Writing Partner broke up with me

There's something I've been meaning to talk about for some time but didn't want hurt someone's feelings. As of this afternoon that's no longer an issue so I'm finally free to discuss it without repercussions.

This will be long.

When I met Writing Partner I was in turmoil. I was right in the middle of my chaotic period, when I felt like I couldn't get a grip on who I was or what I was supposed to do or how to handle my relationships with men.

Then I met WP and he said he was completely happy with himself. He said he'd figured out how to love himself and he could teach me. He had all the answers to life.

So I started letting him tell me how to live my life. And when I forgot to pay a bill he nagged me over and over and made me feel like a loser. So when I accidentally forgot to pay a bill I didn't tell him about it because I didn't want to get yelled at. When he found out he called me a liar and told me he couldn't trust me anymore. I told him it wasn't his business. He reminded me that he was just trying to help me be a better person and I was ungrateful.

Things like that were supposed to make me a happier person.

And sometimes I enjoyed spending time with him. Sometimes he was nice to me. He'd say these amazingly sweet things right after he made me feel like a worm. I already felt bad about myself so it was easy for me to believe that he was right, that I was a loser and a liar and a weak person. He even used that word.

"I'm a strong person," he told me once. "You're not. You're weak. I'm sorry, but you are."

He stayed with me a while, then moved away. We still talked on the phone. Then we started writing.

Writing sessions were shouting matches first. He would tell me I did something wrong and I would get defensive and finally after half an hour of psychologically damaging each other we'd finally put down some really good pages.

I was a wreck every time I talked to him because I was waiting for him to tell me what horrible thing I'd done now. He'd tell me my writing style was just no good and any producer would never hire me, then just when I was getting pissed off he'd apologize and tell me how good the story turned out in the end.

Then when I decided to film Game Night I turned to him for advice. He constantly talked about what he learned in film school. He constantly reminded me that I did not go to film school. I took a few of his suggestions, I decided against a few others. Any time I decided not to take his advice he told me he didn't understand why I disrespected him so much.

He asked me to play Eric. He told me all the time what a great actor he is. On his last film the producer and director constantly turned to him for advice. He was the only thing that saved the project. They were lucky to have him.

So I told him he could play Eric.

I gave him one request about being on set - please don't call me out in front of the cast and crew. If he didn't like something I was doing, he could pull me aside and tell me privately and I'd heed his advice or not, but I didn't want him questioning my authority in front of everyone else since this was my first time directing. I knew how much he liked to give me advice, whether I'd asked for it or not.

The first thing he did on set? He started questioning my decisions out loud, in front of everyone. I tried to ignore it, although I'm sure my irritation showed. It made me defensive, as usual when dealing with WP. I'm sure I started disagreeing with him to intentionally show everyone I was still in command.

He said I picked on him. At lunch I asked him to talk to the PA, who was already at Subway, and tell her what he wanted. He grabbed my wrist.

"No," he said. "Not until you tell me why you're being so hard on me."

"I'm not being hard on you. Please just tell her what you want for lunch."

He was pulling my wrist tight. It hurt. I tried to push the phone into his hand instead. "No," he said. "You're being mean to me. Why?"

"Just tell her what you want for lunch."

"Not until you tell me why you're picking on me!"

I started yelling. "I'm not picking on you, goddammit, I'm directing! Now tell her what the fuck you want on your sandwich and shut the fuck up!"

He came back later and apologized.

Then he went back home to a land far away. We kept working on Bamboo Killers. He decided to change one of his chapters - called "Seed of Power" - and emailed the new version to me and asked me to read it. At the moment there's not much we can do with the script and it's close to finished so I've been in no massive hurry to make the last few changes anyway.

So I admit, I didn't do it right away. If something is on a deadline I do it on time. If there's a place I'm supposed to be at a certain time, I'm there. But if there's no time limit - well I'm not quite as reliable because I usually have a dozen things going at once. Most people who know me know this about me. You just have to remind me like three times and I'll eventually get around to it. Just nudge me. Say, "Hey, Emily, did you do the thing? Do the thing."

And I'll go "OH! I forgot to do the thing. I'm sorry. I'll do the thing."

But when I didn't read WP's short right away he sent me an email asking me why I wasn't his friend anymore. He'd always thought I was such a good person, but now he was disappointed in how I'd put everything else before this script.

I ignored the passive aggression and told him I'm sorry I'm really busy, I'll get around to it when I can.

Then I got so busy I could barely breathe and I forgot completely about my promise to read his script. I read a draft a few months ago, so I honestly forgot he'd sent me a new one. I could have read it right away when I was distracted, but I wanted to wait until I had time to dedicate to paying careful attention to it, and by that time I'd forgotten all about it. That was my fault and I'm sorry for it. But it's not the end of the world.

So yesterday he sent me this:

I am a little surprised you haven't read my final draft of Seed after taking your notes after all of this time. Kind of upsetting considering every time you sent me something to read, I read right away and gave you extensive feedback and read all of your drafts asap. I noticed on your blog you took off Bamboo Killers as one of your projects. Should I assume you lost interest in BK...? I've had some writers read my final Seed of Power and really loved it. These people are very harsh so I am happy with the work I put into it. You have told me the last few times I ask that you don't have time, but that is not true because you work on your blog everyday, and you work on you Zombies script. And it takes about 10 minutes to read. It's pretty much a slap in my face for the help I immediately and have always given you.

