beers. I think Sarah's a hard drinker. And if anybody tries to get out of line the Terminator and I can bust out some moves. I learned a new throw a few weeks ago and I'm dying to try it.

What are you for Halloween?

Learning to walk again

Since I started working out at the gym I've been getting more and more nagging injuries. First my foot started hurting so much I was on a cane for two weeks. Then an old wrist injury started acting up all the time. I strained some muscles in my chest so much I couldn't sleep for two days and this week my knees feel arthritic when I walk down stairs.

So today when Trainer made me do squats and I couldn't finish them because my knees hurt too much, he taught me how to walk.

Apparently I've been standing wrong, walking wrong, climbing stairs wrong, sitting wrong. When I walk up stairs I never put my heel down. When I walk down stairs I land on my joints, not my muscles. When I stand I lean and slouch on one foot, and when that foot gets tired I rest my upper body on my wrist.

All my weight is supported completely wrong and always has been, and only when I started getting stronger and more athletic did it start to cause me problems. That, and I got older.

So now when I stand and when I walk up and down stairs I have to concentrate like a little kid learning to move.

And it got me thinking - how often do we learn the wrong way by instinct? How often do we think we know something so well, and it turns out we've been doing it wrong all along?

We tend to be so used to the way we do things that we refuse to change when something's not working and it ends up crippling us.

I think this applies to writing too. I think whatever way we first learn to write - that's how we think we have to write forever.

I can't tell you how many essays I've read that began with a question, or how many stories I've read that began with an unattributed quote. Someone, somewhere taught my students that you should open with a question or a quote so they just keep on using that method until the end of time.

You could say the same thing about the Syd Field method, I think. Some people learn the three-act structure and that's what they stick with until the end of time. Some people start with McKee. Some people adore Blake Snyder. And all of these men are perfectly intelligent men with well developed theories that work for beginners, but I feel sometimes like there are writers who don't know how to move beyond the way they learned in the beginning.

I'm not sure if this applies to me or not, but I haven't changed my process too much so I'm going to think about giving it a shot and see what happens.

That's just sort of one of the things I started thinking about after I got annoyed from having to focus on climbing stairs.

The slow demise of a writer's group

Tonight the writer's group is coming over to my house because I was supposed to have a draft ready for Fear of Clowns.

Actually, I didn't get the script ready. I wrote a first draft but don't feel like it's ready to show anybody. And actually the meeting was supposed to be last week but I didn't know that so on Monday when everybody was all like "So how do we get to your house?" I was all like "Whaaaa?"

So we rescheduled to tonight. Except that only two people can make it. Last month we didn't even have a meeting.

But I got snacks anyway and I read tonight's script because even if the group is slowly disintegrating I'm still glad to have people to bounce ideas off of. I can get plenty of people to read my script and advise me, but having a steady group of people who know you and will listen to your stories when they're still in the idea stage is a very good thing.

Plus this has reminded me to get off my ass and finish my next draft of the script so I can show it somebody.

Right after I clean my apartment.

Enter favorite cuss word here

This is a rant mostly unrelated to screenwriting and totally about my job.

Today is the first day back after eight weeks of vacation. Yay vacation! The kids are terrific and the school has just instituted a new tardy policy that appears to have reduced our truancy problem to a negligible amount. Yay again.

Now for the first time we have a newspaper adviser. She's in what is normally my room. I spent two years finding computers and installing software in that room so that my kids could do yearbook and now it's her room. I am in a room with one computer. One.

I knew this was going to happen so I began to work on the problem last April. I typed up a journalism program curriculum and Newspaper Adviser lady signed it. That's all she did. I submitted it to lots of people and nothing happened. So I came in during vacation one morning and she and I met with the principal where I stressed my need for computers and the principal talked mostly about the newspaper.

As we left the meeting a colleague said we should submit the proposal the following Monday at a committee meeting where the committee is trying to figure out how to spend a bazillion gazillion dollars they evidently have lying around. So I said Yay and then I said oh wait because I was to be in Puerto Rico at that time. So I asked Newspaper Adviser if she would go to the meeting and give them our proposal and explain that we need computers desperately. And she was all "Oh sure! No problem!"

I got into my new classroom Friday where there is still one functioning computer. One.

I went next door to Newspaper Adviser and asked her how it went with the committee and was I getting my computers.

"Oh I could't go," she said. "I have class that night."

And of the computers I obtained and installed software on in her room - the ones I begged borrowed and stole - one of them doesn't work because one of her students stole the mouse. That means she has been letting them use the computers with no supervision.

