Saturday, April 14, 2012

You should see this movie

Many years ago, a roommate rented a movie called Mating Habits of the Earthbound Human, and I fell in love. You probably have not seen this movie, which is why I have a copy of it; so that anyone I know who has the least inclination to watch it can always borrow it from me, as long as they give it back promptly. It's become my go-to suggestion whenever a friend asks for a recommendation for an obscure comedy.

The film stars Mackenzie Astin (brother of Sean, son of Patty Duke, fully adorable) and Carmen Electra as a mismatched couple that meets, falls in love, and experiences various forms of birth control until they finally make a baby. It's a faux documentary, narrated by David Hyde Pierce. Lucy Liu and Marc Blucas are also in this movie.

Okay so Carmen Electra, who works in some kind of office setting but wears the sluttiest fucking clothes to work since Shannen Doherty on Charmed, goes out to a bar wearing what appears to be a wash rag over her gigantic fake boobs. Mackenzie Astin mans up and hits on her, and the dating ritual begins. David Hyde Pierce tells us all about it.

After some basic datey type events, they get it on, and that's when the fun stuff happens. During their sex scenes, we cut to a track where men dressed as giant sperm act out the fertilization process. When the gun shot goes off, they all race for the zygote at the end of the track, later represented by an X mark on a tiny trampoline. But at this time they do not reach the X, because Mackenzie Astin has put on a condom. All the sperm men SLAM into a giant gym mat put in their way.

Later she puts on a diaphragm, and uses birth control, and there's a scene where he either masturbates or pulls out - I can't remember which - but the sperm guys just keep running and running and running until they sort of stop and look around and realize the zygote is nowhere to be found. They're very disappointed.

Basically, this movie is hilarious. Carmen Electra wears slutty clothes and gets naked with Mackenzie Astin, and David Hyde Pierce narrates it all in his Niles Crane voice, and there's giant dudes in sperm costumes racing each other to babyland. And somewhere in there is a romantic comedy and some dialogue and shit. So you should see this movie if you enjoy awesome things. There are no explosions in it, but there are some magnificent fake boobs and a dude dressed as Arnold shoots a machine gun at some point, so there's something for everyone. Look it up: Making Habits of the Earthbound Human. It's available on Netflix.


  1. Aaaarrrgh!! Quickflix in Australia don't have it!

    Thank God for Amazon...

    I keep admiring your impeccable taste, Emily.

  2. I despise this movie. And I'm not just saying that to be be a dick.


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