The treasure is the test, see

I just got back from an assembly that was supposed to get everybody revved up about standardized testing. It was pirate themed.

So going in I was like, oh crap. This is going to be lame. I really need this time to let my kids research the era of The Great Gatsby. But our attendance was required, to the point where my boss came and asked why the hell my kids' butts weren't planted in auditorium seats.

It turned out to be a short play using the characters from The Pirates of the Caribbean. Will, Elizabeth and Jack Sparrow impressionists mocked each other and spouted out groan-worthy puns for half an hour in an effort to convince us that testing is a good thing.

The cast probably didn't realize it because our kids are suspicious of everything and refuse to clap, but they really dug it. The teachers even liked it and we don't like anything. It was genuinely funny. The guy who played Jack Sparrow actually has some real acting chops. I'm going to try to find him later to see if he can send me a head shot and a resume. He has excellent improv skills. On his way to the stage he passed my kids and spotted one of them texting on her Sidekick. He stopped, sat down in an empty seat in front of her and commented on her "strange contraption".

I wonder how that sort of thing gets put together? It was obviously sanctioned by official Pirates executive types. Was it a marketing ploy or did we pay for that service? Because judging by the number of kids who lined up at the end to get their pictures taken with the fake movie star pirates, this will increase interest in the sequel among South Central's teenage population.

I wonder how much Ted and Terry know about this. And who wrote the dialogue, because it was actually funny, although many of the jokes fell on ignorant ears. "A point is moot because when a person is mute they can't make their point properly as no one can hear what they're saying."

The kids didn't really get that one. Or Will's comments about Jack being "far too swishy." Jack's comments about enjoying booty they understood.

You just never know when you'll find good drama around here. One more reason to love Los Angeles. The guy playing Will Turner may have just done a three-part stint on Law and Order for all I know. In the sticks the part will be played by Joe Bob the 47-year-old auto mechanic.