Tuesday, July 21, 2009

John August scene challenge


John August is sponsoring a scene challenge again. Action this time, so this one was easier for me than the usual. Here are the requirements:

The only required element is the villain: BRICKHOUSE. He’s big and he’s strong. It’s up to you to decide whether that means he can throw cars or entire skyscrapers.

As the scene opens, Brickhouse has just grabbed an ancient staff from The City Museum of Ubiquities. You can decide whether the staff is merely valuable or has some other attribute. It’s also your choice whether the action takes place in the museum, outside, or some other locale.

I noticed that the thread so far is loaded with testosterone. I injected a little estrogen into the room. Here's my entry, reposted. I changed one word I meant to change before I posted it to the contest and forgot because I'm a dummy.

[scrippet]
INT. MUSEUM GALLERY - DAY

Serene and cold in its emptiness, the room holds many of Town's most interesting artifacts. Plus one giant angry man, and one irritated woman.

BRICKHOUSE, 30, rages in the center of the room, waving around a really tacky but gigantic staff that probably cost about a thousand times what any reasonable human being would pay for it. Brickhouse is the kind of guy you automatically assume is a douche. He's 6'4" and about 300 lbs, most of it muscle that he's currently using to annoy the piss out of his girlfriend.

LILA, considerably smaller and cuter, stands far from the swinging staff with her arms crossed and her brow furrowed.

An OLD WOMAN pokes her head in, sees the rage, and flees.

LILA
Brick, put it down.

BRICKHOUSE
Stop telling me what to do!

LILA
You're being childish.

Brickhouse slams the staff into the wall.

LILA
Great. Now you've cause property damage.

BRICKHOUSE
That's what I do! I'm a madman!

LILA
Yes. Woohoo. Can we go now?

BRICKHOUSE
What? You bitched and moaned for like three weeks about coming to the museum. What's the matter? Museum's not boring enough for you anymore?

LILA
You're going to end up in- AHH!

A skylight smashes, raining down shards of pointy glass. Brickhouse flings the staff to deflect the glass, which doesn't work because of physics.

STRAIGHT ARROW shoots into the room and slams into the floor like a graceful aardvark. He leaps to his feet, puffs out his muscular chest and shakes his well-conditioned mane.

STRAIGHT ARROW
Unhand this lady, Brickhouse!

LILA
Actually I'm okay. We're just having an argument.

STRAIGHT ARROW
No worries, my dear, I'll deal with this monster!

LILA
Totally not necessary.

Brickhouse smirks and whips his staff around at Straight Arrow's head. Straight Arrow catches it and kicks out right into Brickhouse's chest, which knocks him back a millimeter.

BRICKHOUSE
HAH! You suck!

STRAIGHT ARROW
Shut up asshole!

He uses a bench to leap into the air, landing a roundhouse in Brickhouse's face. This causes the big man to stumble back and drop the staff, which rolls a turn or two toward Lila.

LILA
Really, guys. This is just silly.

The two men grab at each other and tumble to the floor, rolling and grabbing at each other's clothes.

BRICKHOUSE
Ow!

STRAIGHT ARROW
Stop grabbing my hair!

Lila picks up the staff and WHACKS them both on the backside.

STRAIGHT ARROW AND BRICKHOUSE
OOOOW!

Lila drops the staff.

LILA
Stop it, both of you. Brick. I'm hungry. I want a taco.

BRICKHOUSE
I don't have any cash.

LILA
Then we'll go by an ATM.

Brickhouse shrugs and they head toward the door. Straight Arrow stands, breathing heavy, hair an absolute mess.

STRAIGHT ARROW
Halt, fiend!

LILA
Dude, let it go.

They walk out of the gallery. Straight Arrow picks up the staff.

STRAIGHT ARROW
This thing is tacky.

FADE OUT.
[/scrippet]

3 comments:

  1. that was really funny, I enjoyed reading that!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous3:56 PM

    Hard to read without thinking of you and Beefcake as the characters. lol.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I like the line "...which doesn't work because of physics."

    ReplyDelete

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