I don't really know what I'll do in yearbook class today because I have no computers and I don't know how long it will be until we have them. Maybe my students and I can all sit around and stare at each other and discuss what it's like to watch deadlines zoom by.

Eye of the Tiger

If you didn't see last night's episode of Supernatural then you didn't see the post-episode air guitar awesomeness of Jensen Ackles.

This is why I'm kind of in love with this man. The Beefcake understands.




Thanks to Maggie for the headsup.

Eight weeks in the dark

I've mentioned before that this semester I have to teach The Maltese Falcon. I'm kind of excited about this project and since school starts back on Monday I'm putting together my lessons for the next eight weeks. I'm going to immerse the class in noir.

I'm thinking maybe one day a week, or two if necessary, I can show a noir film and have the kids write a paper on it after a discussion while the rest of the week we study the book.

So this week I get to excuse as work related a marathon of noir films and semi-noir films. I think aside from showing films in class I will also assign the kids to watch one noir film on their own from a list I will create.

So once again I solicit opinions from the gallery. Right now I'm watching Hitchcock's Rope, although I'm thinking Vertigo would be more appropriate as a noir film for class. I'll probably put Rope on the list.

For the moment I plan to show A Touch of Evil, Memento, Vertigo, and Chinatown. The district is also taking them to see The Maltese Falcon on the big screen at some point.

I don't want to make them annoyed at the genre by showing them film after film of similar plot lines, so I'm trying to stay away from conventional noir and show a few unusual takes on the genre - hence Memento. I'm also thinking about Blade Runner.

And to make sure I know what I'm talking about I'm researching the genre pretty thoroughly and reading a book on noir called Dark City. So basically I'm using my job to teach myself film studies.

Some of you guys made some terrific suggestions in the past and I loved some of the stuff you had to say about the Maltese Falcon so I'd love more advice here. What films would you show to encourage discussion and interest in noir?

Thoughts on the film: W.

Today I watched W at the Grove. It was inconsistent.

I'm not sure all the actors were in the same movie. James Cromwell played a character - George H. W. Bush - and played it well. Thandie Newton seemed to think she was doing an impersonation of Condoleeza Rice in an SNL sketch.

Sometimes the movie was a comedy, sometimes it was a drama. Sometimes W was a buffoon, sometimes he was just a misunderstood son in over his head. Sometimes this movie was about the war in Iraq, sometimes it was about the campaign. I never knew when it would end because I never knew what the throughline was.

There are parts I loved.

MINOR SPOILERS

When a badly burned American soldier in his hospital bed told the President he wished he could stand up properly in front of his commander in chief and the President offered him a T-Shirt for his sacrifice, I almost cried. When Laura Bush (Elizabeth Banks) planted that creepy smile on her face and never really let it go, I felt so sad for her acceptance of her place as his devoted servant. The juxtaposition of father Bush with the son was brilliant, and you really do get the idea that W stole out of jealousy the path that was set for Jeb.

But then there's all this odd comedy that seems out of place. And there's a speech Colin Powell (Jeffery Wright) makes that seems so unbearably preachy, and is only more annoying because there's this really obvious emotionally swelling music in the background.

And there's a point of view violation. In the entire film George W Bush is in every single scene except two, and those are told from his father's perspective. It jolted me out of the picture, as did all those tonal shifts.

On top of that, the film is told in flashbacks only up through the first half, then suddenly the flashbacks are gone for the last hour. It's like Stone was a bit wishy washy on his intent, which is very unlike him.

So that's why I feel like this film is inconsistent. I like much of it but I was a little confused by the rest. However there's no denying that Josh Brolin does a spot on W.

Oh and it didn't help that there was this dude next to us who kept going Ughmchrghhhhhhh ungghghhghg periodically until he fell asleep and snored and then woke up and made more old man noises. Also he smelled like used boxing gloves.

Thoughts about expo

Expo's coming up again in a couple of weeks. I plan to go, although I'm not sure in what capacity yet. This year for the first time I can actually afford to pay for it but since I've actually enjoyed volunteering the past three years I don't really want to pay. Anybody need an assistant? I got spoiled last year. I liked being an assistant. But if nobody needs me I'll probably just join the volunteer group depending on what the circumstances are this year.

I like Expo. I like how easy it is to start conversations with other writers and how positive the atmosphere generally tends to be, except when you go to the pitch room. There are usually some unhappy faces in there.