So I told him if he emailed me again without the passive aggression I'd get right to it. But as long as he continued to make it our friendship every single time I did something he didn't like I wasn't really up for responding to that kind of manipulation. If he'd said, "Hey Emily why haven't you read 'Seed of Power' yet?" I'd have apologized and done it immediately.

Instead he responded in an email so scathing and nasty it's obvious he was trying to think of the most painful thing he could say to me. It might have worked when he first met me, but I'm no longer the confused, insecure girl I was then. WP then told me never to contact him ever again.

So I will not be dealing with him anymore. And I'm glad.

And now, a word from my writing partner

I am stepping aside today to allow Writing Partner to speak his piece. I figure he's due, since I'm constantly going on about him on here with questionable accuracy. He's always emailing me going, hey! I never said that! And I'm like whatever dude. My blog. You said it if I say you said it.

So today he gets to have the floor. Please hold your applause until the end. Thank you.

Writing with Emily

She works her ass off. Do YOU know how rare that is? Do you? DO YOU?

Well, in less than a year a pilot, short, feature, and completely finished, in the can, final scene of the feature is finished…shot, made, crafts services, everything, DONE…well-done. Like a burger. Or steak.

That is why I work with Emily. She does shit. Shit gets does’d, I mean done. Is she easy to work with? Not really, but did you hear me earlier…SHIT GETS DONE! How many of you are actually getting it done? That’s what I thought.

But I digress, because sometimes it IS easy to work with her. It all melts together like a grilled ham and swiss in the toaster sandwich maker that cost $9.99 at Target. And that is a beautiful thing. On the set of Game Night when I saw all of what came out of our brains being brought to life like Frankenstein’s Monster it was exhilarating. And that is because Emily gets shit done. She helped me to curse more. Yep, she did that. I curse like I did when I was 13. But only in the right company of people. You people. The viewers in Blogdom. Readers, whateva’.

To get to the nitty gritty of it all, working with someone who equals or surpasses your passion is the steam that vomits creativity from the barf train. I am telling you these seeds get watered after you get a one sentence plotline racing through your head. You bounce ideas off your partner, she says, “No” and in your mind silently you say “Fuck You” but then by the end of the conversation 100 or more better ideas were not only conceived but slid out the slippery tube of the land of Fallopia. It is that madness, that inner anger, that turmoil of the insecurity of wanting to be an artist, of being a wannabe because you can’t call yourself an artist until you make art, James Joyce, all of those ego bruising phone calls at ALL hours of the day in different time zones, different countries, different universes, those phone calls made some damn good art.

Subject your opinions on our beloved short, object your opinions, I don’t care, because all effort ends in something good, something learned, and if the writing isn’t good enough for some egghead BS quarterfinal of some crap ass writing competition. WHO CARES….cuz I guarantee you most of those 25 cent-finalists will never have any part of their feature made into a beautifully crafted short, nevermind the feature it was intended to be. Okay?

Me and Emily-----We get shit done!

My Partner and Me

So the quarterfinal results of the Expo screenplay contest were announced today and Bamboo Killers is nowhere to be seen.

My very first screenplay did better than that four years ago. Then again, there were twice as many entries this time around and Writing Partner and I both agree we need another pass at the script.

What annoys the crap out of me is why the hell I didn't enter my favorite short. I have no idea, but it would have kicked the shit out of the competition. This isn't the one I shot, this is the one I want to shoot next. It's about boxing and everybody who reads it loves it. I love it too. But somehow I forgot to submit it to the Expo.

Alas. Onward and upward.

Yesterday David posed a question about writing with a partner so I will now address what I know about the issue. It was only about a year ago I was asking the question. What a difference a year makes.

First of all, I know so very little compared to Terry and Ted of Pirates of the Caribbean fame. Read this article about how they work together first. That will probably answer all your questions because they've actually made money doing this and I haven't made the quarter finals.

But in case you still want my humble experience I'll give that too. If anybody's still listening.

I've got a bunch of posts that have dealt with specific issues that have come up between me and Partner that you can peruse here. I also may have posted on this topic before, but not in as much detail as I will here.

Partner was actually a friend staying at my apartment for a month when he had some domestic troubles last year. He went to film school and directed a few shorts, but most of his direct film experience was in acting. I don't believe he'd ever written a feature length script, which of course I had.

Partner, although I give him much grief, is actually a fabulous person. He drives me bat-shit crazy, but he's also one of my best friends.

I digress.

So we were sitting around one night and I started talking about this idea I had for a TV show about events that follow a school shooting. It was a little bit like The Wire meets Boston Public. Partner loved the concept so we started working out the story beats. Then he moved away to a cold land in the north and we wrote the script over email. It was a giant pain in the ass because I was using Movie Magic and Partner had to use Word. Thank God he now has Movie Magic as well so that nightmare is over.

Anyway, once we had a loose outline of how the story would go one of us - me, I think - started the first few pages. I got about 10 pages in then ran out of steam, so I sent what I had to him. He took a look at what I had, called me, we discussed the next move, then he added some more pages then sent it back to me. Then I called him, we discussed, I added pages and it kept on like that until we had a first draft.

Then that guy shot all those people at Virginia Tech. Thanks, ass face.

So we dropped that script for a while and mulled over where to go next. Then one day we were joking about a night when he was staying with me when we played a game of Taboo with a couple of friends. Then we started building a story out of the events. And using the same back and forth method as before we pumped out 12 pages pretty quickly. Like over a weekend.

