I only date nonsmoking libras who like mangos

Here's something that's been bothering me about Grey's Anatomy. I think it's what stops me from really getting emotionally involved in the show.

Not everybody is consistent.

In reality, don't you kind of stick to the same basic qualities of attraction? By that I mean we all have a "type" more or less. You date nerdy guys or girlie girls or whatever you like as a general rule. But most people are attracted to a certain category of person. The same girl who falls for Vin Diesel isn't likely to leave him for Bill Gates unless she's so traumatized by old Vinnie's behavior that she just wants the opposite. But there's a reason.

Or something.

Take Christina. She's consistent. Despite the events of the most recent episode, Christina loves Preston Burke. He's ambitious, just like her. And before him she loved another extremely ambitious man. Christina would never date anyone who's goal in life was not to be legendary in his field.

Or Meredith. McDreamy and McVet both have similar abilities to calmly look into your eyes and see your sweet qualities underneath your emotional baggage. They're very similar guys, which is why Meredith had a hard time choosing between them.

George even makes sense. He's been attracted to Meredith and Izzie. Both unattainable women who are way out of his league. Callie, however, even though she's way beautiful and talented, is within George's grasp. He married her because she was right for him, but he'll never love her. That I get.

Or Addison. She likes them pretty, charming and a bit shallow. I can relate.

It's Izzie and Alex who confound me. Izzie was all over Alex, a guy who was kind of jerk. Then she was all over Denny, the sweetest guy in the hospital who needed her. So does she need to be needed? Because Alex certainly didn't need her. Neither does George, although she seems to think he does. But after Denny you'd think she'd be looking for someone who will be there to take care of her, not some other woman's husband. It just doesn't make sense. These three men she's loved are so vastly different, and I don't really believe that a girl like Izzie, who is unbelievably beautiful and smart, would keep throwing herself at random men who come her way without any common bond between them.

Same with Alex. One minute he's a shallow jerk, the next he's a loving doctor who sees the true beauty in a patient's eyes. There's not really any reason except that it's what the writers want to happen. What changed Alex was a couple of conversations with a patient and the apparent mind reading Addison Shepard, but Alex didn't start wanting a real relationship because of anything that actually happened to him and I don't buy it.

Real people are attracted to others because of a psychological need they have to fill. It's why some women date men who abuse them over and over or some men seem to always know how to find the neediest girl in the room. When you change your type it's because of a very profound experience in your life.

I almost got married. My type (formerly endearing nerds) has done a complete 180 since then but it's still consistent, just differently consistent: ambitious charmers who can beat people up if they need to. That's a direct result of what I was missing in my last relationship, and every guy I've been attracted to in the last year fits that mold.

It's one thing Writing Partner has been very good about reminding me of. He's constantly calling to ask why our characters are together and why they feel the need to act the way they do in their relationship. It forces me to add behavior quirks to the lovers when I realize that this girl would not be with this guy unless she had some major daddy issues. When you realize something like that you can really play with her behavior toward other men. But she has to be consistent.