Last year I met Red Right Hand there and now he's a good friend. A couple of years ago I met Maggie there and now she's a good friend. Who will I meet this year? If you see me feel free to come up and say hi. I like making new friends.

Some of the seminars are good and it's always interesting to listen to the guest speakers, although you have to do a little research because the majority of seminars are aimed at new writers and have little to offer the rest of us. This year with the guest speakers they're focusing pretty heavily on TV, which is no longer my primary area, but there's a lot you can learn about film from studying television. And of course William Goldman is always there. I love William Goldman. When he talks I feel like a kid at storytime.

Last year for the first time I did the Open. I didn't do so well, but I learned something I plan to take into this year's Open so I can at least advance to the second round. I really liked doing that, even though it hurt my hand because I don't hold a pencil properly.

I teach not too far from where the Expo is taking place this year so I think in a few days I'll list a few good places to eat and stuff in the area.

Introducing Vampire Thingee

One night in Puerto Rico Best Friend and I watched Paris, Je T'aime. I had rented it from Blockbuster once and then never watched it, and one night I got a letter congratulating me on accidentally purchasing it. I'd still never watched it months later so I brought it to watch on the plane. I watched Predator on the way out, but it turned out we had a DVD player in the room.

So anyway, it was awesome and if I hadn't already bought it I probably would have gone out and grabbed it up at Best Buy. If you haven't seen it, it's a series of short films about Paris and love.

One of the shorts, which stars Elijah Wood, is about vampires. Somehow that short and the circumstances of my vacation bled together (Lookit! A pun!) to make me a really cool dream that night.

I had this interesting vampire dream that was so moving I actually woke up crying. I told Best Friend the story of my dream and she said "Aw, that's so sad!"

I knew I had to write it. The dream was a perfect story - perfectly me and perfectly bittersweet. So even though everybody and their mom has a vampire story I'm going to write it. It will go well with my zombie story. Why would I want to be different from everybody and their mom?

The thing is I'm not entirely sure what it's going to be. There's too much of a comedic element to be a serious drama and it's definitely not a horror. It's not an action story either. If anything it's more of a comedy but I don't want to cheapen the story by making it one of those silly monster comedies.

On top of that I'm not sure there's enough story here for a feature, but there's almost too much story for a short. In the end it's probably going to be a dark comedy short (as if I wrote any other kind of short) that will come to about 20 minutes or more.

Yeah there's not much of a market for that in our world.

I don't care. This story was the most adorable and sweet thing I've ever thought up and I have to write it. For me and my subconscious.

For now I'm just calling it "Vampire Thingee" and I'm enjoying myself. And it's giving me a buffer of time between drafts of my current feature project so that when I get back to my gang kid story I'll have abandoned it long enough to get some good perspective.

So now I've gone from zombies to vampires. I'm so versatile.

How I got fat and lazy

I watch a lot of TV. I was gone ten days and in that time my DVR almost filled up. Now granted, I had like eight movies saved on there already - some for a year or longer - that in theory I wanted to see. In reality I usually felt more like watching Independence Day for the twentieth time instead of seeing what all the fuss was about Boys Don't Cry.

Anyway I've got a lot of shows to watch and at the moment the SAT company has run out of essays to grade so I have a crapload of time to sit on my couch, cherrypicking the shows I wanted to watch. For most shows I have two episodes so I can do a mini marathon of each.

Strangely enough I went straight to the reality shows because you don't have to concentrate on those. So I'm all caught up on Project Runway and America's Next Top Model and The Ultimate Fighter.

Isn't that glorious? Being able to say I watch Top Model and Ultimate Fighter and enjoy them both equally? They're both about body obsessed drama queens who drink too much and talk shit about each other. For the record, somebody needs to humiliate Junie in the ring. Junie is a fighter, not a model.

But the reality shows went first because they take very little concentration. Chances are good that if you walk away to figure out what that crash was in the bedroom you'll be able to come back and not have missed anything except a good bitch slap. The shows with actual developed plots take more focus.

I guess I like to save the best for last. Since I generally liked the pilot to Life on Mars but I haven't developed a true love for it yet I watched that next. Then Stargate Atlantis because, quite honestly I don't feel like that show has ever lived up to its potential but I still like it. Then the Law and Orders because they're usually pretty easy to follow. Ice T watched some dude get crushed to death by a garbage truck because he was unable to get the attention of the guy listening to headphones while he was operating the compactor. I kept trying to call Ice T's attention to the gun he was holding that he could have used to shoot the ground next to the trash guy and get his attention so he could save that one dude's life. You probably have no idea what I'm talking about unless you watched it, but I'm still glad to get that off my chest.