It was okay. The characters were fantastic but the story was boring. Then we brainstormed until we came up with the idea that ended up driving this whole thing and making our story go from mediocre to freaking awesome. After that we discussed what else needed to be fixed. We divvied up the tasks. I would take one character and give her a stronger arc and he would take another. Then we were done with the short and I commenced plans to film it.

But we kept talking about these characters and where they could go. And we kept talking about what we would do next. And one morning I woke up with an idea about how to combine both and write a Pulp Fictionlike film we could shoot one story at a time.

Then it was easy. I took two characters and Partner took two characters and we each wrote a short to reveal an interesting look into their character that pushed the larger story at the same time. We tied it all together with a short I'd written a few weeks before that we realized we could revise to serve our new feature.

At first each short was way too much in our individual styles. He's more comedy, I'm more drama. So I did a pass where I changed anything that sounded 100% him and he did the same on my material until it all sounded more even.

We still have a little work to do on our feature since it didn't clear the quarter finals and all, mostly on one of the chapters that's a tad too slapstick comedy to match the rest, but all in all I feel prouder of this script than anything that came before it.

I don't know if we'll write together again; this may be the only thing we complete together. Everything I've started since has been my own personal project and he's gotten pretty heavily back into acting, but I learned a great deal from the experience. I can now show that I work well with others, but I also have scripts of my own that prove he wasn't the one with all the talent.

I guess if you want me to sum up what I learned I'd say two things.

1) Communication. Partner and I were on the phone for as much as six hours a day, sometimes all at once, sometimes in increments. On occasion I would not like something but I wouldn't say anything because I thought Partner loved it. And every single time this happened it turned out that he hated it too but thought I loved it. So you have to be honest and open and communicate.

2) Be open minded. We fought constantly during the writing process. Then again, we'd fight even if we lived in the land of milk and honey and everything was perfect because that's just how we are. So when we disagreed and I'd hang up on him - which I did, frequently - we'd both go to neutral corners and ponder. Then he'd come up with an idea and I'd come up with an idea and we'd meet somewhere in the middle. But if one of us couldn't convince the other it was a good idea to leave in the part in contention, it was out. I believe I got that from Ted and Terry.

Tomorrow: Writing Partner finally tells his side of the story.

I'm a filmmaker, everybody

This is me directing. And also slouching:

Thanks to all those people who wished me luck. It worked.

Saturday morning DP came in and said, "I don't usually look at the footage from the day before because I don't want to see all the things we did wrong, but I decided to look at it last night..."

-and this is when I held my breath, waiting for the inevitable list of reshoots we were going to have to blow through before we could move on-

"....and it was really good. It was really funny. We have a lot to work with."

That's kind of what this weekend was like.

The first day I really had no idea what I was doing but my crew - consummate professionals all - was very patient and helpful and quietly guided me through the shoot so that by the end of Sunday's shoot I was pretty confident about the choices I was making. So I owe Kellee a HUGE thank you for being an amazing script supervisor and AD. I would have been lost without her. DP was filled with ideas and brilliant shots, Gaffer was everywhere, perfecting everything quickly and making beautiful light with no power and dealing with a giant set of glass doors on the balcony.

I was so lucky. Our biggest problems were a broken china ball, a bottle full of red ibuprofen that was supposed to double as cocaine and a fire alarm going off in the condos across the street followed shortly by the sound of fire trucks. All problems were easily solved or went away while we shot a few inserts.

I also owe a big thank you to my fabulous PA, who took these pictures, kept an eye on continuity, manned the air conditioning unit, ground up ibuprofen and somehow managed to still take care of lunch. Also my amazing Boyfriend who turned out to be the perfect sound guy. When it began pouring with crazy rain - while my roofless Jeep sat parked on the street all day and is now filled with puddles of water which are hopefully evaporated by now - Boyfriend went on the roof and bared the storm to lay a blanket over the vent that was making all the clinky noises. Problem solved once again.

Things went so right we actually finished four hours early on Sunday. That I owe to my incredible set of actors who knew their characters inside and out, knew their lines perfectly and took my direction just right with minimal complaint.

I still can't believe we had no major disasters. Not only did we have no major disasters, but we had a lot of fun.

Here are some pics from the set.

Guns and roses:


A little girl on girl:
Some of the talent and the crew in serious preparation:So, in short, my first directing experience was wonderful. That's what happens when you surround yourself with excellent people.

I just can't handle it

For the past few days I've been a nervous wreck. At night I've been swirling the sheets into a tight wrap around my body, in the day I've had pounding headaches that won't leave me alone. My stomach is in knots and my shoulders are turning into earmuffs.

A nice chunk of my money and a lot of people's weekends are riding on my directing skills and I have no idea what I'm doing. Now I've learned that the AC my DP has brought on board actually gave up a paying job to come to the shoot. So now I feel guilty. It has long been my contention that if I'm not paying everybody I'm not paying anybody, but this guy is actually losing money to be here.

If I fuck this up everybody's gonna be pissed.

DP doesn't seem too worried. He says look, here's where we are, here's what we need to do, no big deal. It will all work out.

Actors are like, whatever, tell me where to stand.

Boyfriend is like, just get me the equipment and I'll hold the boom.

Writing Partner is like YOU MUST DO THIS NOW! NOW NOW NOW! IF YOU DON'T DO THE FOLLOWING THINGS AND THIS OTHER THING I JUST THOUGHT OF WE ARE ALL DOOMED!

