After I saw Freedom Writers at the Grove I got in line for the parking validation thingee and ended up behind a really old foreign man. The parking validation is next to the ladies room, which explains this exchange:
Me: Excuse me, are you in line?
Old Man: I am a man. Do I look like a lady? I am a man.
Me: No, this is for parking.
Old Man: I am a man.
Me: Does that mean you can't park a car?
Went out for karaoke Saturday night and sang "Born To Run" with a Friend of mine. Next time you go to karaoke, sing that. Don't sing "Hurt" like long-haired intense guy who can't actually sing. Karaoke is not a place to bring everybody down. I got hit on by a producer for The Apprentice. He kept telling me about his apartment which is apparently "really close by". Friend keeps telling me to stop being nice to strange men because it makes them think I'm interested enough to care that they live close by. But I'm a Southern girl. I like meeting people. How much ego do you have to assume that every girl who talks to you wants to go home to your crappy little Culver City apartment and take off her clothes? If you produced Friday Night Lights, maybe, but The Apprentice?
That was a joke. Please do not proposition me, Peter Berg. Unless you want to hire me as a staff writer, then we'll see about making arrangements. You were pretty hot in that cabin scene from Alias.
That was a joke too. I'm holding out for Ron Moore.
This could just keep on going, so I'm going to stop now.
I'm starting a section on the civil rights movement with my class, so today's lesson plan was to write down all the racial stereotypes we could think of and discuss why we think that. This is the verdict according to my class: Latinos mow lawns, whites are slutty, black people are loud, and Asians smell like onions.
A writer friend of Partner's read our script and gave us amazing notes, so it's back to work on the spec. The girl who read our script asked two important questions: 1) Why would anyone watch this? and 2) What does your story offer that hasn't been done before?
We had an okay time with the first question. The second was more difficult. Partner and I knocked around ideas like a mental pinball until we activated our Wonder Twin powers and set off the miraculous lightbulb of thought.
That's a hell of a mixed metaphor. I like it. It made a very odd image in my head, like Wonder Twins playing pinball with lightbulbs or something.
But Partner and I came up with a solution to turn the script totally on its head and find direction where we were previously lacking. We were up until 1 a.m. talking about it so now I am remarkably sleepy. Perhaps my peanut butter and jelly sandwich will revive me.
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That's what's missing from my visits to the Grove--not enough confrontations with crabby old people.
ReplyDeleteLiving in Los Feliz, I go to the numerous local bars all the time but I've never used the line about my apartment being really close by. And I can't believe I never thought of it! That does it--this weekend I'm going to go to the Dresden and try it on every girl I see.
Ah, the miraculous lightbulb of thought. Mine is frequently on a flipped breaker. But when it shines, I bask in its glow.
ReplyDeleteIf I mow lawns, am slutty, am loud, and smell like onions, can I claim to be multi-racial? Please say yes.
ReplyDeleteSee, I can easily come up with an answer for writer note question number one. Number two? Um, they're bored and want something to watch?
ReplyDeleteAs for your foreign encounter, that exchange alone deserves it's own storyline on 30 Rock! Do you hear me, Tina Fey?
You'd have to actually sleep with women to qualify as slutty, Stan. You could try telling them all your apartment is really close by.
ReplyDeleteI'd forgotten what it's like to have to get a parking ticket stamped everywhere you go in LA. If the fact that it takes you 45 minutes to drive six blocks isn't enough to make you completely insane -- the necessity of some surly little guy validating your existence at Ralphs will do the trick pretty well.
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