So anyway I guess I like to get the unimportant stuff out of the way first. My favorites - Supernatural, Pushing Daisies, Life, Heroes - those I save for night time when I can completely focus on the story. This process has taught me a lot about which shows I love the most. I'm pretty sure Supernatural will go dead last.

Except Man vs Wild and The Shield.

I like to save Man vs Wild episodes to watch while I'm cooking or cleaning or doing something around the house because I can mostly listen to that show and not have to watch it carefully. I've learned a lot about how to cook and eat a big larva.

I haven't watched a single episode of The Shield this season but I've saved them all. When the season ends I will go back and have a marathon. I did the same thing with the last season of The Riches. I think FX shows are just so intense that you need to be in a certain mood to watch them, and once you get started you want to go all the way through. So I don't watch one unless I can watch them all.

But in the meantime, House is up next.

We're kind of in some money

Less than a year ago I ate different forms of spaghetti for four days in a row. One night I was concerned that I hadn't had a vegetable for a while so I found a can of peas and dropped them in the marinara. Then I ran out of marinara and ate my last set of noodles with dried Parmesan and old butter. I might have starved to death if the delightful Maggie had not invited me over for leftover Thanksgiving food, complete with purple mashed potatoes.

Yesterday I started looking at homes for sale in the area.

I have a government job with excellent benefits and a steady paycheck. People say teachers don't get paid enough, and that's mostly true, but when the rest of the country is in a panic it's a damn good time to be in such a secure field. And since the Beefcake is similarly employed we really have nothing at all to worry about. We both have stock but neither of us needs it to survive.

It's weird. A year ago I couldn't afford to buy groceries and today I'm going shoe shopping after a return from a week at a Caribbean resort where I left two pairs of shoes when they died. (A traditional Emily move - bring shoes and pants that are dying so you can throw them out before you leave and make room in your suitcase for presents. I'm an incredibly efficient packer.)

Anyway, now I'm paying off my debts and planning to get Lasik within the year.

Not that I'm rich - hell no. I still have credit card debt and I still won't be buying any golden umbrella stands for my one-bedroom apartment. But I have finally learned to manage my money and live within my means, and now my pay goes up each year more than my living expenses. And I just got a second job grading SAT essays so I'm going to start pulling in a little extra income each month without having to sub. I hate subbing.

In the back of my mind though, I'm thinking about the future. Obviously screenwriting is not so secure a field. If I were a screenwriter now instead of a teacher, would I be losing my mortgage? Would I have to cancel my cable and start to buy Ramen? I really hate Ramen.

And yeah, I'd rather do what I love and be poor than spend the rest of my life at a job I mostly like and be rich - not that I'll ever be rich, but I'll be okay. Still, there's something about being able to pay all your bills that is deeply enticing.

Not that I'm changing my mind or anything. I was just thinking.

Jetlag

Ahh, Los Angeles. I was gone for ten days and now I'm back and I have like eighty thousand hours of television to catch up on so don't anybody tell me what happened on anything.

I was so jetlagged I fell asleep at 7pm and woke up at 4 am. I didn't even shower or anything, and I don't ever go without a shower.

I don't think that before today there had ever been a day in my life where I'd cleaned things before the sun was up. But since I left my window open ten days worth of LA soot had landed on my sheets and I was appalled at the amount of dirty dishes I had left myself to clean.

I only have just over a week left before I have to go back to work. I gotta say, spending a week in paradise is a fine way to get up the energy for a new semester. And this time I get to teach the Maltese Falcon and the accompanying unit on film noir.

In the meantime, here is another video from the Moments Before series.

Back

I'm back in the states and back to the Internet. I just spent the last week falling asleep to the sound of the ocean and waking up to the sunrise over clear blue Atlantic waters beyond the palm trees. I am less pale and my clothes smell like coconut because my bottle of Bacardi smashed in my suitcase. So thanks for that, Us Air. I smell like I bathed in Banana Boat.

But I had lots of fun in San Juan and would love to go back sometime. I even had a dream one night that I plan to turn into a short film script. I'm pretty sure it was inspired by the combination of spending the week at the ocean with my best friend and having watched Paris, Je T'aime the night before. That was a damn fine movie.

I'm in NC for now because flying a detour to visit my parents is a lot cheaper than making a separate trip. And Mom will wash the rum out of my clothes without even asking for quarters.

And I ate at Bojangles. I love LA, but they don't have Bojangles.

Two more weeks and I go back to work. I'm almost ready.