His heart is in the right place. He went to film school, I didn't. He's worked on a bunch of films, I haven't. He knows I'm going to need guidance.

But his guidance has made me a bundle of nerves.

I realized this last night when I received three emails in a row from him about the order of operations on set.

I told him I couldn't take it anymore and from this point on, would he please just be an actor? Let the DP give me all that guidance because DP isn't making me feel panicked.

And Partner said oh. Ok. Let's talk about the part, then.

And I immediately felt better. We've been discussing the script and the casting and nothing else since. And he's been very supportive.

And now I feel like maybe the world won't end if I do something wrong. I am surrounded by people who will make sure I don't.

It will all be okay.

Sound advice

First of all, this is like the busiest week ever. If I was supposed to email or call you for any reason I'm sorry. I haven't even had time to buy groceries. Fortunately I have enough left over lasagna and some soup in my kitchen. I am almost out of soap.

I'm trying to box, teach, rebel against my boss and prepare to shoot my short film this week. And next week I go on vacation so I'm grading papers like a madman. But next Wednesday my time becomes my own again, then it becomes all about the writing. Zombie movie. Expo. Short film.

My current conundrum with Game Night is the sound issue. I have people coming at me from all sides with advice on how to handle sound and they all have different suggestions. Almost all of the film shoots in my living room with my actors gathered around a coffee table.

There's Writing Partner, who wants to load up with crew but use one lav on the coffee table and a boom. Then there's Boyfriend, who's willing to handle sound on his own, Robert Rodriguez style with a boom and a pair of headphones and not much else. I could get the equipment for cheap over at Indierentals and he'll handle the rest.

He thinks we might also need a lav on all four actors because of the echo factor on my hardwood floors. But there is some yelling in the script. Maybe I should get a rug instead.

Boyfriend also said a refrigerator isn't as much noise as you think. Partner says refrigerators are really loud and the one POV shot in the refrigerator is going to totally fuck up my sound. But I want that shot.

Then there's a bunch of people who say I should pay whatever it takes to get a professional sound guy to come in and handle everything. But I don't have a lot of extra cash.

And everybody says I shouldn't skimp on sound because if the sound sucks, the movie sucks. And now my brain hurts from all the anxiety.

What kind of experiences have you guys had with sound? Disasters? Achievements? What worked? What didn't? Add to my confusion by giving me more opinions.

Casting phobia

It's getting closer and closer to my filming weekend. I have most of the crew in. I still need a good sound guy who's willing to work for free, which, I'm told, is a bit of a tall order. It's not so much that I mind paying the guy, it's that I mind paying that guy and not anybody else.

I also still need two actresses and I must confess that casting frightens me more than directing.

I think that's probably because I don't like telling people bad news. I know I don't have to tell them right then, but still. I like people. I want to make them happy. So I'm a little afraid that I'm going to be overwhelmed by all these girls and their different abilities and want to hire them all. And what if they turn out to be bitchy?

I want to hire my friends. The two male parts will be played by my friends and they're fantastic. But what if my girl friends turn out to be wrong for the part? I'll feel so bad.

I'm not worried about this on the set. I manage a classroom just fine. A set will be no problem. But choosing the people to be on the set - that's a problem.

I went through a brief period where I played a lot of X-Box role playing games - Morrowind, Knights of the Old Republic, Jade Empire, Fable - and I was never, ever the bad guy. Ever. I feel bad for the animated characters. God only knows how I'm going to say no to dozens of real people. But if I don't I'll end up with a crappy short and that is the last thing I want.

Oh God, what if they get on set and suck and THEN I have to fire them? Sweet Jesus, what a nightmare. Donald Trump and that guy from Hell's Kitchen I am not.

It might not be so bad if Partner were here. He used to work for a casting director and he's playing one of the two male roles in Game Night, but he's away in a land of a midwestern no-budget horror film.

He's not here to help so I have to do this all myself.

I'm going to start with friends and recommendations from friends. Then Partner is going to send me resumes and headshots of girls his agent represents. Then if I still don't have my girls I'll put out a casting notice or two.

But I really just hope the first girl to read is dynamite. Then I don't have to disappoint anybody.

You have to know your pawns

Bill Martell has an excellent tip for today about backstory. Your characters need well developed backstory or they won't have a well-developed frontstory.

That's probably my greatest writing weakness. I make my characters spring into life as full-grown adults with a tiny amount of thought into where they were before. The only reason for that is that I'm simply lazy.

I'm not lazy about much. I work my ass off most of the time. I keep three or four projects going at the time and I write almost every day. But for some reason the idea of planning out a person's entire life that's never going to appear onscreen bores the crap out of me so I skip it. I want to hurry up and get to the story.

And my stories suffer for it. I know they suffer. That ends up being the source of most of the criticism I receive in my scripts.

Writing Partner insisted on doing this character traits chart for the first project we worked on together and it improved things quite a bit. But when it came time to write my pair of shorts for Bamboo Killers I went back to my old ways. Bamboo Killers turned out to be very good, but that's probably because it's an ensemble piece told in chapters, and the chapters themselves developed a lot of the backstory as we went.

So now I have zombie story in the works. During the staff meeting yesterday I drew up a loose backstory for my five major characters, but they were three or four sentences a piece. That's not good enough.

I have to go back and figure these people out. I should know everything about them. They should be real. Because if they're not real to me, how are they going to be real to someone they just met?

