Dear god, could you imagine the poor sap who'd have to look through those pictures?
Anyway, Actor wants to pass one of my scripts to his Manager to see if he's interested in representing me. Manager has a reputation for being a little slow to return calls, but has great contacts and does get his clients work on a regular basis. He's a definite step up from the nonexistent manager I currently have. I'm gonna give him my script for an episode of House, then follow it up with Supernatural if he wants to see more.
So here comes the insecurity. Up to now I've just shown my work to writer friends who've all said it's good and offered a minor suggestion here and there. I passed a feature script to a Reader friend of mine and it got pretty universally panned, but this is different. This is TV and I'm good at TV. I think. And it's not like there won't be other opportunities, it's just that this is a pretty good one.
But then the scientist in my throat pipes up and says, "But what if you're not? What if you really suck and all those people are just being nice to you?"
I think about American Idol.
Think of all those people who are completely convinced they can sing. They come in and they give it their all, completely convinced that they are going to blow the judges away and get a standing ovation from the camera crew just for pumping out a note or two. They all have the same look on their faces when Simon tells them how much they deserve to die for putting him through all that caterwauling.
I'm terrified that I'm one of those people. Obviously there's enough of me that doesn't believe that or I'd never have moved to LA, but I've been here a year now and I've had a few chances to push my scripts and I've chickened out because I was afraid I'd have to face the Simon Cowells of the writing world. As long as nobody reads the script, you can't find out how bad it is, right?
Then I say, screw off, tiny voice.
I'm awesome. I mean, just the other day like a whole 60 people read my blog. They must think I have something to say. Either that or they're checking to see if I've posted naked pictures. Keep checking; they're currently in development hell.
The actors I know all say you have to have confidence. You have to walk in the room and own it and never doubt your ability. That's why they're actors I guess. That's also probably why I like actors so much - they have egos of titanium.
But then I wonder if a little humility isn't a good thing. I knew this guy once - we'll call him "Elton" because that was his name. Elton was in a writer's workshop class with me and the first day we were asked to write down our favorite writer (J.D. Salinger, thank you very much) and Elton put down himself. HIMSELF. And let me tell you people, he was terrible. He refused to take any criticism at all to the point where the prof eventually refused to let us critique any more of his work.
I definitely don't wanna be that dude. He was really fat.
I guess I just have to give this guy my script and deal with the consequences. I could be the Clay Aiken of TV writing, except loved a little less by old ladies. And it's not the end of the world if he doesn't like it. I mean, he's not Simon Cowell or anything.
The House script is good, especially the way you nailed each character's attitudes and behavior. At the end of the day, that's the most important part of that show. Or any show.
ReplyDeleteSelf-doubt is a bitch, but as you said, without it, we'd all be unbearable egomaniacal assholes. Not that you ever see that here in our fair city, of course.
You've got the talent, so I'll just wish you a little luck on the side.
Go big or go home! :-)
ReplyDeleteHere is a quote by Lewis Black that pretty much sums it up. It's a quote about writing a book but it definitely applies to Screenwriting as well:
ReplyDelete"Anybody who likes writing a book is an idiot. Because it's impossible, it's like having a homework assignment every stinking day until it's done. And by the time you get it in, it's done and you're sitting there reading it, and you realize the 12,000 things you didn't do. I mean, writing isn't fun. It's never been fun. It's momentum, and once you get the momentum going, that's great, but it's a brutal experience in many, many ways. And when you're done, people tell you "Well, gee, I'm not interested." "Great, I'm glad I sat down and wrote this!"
My feeling is, if someone says writing is easy they are either lying to you or a REALLY BAD writer. Now, I don't know any of your wrok but based on your insecurity I'd say you must be pretty good!
Chris
you should definitely submit it. if you do suck (and there's a good chance you're not brilliant...yet), then it's better to learn it now so you can keep working at it.
ReplyDeletebtw, very very few are brilliant right off the bat - it's no knock on you if you aren't.
so it's a no-lose situation.
btw, i don't think actors have titanium egos. that doesn't give them enough credit. they're just willing to take the hit and go back for more. that takes guts.
Like Deep says - it's a no lose. Get your work in front of people. And even if you nailed the show and manager likes it, you may not be a fit for his/her roster - but perhaps they will keep you in mind or suggest someone else to try it out on. So much of it is timing and luck.
ReplyDeleteMaybe also send a head shot...?
I should have known writers would be honest. I was worried I was going to get a lot of phony pats on the back, but not you guys. I'm glad to see how honest everybody's been.
ReplyDeleteYou're right, of course. You just have to hold your breath and jump. I've been writing a long time but I haven't had the courage to put myself out there until now. That's what's so scary. Until now I just had potential, but it's about to be tested. It turns out, another actor friend is going to send my work to his manager so now I have two possibilities. Scary.
I work in a job where validation is immediate. You can tell whether a lesson works as soon as it hits the air. I don't like this waiting for phone calls stuff, but there it is.
And thanks for the lengthy thought-provoking post, Greg. Blogger wouldn't let me post to your blog either.
Knock'em dead. It's always better to know, than to not know. And it is just one manager's opinion. I'd look at it like this: if the manager likes it, keep at it. If the manager doesn't like it, keep at it. Either way, you're on your way.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the kind thoughts about my kitty.
Scribe
Sorry, I've been way too busy. But I couldn't let this post pass by without throwing in my two cents...
ReplyDeleteEveryone pretty much beat me to anything I had to say, so:
Ditto.
And good luck.