Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Thoughts on the show: River Monsters

The Beefcake decided he wanted me to record River Monsters, an Animal planet show about "extreme angler" Jeremy Wade, who wanders around various rivery lands looking for giant fish he can catch. And about ten minutes in I was so over it. I told Beefcake "This is a fishing show. One of the reasons I like watching History Channel style shows is because they give me ideas for stories. There are no stories here."

Boy was I wrong. If you write horror movies, you should totally watch this show. It almost made me vomit up my stromboli.

When I went to take a shower, this was a show about some British dude trying to catch a big catfish. When I came back all clean on the outside, I was greeted with the most horrifying story I had really never wanted to know anything about.

You remember that story about the guy who was peeing in the Amazon and the fish swan up into his penis? Yeah, Jeremy found that guy, interviewed him, reenacted his penis fish swimming incident and found the fish in a jar. He also showed us exactly how the penis fish removal surgery worked, smiling the whole time.

What. The. Fuck.

Then he proceeded to talk about a guy who had been attacked by a school of fish who ate his organs and then swam out through tiny holes they made. He went into a lot of detail about how they do that on a regular basis to bigger fish.

So basically, grossest show ever. I'm giving River Monsters this new award I made up called The Fuck You I Just Ate Stromboli You Sick Fuck Award. I'm really not sure if that makes it a good show or the worst show ever.

1 comment:

  1. haha...EWWW. well, as for story ideas watching this show, there you go! This penis-fish incident would make for a good disturbing scene in a wacky, stupid comedy that has a Farelly Brothers style (Dumb and Dumber) OR in a dark, fucked up, funny way, a'la Coen Brothers style (think Fargo).


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