I'm better off leaving them with a monkey

I had to be out for three days during the past week. I was out Firday for - ahem - illness, and Monday and Tuesday I had to go to a workshop downtown. So I carefully thought out three days worth of detailed lesson plans that contributed to the curriculum and kept the kids busy practicing their persuasive writing techniques and studying Amy Tan.

Friday two of my classes were supposed to finish Romeo and Juliet. The sub did that, but also showed it to the class that had a lesson plan. Whatever. I had been planning to leave a movie for them for Monday and Tuesday, but now that they're behind they'll only be able to see half the movie. At least the other classes are still on track.

I came in Monday morning to put in the new lesson plan and noted on it that the students were not to watch a movie Monday at all. They were instead to do the assignments as written, dammit. I even locked the TV cabinet to make sure nobody could get in it. Apparently, handing out papers and sitting down while the kids write is too much work. The sub decided the best course of action was to watch World Cup soccer ALL DAY. No access to the television? No problem. My devious little substitute tried to pick the lock on the cabinet, then borrowed a TV from down the hall and wheeled it in, then eventually found a custodian to open the cabinet. This is what California tax payers paid him to do.

Tuesday I had a different substitute. This sub came in and saw that his predecessor had not done the assignments, so he did them instead. That would seem like the responsible thing to do if this guy hadn't been a psycho. He "cleaned up" my desk because he was appalled at its messiness. By clean up, I mean he stacked things into piles and threw away anything he thought looked like trash. For the record, my kids are awesome. I have some of the best behaved students in the school right now, but my sub still managed to kick three students out of class for talking and spent like fifteen minutes on the phone to my boss complaining about the rest of them. They were so resentful of his behavior that the kids rebelled against doing the assignment. I had one student actually turn anything in all day.

So three days away was three days wasted. And it's not just Los Angeles. In North Carolina one day a sub let the kids watch the NCAA basketball tournament all day and broke my stool in the process. At least here the jobs are a little more competitive so we can actually fire them. Now excuse me while I go figure out how to make up three days of wasted time in one ninety-five minute class.