Little Round Boy appeared on my radar when I saw him skipping one day and told him to go to class, at which point he made up a million conflicting lies about why he wasn't there already and proceeded to wander around campus some more, flaunting it in my face that I couldn't make him go.
I know Little Round Boy's real name now, but I find it so much more satisfying to refer to him as "Little Round Boy." My classes all know about him. My students call him the nickname I gave him and tell me when they see him around.
A haiku by one of my students:
The little round boy
Walking around campus
Ditching every class
Because he knows I've made it my mission to destroy him, he frequently wanders past my classroom as if to say, "What are you gonna do, bitch?"
At first I just got annoyed, then I realized how much power I have to really screw with this kid. I've told every security person on campus about him so they're all looking for him. If he's caught he'll be thrown out of school again. He knows this, so every time I see him I pull out my phone and act like I'm calling security then laugh as he runs away as fast as his chubby little legs can carry him.
Today I started actually calling him "Little Round Boy" to his face and it's really pissing him off. "Look everybody, it's Little Round Boy!" I said as he sauntered past on his way to skipping homeroom.
"Why you fucking call me that?" he said with his scrunched up face of irritation.
It is my goal to make that his permanent nickname. If he's fifty and people are still calling him "Little Round Boy" I will be filled with joy. Actually by that point I probably won't even remember him. Even better.
Petty, yes. But so much fun.
Sometimes embarrassment is your only weapon. Do not screw with me, kids.
I love your blog- I am a teacher and made films in a former lifetime. I like the way you are not always politically correct- especially about the education world.
ReplyDeleteI'm really disappointed, however, for the first time after reading your blog.... you are in a power position and should not be calling the truant a nickname that refers to his size. I'm not a fan of modelling that bullying behaviour for students, either, as you yell it from your classroom door. The rest of it- 'the chase'- I'm OK with...but names have the power to hurt for years afterward. It's too easy- you're better than that!
I should perhaps add some details.
ReplyDeleteBefore I started calling this kid names I told him repeatedly to go to class. Not only did he start walking right by my class about four times a day and look in my window, but over the past week he has bullied one of my students into doing the same while he was supposed to be in my class. The kid has no respect for any teachers or administrators and is rude to pretty much everybody.
Did I mention that he cusses me out when I ask him to go to class? And laughs?
I warned him. "If I see you skipping around my room again I will destroy you," I said. He shrugged it off. He brought this on himself.
If he goes to class he won't have to deal with me ever again.
You scare me.
ReplyDelete