I know Mystery Man and Unk were running some nicely developed character analysis articles in the past, but does anybody have a good chart you use when you design your characters? I didn't like the one Partner and I used. I'd like a new one.

I have to get to know these people before I put them through hell.

All these things that I've done

So clearly my pictures are getting less and less relevant and more involved in cats. Just pretend you don't notice and enjoy them. Maybe that should be my gimmick from now on. Lolcats on every post. I'm getting there.

Bamboo Killers is all done. If only Writing Partner didn't live like ninety states away, we could go out for a beer and celebrate.

This is the first time in a while I've finished something. I've got a bunch of projects almost done in need of a thorough going over, but this I feel is completely ready to go.

Until something else comes up, anyway. Because nothing's ever really finished, is it?

But right now if I had to present a script to anybody, anywhere, I'd be proud to bust this out and drop it on the desk with a big smile on my face.

Yesterday I went through the script and changed anything in Partner's lines that bothered me. Then last night he did the same for my lines. So now everything is streamlined, cleaner, more solid.

Partner and I like to text each other about what geniuses we are. So we'll do that for the next two days and then get back to earth where we are deeply flawed individuals with many emotional problems.

But for today I feel pretty damn good.

Even though I was up late last night talking to Partner about what geniuses we are.

Who's in charge, here?

First of all, thanks to Mystery Man's glowing recommendation I started reading Jennifer Van Sijill's Cinematic Storytelling yesterday. I already feel smarter.

Lead Actor liked Game Night in the beginning when it was just a little character sketch. He thought the character I asked him to play was great fun. Then we upped the stakes and gave it an actual plot and he flipped for the changes. Saturday he read the current version of its feature length incarnation, Bamboo Killers, and said it made Game Night even better. I'm pretty sure he's not blowing smoke up my ass. Then again, he is an actor. And he has always been a charming little bastard.

He's very excited about the whole project, probably because at every stage his role in it gets bigger and more developed. It has now gone from a cute little project he could stick on his reel to a meaty lead part in an indie feature. What actor is going to turn that down?

He has his problems. He's a little flakey, a little self-absorbed. He's stretched himself so thin with work and acting and music and socializing that he sometimes craps on the people he knows will forgive him, one of those being me. He's blown me off on three separate occasions when we were supposed to meet to discuss the script, and he never called and had miserable excuses each time. This concerns Writing Partner, who believes Lead Actor has charmed me like a cobra in a basket.

But I don't do anything I don't want to do. I'm the one putting words in his mouth, after all.

On the upside, Lead Actor is helping me a great deal with learning to direct actors. He's taking me to his class tomorrow night to scout for cast who can work the scene with him for the teacher, then I get to rehearse with the group and work on my direction, then I get to go back to the class and watch the group perform it in front of the audience. That will be a huge help. I can see what gets laughs and watch how the teacher directs them from his chair.

Lead Actor is not usually forthcoming with the notes. I have to drag suggestions out of him and he sounds almost apologetic when he gives them. So when he told me Saturday night he now thinks Game Night is a little anticlimactic I listened.

Yesterday as I shrank Game Night into a four-page play I had to make a lot of tough choices about the core of the story. And I realized what Lead Actor meant. Our climax was kind of wimpy. A character stands up to another character, which is good, but nobody really wins the argument. It gets deflected and there's no real outcome. So I changed it to make the standoff end in a clear victory. The story instantly got better.

So if Lead Actor is making me do his bidding, I say he can keep the charm coming. For now, it's only helping.

What do you want from me?

Sometimes the answer is staring you in the face all the time.

Writing Partner is diligent. I got in at 4 am this morning but that didn't stop him from buzzing me bright and early to discuss the notes from the writers group meeting.

I got in at 4 because I was out bringing the damn house down with my karaoke skills. Wanna wrap the whole room around your finger? Sing "I'm Not Okay" by My Chemical Romance and scream the bridge as you hit the stage floor on your knees in a simulated musical catharsis. Oh yes. I got that party started.

Which was my goal for the evening.

Anyway, Partner and I spent our morning going over script notes. The eternal question came up: goal. What do our characters want? They have a clear sense of wanting to be better people, but they don't really want anything tangible. When they wake up in the morning they go through their day and interesting things happen that they learn from but they don't push the story with their desires. We need some tangible desires.

What's interesting to me is how often I say that to other people. What is your character's goal? They must have a goal. And yet here I was, putting a script out there with great characters whose goals are complete mysteries.

Partner and I did that this morning. We have a character who's kind of boring and serves as kind of an emotional punching bag the entire script. I asked Partner what this character's goal is.

Our character, Eric, has a lot of sexual issues as a sort of side bit to his personality. So Partner looked at the script and realized that instead of just having his girlfriend joke about his minor sexual issues we could turn it into a real conflict. He needs to fix these issues or he'll lose his girl. And tadaa! We raised the stakes.

The story was there. The character was there. We just needed to make one tiny change and everything fell into place.

If we don't know what your character wants how can we root for him? We won't know what we're rooting for.

Think about it right now for your latest script. Do you know what your protagonist wants? If you don't, you need to find out.

Right now my goal is to eat a sandwich. I'm gonna go make that happen if it takes all of the next five minutes.

Call me Panda

I got called up for jury duty yesterday but I got it postponed so I ended up home by 9:30 am. I had a sub for the day so Writing Partner and I spent the entire day working on the script. Like we were professionals or something.

