You gotta have standards

Having a social life makes me sleepy. I'm not sleeping anymore because I'm doing stuff instead, which seems great at the time but has really started to catch up with me. And I'm hungry. And I'm babysitting another teacher's class with no lesson plan.

Get off my lawn.

I can't believe there are two shows airing this season about people trying to karaoke poorly. For a while there we were forced to deal with shows that played underhanded tricks on people like My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance or Joe Millionaire. It was straight up trivia for a bit, like The Weakest Link or Who Wants to be a Millionaire. Now we reward people for breathing. Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader? Wooo, don't aim so high.

Let's not even try to figure out where The Swan fits in. Did you know that show is out on DVD? Know what's not out on DVD? Kenneth Branagh's Hamlet.

I like shows that reward talent like Project Runway or America's Next Top Model. At least there people can't win without learning and improving and showing some kind of genuine skill.

Deal or No Deal will be the new lead in for Friday Night Lights because NBC's hoping the massive ratings connected to a show about opening suitcases will help out one of the most brilliant shows on television. It makes me want to smack myself in the forehead.

And now we have two shows about whether or not people forget lyrics and say stupid funny things instead. It sounds a lot like what my friends and I used to do as we rode around drunk through the college campus back in the day. I should have videotaped it. Then I could have been a millionaire.

I don't blame the network. They're playing to their audience. The audience would rather watch Howie Mandel open suitcases for an hour than get involved in the family friction in Dillon, Texas.

But I guess it makes sense in a sad way. Realistic stories and drama just don't serve as nightly distractions the way watching real people do dumb things for money or fame does.

I just know I won't be watching The Singing Bee.