Monday, July 30, 2007
Gimme your money, bitches.
I keep dreaming of heists. Every night I break into a bank or some fancy place filled with money and run with my rotating partner in crime.
Last night I wore nothing but silk underwear and an open trench coat and spikey heels and carried an automatic that I used to threaten some brunette bitch when she tried to stop me from making my escape.
Maybe I was accidentally channeling that chick from The Transporter 2. My dream was a lot cooler than that movie.
The other night my partner in crime was a friend's ancient dog. She was a fantastic decoy. She barked at everybody while I ran for it with big bags of money.
There's a lot of yelling, running and fighting in these dreams. A far cry from that time I went to a party and danced with Willem Dafoe right before I hit Kevin Bacon with my car.
Or that time Ross Gellar called me boring while we were playing chess on that lake of ice.
I wonder what this heist thing is all about. Are the midichlorians trying to tell me to write a heist story? 'Cuz I tried that several months ago with miserable results. It turns out, I don't actually know anything about arranging a heist.
Or maybe I'm not just supposed to write about a heist. Maybe I'm supposed to go commit a heist in my silk panties and trench coat. I just don't know if I can run fast enough in those heels.
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Excellent obscure Friend reference. "That game should not be played without my supervision."
ReplyDeleteYou couldn't possibly hurt yourself by adding another project. What are you up to now—23?
Want to learn about a heist? Google it! The web can be a wacky resource for all kinds of information. There's been two instances recently of burglars stopping in mid-crime to go online and look up "how to crack a safe"...
ReplyDeleteHey, if that doesn't work, it could always be a movie about a woman who tries planning a heist but doesn't know the first thing about how... Could be pretty funny.
That Ross Gellar has gone too far this time!
ReplyDeleteI'm telling you - these paleontologists are out of control.
www.fark.com
ReplyDeleteGlance the headlines at least once a day and you will find articles relating to botch heists.
Great fodder for story ideas.
At least on how NOT to rob a bank.
-Jim
All this reminded me of "The Real McKoy". Dunno, maybe you are as hot as Kim Basinger!
ReplyDelete“Maybe I'm supposed to go commit a heist in my silk panties and trench coat. I just don't know if I can run fast enough in those heels.”
ReplyDeleteI think I need to go and have a lie down now...