At the rate Partner's going he might be unemployed soon. He's sort of started neglecting his paying job to work on the script more. But at least he'll have the awesome screenplay to keep him warm when he's homeless.

We probably spent a total of four hours on the phone but we got it done. We read through the entire script from beginning to end which is a hilarious event all by itself. Sometimes we ad lib. Sometimes our ad libs are so funny they make it into the script. I spent a good portion of my day doubled over in giggles.

After we finished our final draft of the script and the day was over and we were all prepared to go to sleep we realized we forgot the title.

Usually I'm good with titles. They just pop into my head when I first think of the script and that's that. But the nature of this story, with the chapters and all, has made it difficult to think of a clever way to sum up our story.

There's a Taoist quote about water Partner wrote into the script and we discussed at length how it sums up our primary theme. So I said, "Running Water"? And he said it sounds like a Hallmark Channel production. He said "Still Water"? And I said that sounds like a Tom Selleck Western on TNT.

We sat for a minute.

"Bamboo Killers," Partner said.

Duh.

A Friend and I had a conversation recently that involved the use of the phrase "bamboo killers". I thought the conversation was interesting so when I needed a character to say something random I yanked the discussion from my memory. When Partner and I read through the script yesterday I told him about the real life conversation and we realized how perfectly it summed up our primary theme.

Plus it sounds cool. Bamboo Killers.

I was so pleased with the title I kept repeating it as I fell asleep.

Bamboo killers. Bamboo killers. Bamboo killerssszzzzzzz.......

You work. I'll sleep.

Partner didn't sleep much last night.

I emailed Writing Partner: We need to finish the first draft of the script so I can upload it for the writers group to read in time for next week's meeting.

He called in a panic: It's not going to be ready!

I was all cool and collected and like, oh sure it will be fine. Just let me finish this thing and then we'll... Oh crap, it's not going to be ready!

I got a little frustrated because one of the scenes I was scheduled to write involved two male roommates confronting the other one about rent while his brother is in the room. So that's four boys in a room in the middle of a confrontation.

Now I'm pretty masculine for a girl and I've spent a lot of time being "one of the guys" but I have no brothers and I don't actually have a penis, so this scene was really driving me nuts. Partner looked at it and said it was fine but I didn't like it. I threw up my hands and made him fix it.

I heard the clackity-clack of his fingers on the keys of his computer as I lay in bead lamenting my frustration with the scene. It was 2 am his time and he was wide awake.

Then he read me what he had changed. It turns out, it wasn't the penises that was the problem, it was one penis who, quite frankly, was not behaving enough like a penis.

One change in a physical position between two characters and suddenly everything opened up. And all I had to do was mumble my agreement as I snuggled up in my pajamas.

So now the chapters are all put together and we're spending today doing one last pass over the whole thing, fixing a few chronology issues and putting a harder edge on one of our characters who needs to act more like a penis.

I get to feel proud for a whole week until we send it to the writers group and start all over when they rip it apart. Yay.

I love Partner.

And I can't wait to see how many people google this post looking for porn.

Kicking ass and taking names

Writing Partner has caught the bug.

Despite the fact that he went to fancy film school and knows lots about making movies, he doesn't have that much actual writing experience, and he's been very nervous about what I'd think of his part of the script.

Everything we've written up to this point we wrote together. I'd do a piece and send it to him and he'd do a piece and send it to me. But this project is in chapters, so I took two and he took two and we've worked on them independently, only occasionally checking in with the other one to bounce some ideas around.

He sent me a short he wrote on a whim recently and I did not like it, so it made him really worried that I wouldn't like his new stuff.

Then that thing happened. You know, that thing that happens. You know.

He sent his first draft to a friend who sent back three pages of notes. Partner looked at the notes and it hit him what he had to do. And that's when it happened. You know, that thing.

His story took over his brain. He called me like six times in one day to tell me how excited he was that he wasn't in control. The story was telling itself. He just sat in front of his computer for hours typing whatever his brain said to type.

And I cheered and said, now you're a writer.

When I read it today I was generally pleased. I go into every reading of everything expecting it to suck. So if something doesn't suck I am generally pleased. And I was generally pleased. I had some issues so we workshopped for an hour while I walked up to Larchmont, bought some tomatoes and hummus, and walked back. Cell phones are wondrous things.

There was a scene at the therapist. Our character, Sheila, reveals her thoughts to a psychiatrist. It was boring. So I said, this character is only here so Sheila can talk to herself (I heard that about therapists somewhere on this here interweb so thanks, whoever pointed that out - Unk, maybe? Bill?) and we need to ditch the psychiatrist.

But who?

I said, how about a friend? She's already shoe shopping in one scene. What if a friend came with her? Then she could-

That was all it took to get the ball rolling. The ideas started popping out of his mouth and he got really excited again. He called me fifteen minutes later just to tell me how awesome an idea that was. I'm actually a little worried. I think he may have replaced sleep with writing time.

But it did give him the opportunity to write a lesbian make-out scene so that had to be fun.

Don't ask.

I do find it interesting that his chapters are all about sex and mine are all about violence. That has to have some psychological significance, but we will not delve into that because it would be too boring to put on camera since it will not include any lesbian makeout scenes.

I was worried Partner wouldn't be able to keep up my pace but now it's me who's falling behind. I gotta step up my A game so we can make this brilliant.

I'm gonna be such a bitch to everybody when we're rich and famous.

Onto the next hurdle

I've been stumbling over Valerie.

