Thoughts on the film: Every Which Way But Loose

Last night I couldn't finish Every Which Way But Loose. In fact I think I have encountered a film that sucks more than Spy Kids.

I would give you a spoiler warning, but there's nothing to spoil.

Beefcake brought it over because he enjoys Clint Eastwood. And I must say old Clint was looking pretty damn good in this film. He's a dude who rides around town in his pickup with an orangutan while picking fights with local inept bikers and trying to get in the pants of his real-life girlfriend, Sandra Locke.

And that's pretty much it.

There's this one scene where some bikers make a crack about his orangutan, so he chases them down all over town and even lets the ape drive a street sweeper to its destruction while he tries to run and jump on a train the bikers use to escape. And I think this was the inciting incident because like three hours later he fought with some other bikers in the same gang, but then those bikers and the other bikers all got together to swear vengeance.

And then more random antics ensue. There's a story about his old mom feeling old. There's a story about his brother/friend/cousin/whatever trying to pick up chicks. There's a story about his new girlfriend's ex-boyfriend being a raging asshole which is convenient since the only real mission for Clint seems to be to pick as many fights with assholes as possible.

This film really feels like the writer sat down with a gallon of tequila and some index cards and just started writing random scenes, then shifted them around and wrote what he saw before him.

I kept imagining Clint Eastwood saying "You know as soon as I read this script, I just knew I had to make this film."

And then, somehow, even though this film had no discernible plot, there was a sequel.

I mean I know it was the seventies, but how did they pitch this? "Okay let's make Clint hit a lot of people, and then let's have him drive around some. Oh and you know what's funny? Monkeys. Let's give him a monkey, but like a monkey that he really loves so we'll see that he has a soft side."

And why was there a sequel? Did they decide they had just too damn much story to tell?

Anyway, I have decided that the Beefcake is not allowed to choose movies for a while.