I have Brattitude.

Whoa, nelly.

Boys and girls, it has been a banner day for Emily.

I'd best tell this chronologically.

FIRST PERIOD

The crew was filming some scene with a Brat and a bunch of mimes. And there was a guy filming the whole thing with a hand cam from the balcony right next to me. So if you see this film - and you know you all want to because you love them Bratz - when you see the surveillance camera footage of the girl with the mimes, know that I was standing right next to the camera when that was shot. That's how I learned that the camera guy went to art school.

There was this one crew guy - you can see the back of his head in that picture - who looked like Joe Flanigan. He was wearing Calvin Klein underwear that you could see when he bent over. It was a nice start to the morning.

I let my kids lean over the balcony and watch. The location manager - who works his ass off people, so much so that I'm shocked to find he has anything left to sit on - came up and I thought he was going to yell at me and instead asked if my kids had any questions. A truly nice dude.

Then a producer came up to talk to me. He asked me a bunch of questions about education and teaching and I asked him a few questions about the production. He did that thing that people always do when they learn I'm a teacher. They ask how long I've been teaching because they really want to know how old I am because I look like an adolescent. I mentioned my short film and that I have no money and he said "It's easier when you have no money than it is when you have a little bit of money." I really wish I'd followed that up with a clarification because I have no idea what that means. Unless it means that he was getting really nervous because what was supposed to be a tiny shot in the film was taking too long. He was another truly nice dude.

SECOND PERIOD
Talked to a security guard. He used to kickbox. His job was to prevent kids from going down the stairs and getting in the way of the shoot. For once I didn't have to troll the stairs for pot smokers.

THIRD PERIOD
Third period lasted the rest of the day because of filming and a play and you don't need to know the details so don't worry about it.

So I went to the library, where I always go to eat lunch with BEST FRIEND. That's where they were filming the promotional stuff. "Hi Wal-Mart! We're the Bratz! Blah blah blah cheerful!" I learned something from that because they managed to stay so professional even though they were repeating the same crap over and over with overly smiley faces. One of the girls mentioned she didn't have a script. I really wanted to volunteer my services because seriously, I had my laptop with MovieMagic and I can fill in any time and I don't care if it's an adolescent girl movie promo I'll write the awesomest promo Wal-Mart has ever seen if it means getting to work for...

Avi Arad.

Yes, Avi Arad was there. Ten yards from me. Watching them film a promo. I know it was Avi Arad because he wore a Spiderman hat, a Spiderman sweatshirt and a Spiderman jacket. And as he walked by I thought, wow. That man could make my career right now if I just said the right thing. And as I contemplated the most inciteful thing to say about Spiderman he walked out the door and I resumed watching the girls talk about the importance of staying in school.

"Stay in school. Read books," Cloe the Brat said.

Then they said something about having "Brattitude".

Then the crew broke down their set and chatted about other shoots they've worked. So I listened because I'm nosey and starved for information. I liken this whole Bratz thing to auditing a film class from the way back of the room. The director of the promos just shot what sounds like a neat documentary.

They asked if they could leave their equipment behind while they went to lunch. I was trying unsuccessfully to figure a way to pick their brains for advice on shooting one's first short film when one knows nothing about cameras and has no money but a funny script and one actor signed on when Best Friend interjected with "She's shooting a short film soon, so if your equipment disappears you know who the culprit is."

That's why she's Best Friend.

CAMERA GUY was intrigued for some reason. I have no idea what I did to deserve such good karma (I have not actually seen The Secret but apparently I no longer need to.)because Camera Guy gave me his contact information and took my card and volunteered to help me put together a crew for my short, even after I explained that I have no money and fumbled around like an idiot trying to give him my information.

Just once, I would like to be as coordinated in real life as I am on paper.

So that's my day so far, and I still have kickboxing to go. There's this guy at the gym I've been exchanging stares with for months now; I think today's the day to do something about it. Clearly the gloomy sky is not impacting my fortune. I don't care what people say; I love The Bratz.