Valerie is one of the two characters in Game Night that it is my job to write a chapter about and she's driving me crazy. Billy was easy - he's violent, drugged up, plagued with insecurities, and I know the actor who will play him. Plus I've been dying to write a boxing story so it was a natural fit.

Valerie, on the other hand, is a contradictory character. She's laid back yet extremely insecure with men. She's smart but easily manipulated. She's a mess, but looks fine on the surface.

I know the setting of the story and I have an idea for a character she needs to meet. But beyond that I've been having a hell of a time coming up with a story that had an actual plot instead of just lots of dialogue as two characters walk down the street.

So I used the old standby teaching method. Today I didn't have the books yet that I thought I'd get for my second period, so I had thirty minutes to come up with a lesson plan and no time to go make copies. So I said well, what do I need them to learn? And I looked around the room and said well, what in this room can I use to get them to learn it? And I came up with a lesson plan about audience and connotation and it ended up being a textbook example of how to do a lesson, the kind they teach you in those useless methods classes. Go figure.

So for the story last night as I drifted off to sleep I started really thinking about Valerie and what I need her to learn in order to get her to the end. What is her arc? Now what in this setting can get her there?

Most of my stories - probably most of anyone's stories, really - come from my own experiences. Over the weekend my shower head stopped working properly and reduced it's water pressure to the oomph of something with no oomph. I was all set to call the landlord, then I took the shower head off, inspected it and discovered that the filter had turned sideways and blocked the flow. I fixed it and turned on the shower and today my muscles are visible because the water rinsed all my skin off. And I celebrated by singing the Pussycat Dolls song "I don't need a man" repeatedly to the cat as I did a little dance. He was not alarmed. He's kind of used to that behavior from me.

So I thought about Valerie's insecurities and I thought about the joy I felt in independent problem solving and I realized that Valerie needed that feeling. Then I realized what she has to do. She has to solve a problem by herself. Then I have to figure out what in my setting provides her with that opportunity. I've got a few ideas.

And that's how plots are done. Yay, me.

Partners in crime and punishment

Writing Partner is clever. He threw my belief system back at me.

This week I finished the next chapter of our movie in chapters project and told him I wanted to send it to him to read. But he said he wants to wait until we're both done with all our pages before he reads anything, which I find kind of odd wince we're supposed to be writing together.

But whatever. We're both trying this calm acceptance and respect of each other's opinions so Emily doesn't hang up on anybody method. But I write fast and he's going to take forever, so instead of twiddling my thumbs I told him I'd like to go ahead and workshop the pages with Lead Actor.

Okay maybe I'm a little impatient. But I hate to see my material sit around and wait on people while I could be improving it.

Then Partner lets it slip that he's not really writing in chapters. His characters are just doing one long story.

Silence.

I'm not sure what to say since the coolest part about this was the film in chapters part. I mean, I haven't even given it a name. I just keep calling it "film in chapters." If it's not a film in chapters it suddenly becomes a less interesting story. The twists are gone. The idea of looking at our lives from someone else's perspective is gone. The concept of being a minor player in someone else's story is gone. Our theme turns to mush.

Not that it's not still a good story. But it becomes kind of an ordinary story when you take out the cool format. Like Memento. Without the backwards motion it's not nearly as good a story. Because it's not just what you tell, it's how you tell it.

So I tell Partner, what about when I said this was a film in chapters and you said okay?

He said, well, I told you that and then figured I'd write it my way and we can always change it later.

And I said, so you paid me lip service and ignored what I said?

And he said, no, I wanted to do a vomit draft like you always talk about. Get it down on paper, change it later.

Damn him. Who knew he was listening?

This is how it works: I'm supposed to do a vomit draft. He's supposed to do what I tell him.

Grumble.

So Emily is learning to give up a little control and trust in Partner. We kind of compromised on the phone and he agreed to shift some of his events around to accommodate the chapter format. And I agreed to wait and see what he writes before demanding that he change it. And he agreed to read the chapter I wrote so he can get a better idea of what I'm looking for. He seems to like me taking the helm on the ideas, which sits just fine with me since I like to be in charge. Somebody's got to.

Once again, we didn't yell at each other. Apparently my baby's all growds up.

Let's hear it for the boys

We're not going to talk about last night. It's way too soon for my broken heart.

Except to say that that second fight was so boring I was looking behind the guys to see what famous people I could spot. When guys beat the crap out of each other for money, they really should do it with more flare.

Anyway, on my way to the bar to watch the fight Writing Partner and I discussed the latest development on the script. I've been having a major conundrum with one of my chapters and desperately needed his help.

We have this character who needs to do something at the very end of the story. I love what she does and I love how our story ends. The problem is, I can't make it work. The thing the character does is great for the story but doesn't make a whole lot of sense in our modern world. There's just no reason the other characters would let her do what she does.

So I called up Partner and said Help!

And he made all kinds of suggestions about how we could change the whole story around.

And I said no, I like our story as it is. I just need to know how this character gets away with what she does. We agreed to think and talk later and then we hung up.

Five minutes later as I was headed into the bar he called again, excited. He had it. And when I heard the idea he was right. It solves all my logistical problems and at the same time helps give me a direction to go in during my chapter about the girl, which is something else I was having trouble getting my head around.

And we did this all without fighting. It was nice.

That's what's so fascinating about this project. We have these pieces. We know how the whole thing ends and begins and some of the parts in the middle but we have to figure out how to get from place to place. And we're doing it out of sequence so we have to make sure our characters stay consistent.

