Monday, March 22, 2010

Coffee in LA

I met a friend yesterday for lunch, and after our mimosas and paninis we wandered down to a coffee shop next to the Upright Citizens Brigade theater. I don't remember the name of it, but it was quirky. It had this cool back room with a blacklight and tiny chairs and this one chair that had nipples and some kind of peculiar smell. And $4 mugs of hot chocolate.

Powder and hot water and whipped cream. FOUR DOLLARS. What is that, like a 96% markup?


When we walked in there were four people at four different tables typing away on their laptops. I should specify that they were not only four people, they were four bald men. At separate tables on separate laptops. They were all annoyed. I'm not sure if they were annoyed at us for being really loud when we walked in or annoyed because their scripts were not going as planned, but they were four annoyed bald men. Come to think of it, maybe they were annoyed because they'd paid $4 for hot chocolate.

Louis Lombardi was in there with a posse. He asked if he could have some of my hot chocolate. He was joking, I think, because of his jolly smile, but at that point what does one say? I'm not giving any of my $4 drink to some stranger, even if he was on The Sopranos. I spilled it on myself instead.

On the way out I noticed that every single person in that place was talking about or working on a movie.

"The producer says..."
"We need to do more research..."
"He was working on a pitch for HBO...."

And there was us, and we were also talking about movies. My friend said we should start talking very loudly about my high-powered agent and all the parties I've been to at Spielberg's house, just for kicks.

I love this town.


  1. I love L.A, too! I'm gonna try to get my short film into L.A festivals so I can visit it again soon

  2. Anonymous4:59 PM

    Nice, nice

  3. It's the Bourgeois pig. Right next to the newsstand/shop...

  4. Yeah, that's the place.

    And let me know when you're in town, DIMA, we'll get $4 hot chocolates.

    And Lolsies, "Anonymous."

  5. When I move to LA, I'll be the balding screenwriter at Santa Anita betting the ponies. The hot chocolate probably won't have whipped cream though.

  6. I've been told that Josh Olson writes there quite a bit. But he has hair, so he probably wasn't there at the time.

  7. Doesn't that make you nervous, though? Whenever anyone starts talking about writing movies, I get nervous, and want to run away, because I don't want to talk about it!

    ...which is bizarre.

  8. Why do you think that is?

    I like talking about movies. It's actually kind of an obsession.

  9. Josh Olson "writes" at Santa Anita? If they allowed dogs at the track too, it would be just almost like heaven.

  10. Josh Olson writes at the Bourgeois Pig, actually. I don't know who writes at Santa Anita.

    The other week at a revival screening the guy who wrote HEATHERS introduced me to the guy who directed HEATHERS. L.A. has its good points.

  11. At $4, a hot chocolate still seems better value than a coffee (Sydney prices).

    And here the ones talking about their movie careers are the waiters.

    Plus, there's no bald men in movies in Sydney. They ALL look like Hugh Jackman. (Except this one, of course.)

  12. A friend of mine with film credits older than the lives of most aspiring writers made a comment about coffee joints. When I expressed a lack of concern about an interesting concept being stolen, he responded that there is a Starbucks right down the street full of writers willing to steal it.

    Conformity, no thanks! Where's my copy of the fucking Racing Form?


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