Maybe I could outsource my dialogue

A dude from The Gap just called my cell phone. My bill was like two minutes late this month and they want their money. I sent in the bill three days ago, though, so there's not really anything this guy needs to worry about. Nonetheless, there he was, clearly calling from India. He had to say who he was with like eight times. I kept thinking he was calling me about some "DAP story". I was wracking my brain trying to figure out what I could possibly have written that would have been shortened to "DAP". Outsourcing is so annoying.

But that highlights something I've been trying to get better about in my writing. Most of us writers tend to make things a little too convenient in our stories. Characters understand each other and are johnny-on-the-spot with whitty comebacks. I don't know about you, but whenever I talk to this guy I have a crush on I sound like a moron. Two minutes later in my car I'm spouting all kinds of awesome responses. But in movies and on TV, people never seem to have that problem. And they never have to deal with stuff like outsourcing phone calls. Except in comedies. Friends did that kind of stuff all the time. I should go watch old episodes. I'm also gonna go read more Salinger because he is the master of naturalistic dialogue. Then I'm going to work on that with my next spec. It's not that I don't do dialogue well because I do, but I think I need to work on the dialogue of miscommunication.

Maybe in the process I can absorb the ability to have better replies when I talk to cute boys. It could be like a superpower.