It's fun, and definitely the most original project I've ever been a part of. It's helpful that Lead Actor is also excited and supportive and willing to read lines with me and find me other actors when the time comes and perform my scene in his class where I can watch. It helps keep the fire under my ass to have these two guys to bounce ideas off of.

Hooray for my support network. Everybody needs one.

My other half part 2

Two people have recently asked me about my relationship with Writing Partner, so I'm going to go into more detail today about how we work together. And why.

It was not too long ago that I was asking people for advice on how to work with a partner, and here I am a few months later feeling pretty good about my experience.

Partner used to be Houseguest. Before that he was Date.

I went out one night with a friend of mine and her boyfriend. Boyfriend's friend joined us during the evening and he and I hit it off. He got my number and called me and we went to El Cholo for what turned out to be the best date I ever had. We ended up at my place in a lightsaber battle. That's not a metaphor. I actually own two toy light sabers and we battled.

You can say it. I'm the coolest girl ever. It's okay.

A few days passed and Date had some roommate problems and he needed to get out of his house. So I cooked him dinner and he crashed at my place. The next night he didn't want to go back so he crashed again. Then he just kept staying until a month later when he decided he wanted to move to a faraway land. That's how he became Houseguest.

And that's how I learned that although we like each other very much as people, an excellent date does not necessarily turn into an excellent relationship. We argued constantly, but he helped me figure some things out and I helped him make a few important decisions. And somehow in the middle of it all we started being creative together and Houseguest became Writing Partner.

Then he moved away and has yet to return.

A great plot for a romantic comedy, no? I've tried it and I'm just not a romcom girl. But if anybody wants to use it you can buy me a few beers and I'll give you more details and you can go write it yourself.

Since Partner lives so very far away we've done all of our writing over emails and phone calls. I usually start a story because I'm pretty clear about opening scenes. I'll write as much as I feel like and then email him the pages. We talk about it on the phone then he writes the next set and emails them back to me. Then we talk on the phone again.

Sometimes I'll make changes to what he wrote, sometimes I'll stick to my own stuff. We sort of play it by who has the strongest vision.

Even though we disagree about everything else there is to discuss, we tend to work pretty well with creative differences. I'll give an idea and he'll give an idea and after we explore why we feel the way we do we usually come to some third idea that is better than both of ours were.

I'm better at action, he's better at comedy. I'm better at dialogue, he's better at plot. I'm better at personal stories, he's better at sweeping themes. When we work together our scripts are always better than they are when we write apart. At least, that's the case with the three projects we've worked on so far.

The toughest part was that he didn't have MovieMagic, so I had to constantly reformat everything to and from RTF. He has it now, though, so things should get easier.

I'm really glad we only went on one date. If we'd been a couple I probably would have stabbed him before I realized how well we work together. Some things are just meant not to be.

My other half

Writing Partner has an audition Monday for a major national ad campaign. As in a company you've heard of. As in if he gets this job, you will see him on your television and maybe your local movie screen between the Fanta girls and the library kids.

He called me Friday to say he didn't think he wanted to do it because he didn't know if a commercial could really be a stepping stone to anything bigger.

This is the same guy who yelled at me for an hour at my stupidity because I didn't want to apply for a Writer's Assistant position on a major TV show. I gently reminded him of that conversation. Then I reminded him of Orlando Jones and the 7Up commercials. Then I reminded him how much he hates his current underpaying uncreative corporate job.

He's shaving his face and going to his audition just like he should. I hope he gets it.

This man is the most frustrating person I know. We argue constantly. He picks apart everything from my character descriptions to my eating habits to my love life and every time I disagree with him he rolls out the old quotes from Miguel Ruiz. I've taken to just hanging up every time he uses the phrase "You're taking it personally" when he tells me I'm weak and don't have the kind of brilliance that his film school education provided.

Ok he never actually says that. I kind of paraphrase a lot and exaggerate and that's when he gets frustrated. I'm certainly not innocent in our miscommunication. Our constant, aggravating miscommunication.

Sometimes I fear the world will find us curled up on the floor next to a fallen chandalier, both grabbing at a blood-stained script with our lifeless hands.

Partner and I are so incredibly different in our taste, too. He wants to write more dramatic emotional stuff or satirical comedies that explore controversial political issues. I want to write action stories that force people to make a decision between two horrible choices. He doesn't really appreciate my scripts and I don't really get his comedies.

But something happens when we work together. His strengths and his weaknesses completely balance mine out. He sees what I don't and I can fix what he doesn't know is wrong. And in the end he is a very good friend, a friend who I alternate between wanting to punch in the face and wanting to hug it out with all afternoon. Because he is the most honest and good person I know, dispite his bizarre desire to overanalyze everything.

Right now we're working on this series of chapters for our feature script. It's supposed to be a dark comedy. But his chapter is coming out way too goofy to be dark, and mine is coming out way too intense to be comedy. So when we're done we'll swap. I'll make his more serious and he'll punch up the humor in mine. And then we'll argue for three days.

Edited to add:

We just spent an hour in a massive fight where we decided we couldn't be friends anymore. He was mad because I said he should flesh out his characters more.

After an long email battle and me hanging up on him twice, we both took a breath and decided that we each inidividually overreacted. Then we workshopped our script some more and laughed and promised to take two days before responding to notes from now on.

We have an odd relationship.