Friday, June 20, 2008

It hurts when people punch you

So first of all, I think Trainer broke my rib last time we sparred. It hurts to breathe and laugh and sleep.

Last Comic Standing was really funny last night but it almost killed me because laughing makes my chest hurt. That Israeli impressionist was flat out the funniest thing I've seen on the show this season.

I'm really worried because Trainer honestly didn't hit me that hard, and since this is the second bone injury I've sustained this year and my grandmother has Osteoporosis - I'm seeing the doctor today so we'll see what happens. My usual doctor always tells me I'll be fine - just use a heating pad - but today I'm going to urgent care so maybe I'll get someone who's reasonably competent.

I have a theory that this combined with my skin issues and my tenuous gumline means I have a vitamin D deficiency. Or maybe I've been watching too much House. I wish I had his number. Instead I asked a nurse who follows around one of my disabled students and she told me to get a back X-Ray. I think she was really happy to be asked because her job is incredibly boring.

Anyway, today because I'm in some degree of pain and the semester's almost over, I brought two movies for my first period to choose from
- Osama and The Princess Bride. Could they be any more different? If you haven't seen Osama you are missing out on something truly beautiful. It's about a girl in Taliban controlled Afghanistan who has to pretend to be a boy to help her mother. It's depressing and in subtitles.

And then of course there's The Princess Bride, happy, funny, actiony love story about a pirate and his princess and a giant and Wallace Shawn. And guess which one they picked?


The class wanted to watch Osama, subtitles and all. And for the most part they were riveted to the screen.

Sometimes kids still surprise me. I'm kind of glad they picked the depressing story because I don't think my chest could have taken any comedy today.

UPDATE: Trainer says it's not broken and I don't have Osteoporosis and to stop being such a fucking whiney baby and take my hits like a man.

UPDATED UPDATE: Doctor says it's strained. And in retrospect I don't think it's Trainer's fault at all. I think it's Bicycle's fault from when I rode it up to Larchmont yesterday and bought a cupcake and some tinfoil.


  1. So many people seem to be falling apart. There's something in the air, I'm telling you.

    Myself, I'm having trouble sleeping and mainting any sort of focus. I'm just having trouble thinking and functioning.

    I'm thinking airborne toxin.

  2. Maybe mother nature is angry at Mark Walberg.

  3. Chem Trails! The government is spraying the atmosphere with chemicals. Go outside and look at all the straight lines of "clouds" criss-crossing the sky.

    Sorry, the "Conspiracy Theorist" in me escapes once in awhile.


  4. The rib is probably just bruised, which hurts almost as much as a broken one . . . I've had both, and I don't remember a real difference in pain, except that the broken one took a lot longer to heal.

  5. Anonymous7:34 PM

    Nursing is never boring, but screenwriting could be. ;)

  6. I'm angry at Mark Wahlberg, too. but why does mother nature have to take it out on all of us?

  7. Anonymous11:28 PM

    Chem Trails! The government is spraying the atmosphere with chemicals. Go outside and look at all the straight lines of "clouds" criss-crossing the sky.

    I live in Saugus in the Santa Clarita Valley and see it in action often. I wonder how many of those pilots just zip through the sky like nothing, thinking about what they want for dinner.

  8. Trust me Anonymous, nursing is boring when all you do all day is walk from class to class with an oxygen tank just in case a kid has a lung issue, which she never does.

    Nurse mostly plays sudoku all day.

  9. And if either the doctor or the trainer told you to use heat on your sprained muscle, I'm gonna smack them.


    I don't know why this is still so commonly recommended. Ice. Not heat. Heat will feel good while it's on, but make it worse in the long run. Only use heat for stiffness, not for sprained or painful muscles, because heat will increase inflammation and can also cause spasming.

    If there's pain, use ice. (Ice is also good for bruising, so the best thing even if it's a bruised bone and not a muscle strain.)

  10. It's okay. The doctor told me to ice it the first two days and put heat on it after that. He's pretty good at all healing that doesn't involve medicine. If I need pills I'm out of luck, but natural healing he's down with.


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