Monday, January 04, 2010

Thinking about Avatar

Saw Avatar. I am kind of amazed that this movie made so much money because I definitely doubted Cameron on this one. How does he do it? Did he sell his soul to the devil? It's not a bad movie by any means, but it's not really a great movie either. Yet here he is, raking in the dough just like he said he would. Astounding.

Okay now I'll say some things I thought about in the theater:

It's about time somebody finally made Piranha 3D. I'm not sure how we survived without it.

Okay the 3D is badass. Fully integrated.

Yep. Just like everybody said. Dances with Aliens.

This is starting to remind me of Star Wars: Episode One when they went on that underwater chase with the fish and the bigger fish and it was sort of like "Do we really need this long alien animal chase scene, or is it just showing off how cool our technology is?"

Why do aliens love apostrophes so much?

Why are none of the Na'vi fat? Surely at least one of them is kind of lazy. Maybe that's what we're not seeing. They're like a Logan's Run type society where they chase down fat people and eat them. Humans don't seem so bad now, do they?

I'm sorry I'm white. I didn't mean to be. I never meant to colonize anybody.

Would it have been so wrong to just let Sam Worthington be British instead of making him do that weird accent? Why in these movies do only Americans ever conquer space? Oh yeah. Manifest Destiny I guess. Damn us.

Giovanni Ribisi is the most adorable villain ever.

This is the least butch role Michelle Rodriguez has ever played.

I like that one main alien chick's voice.

I wish I had a giant bird I could fly to work.

Look at all these people. We look so cool, wearing sunglasses in the theater.

When you have a film in 3D please edit it down to under two hours. Prolonged exposure to 3D movies gives me a headache. Avatar gave me a headache. Anybody else get a headache?


  1. Loved it. Brilliant film making. So much better than his bigger hit, Titanic. Not as good as his Terminator films, Aliens, or True Lies.

  2. I loved the spectacle but hated the movie. I like to see stories about characters who have sane reasons for doing what they do.

    Jake's brilliant plan is to go to war.. harder than they had already been going to war? And he would have lost, but the spirit of the planet liked him better than any of the actual natives, so they win.

    See, Apostrophes, you should have tried praying to your Prayer Tree. Good thing there was a human around to teach you.

    And yes, the 3D gave me a splitting headache. It was pretty, but anytime something showed up in the foreground, six inches in front of me, I had to close one eye or get painfully jolted out of the movie.

  3. Patty Pancake4:10 PM

    Avatar effing Ferngully Redux, for crying out loud in 3D.

  4. I loved the movie. Nope I didn't get a headache but the 1st time I saw it, I had my period. So I took an aspirin right before the film. maybe that's why I didn't get a headache.

    2nd time I saw the film, I had a splitting headache that morning (cos of too much reading), so I popped another aspirin. so i didnt get a headache during the 2nd viewing, either

  5. Cameron takes a very simple archetypal storyline, does not complicate it with silly things like bad guys with depth, and pairs it with monumental effects. Winning box-office formula.

    I liked it, liked it a lot even - didn't love it, but I generally don't love the mega-hits.

  6. I'd heard Dances With Smurf Cats, but either way I got the mediocre story I was expecting, but at least with kick-ass 3-D, like I was also expecting. I liked that it was not usually in-your-face 3-D but mostly just "there." (I watch movies not dubbed-into-German which only 2-D cinemas offer in this town, so it was my first 3-D movie outside some IMAX CG bullshit a few years ago.)

    No headache, thankfully, even despite me eyes having a slight focusing problem at times.

  7. I think having Sam Worthington try to do a British accent would have made it even wierder!

  8. Sam was born in England but he's surely considered an Australian actor, which is his natural accent.

    I loved AVATAR, I hate to admit.

    But close your eyes (if you dare) and you may find that the only worthy performances are those of the villains.


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