Monday, July 05, 2010

Why isn't The Greatest American Hero a movie yet?

This weekend Syfy ran a marathon of The Greatest American Hero. I know I'm not the only person who flipped out, because that show was the shit in its day. I fucking loved this show as a kid. I mean, the theme song alone is worth the price of admission. My buddy and I almost wrecked his car once because we were speeding down a winding gravel road to get back to the cabin in time to see an old syndicated episode that was supposed to air that night.

In this time when studios are making movies out of board games and '80s TV shows, it upsets me that this deserving project gets no love, at least as far as I can tell. I haven't heard a peep about this in development.

So if I were an executive at a major studio I would make this my mission. And here's how I'd do it.

Nathan Fillion has said he would jump at the chance to play the lead, Ralph Hinkley, and of course he's perfect. He's terrific at playing a comedic character in straight fashion, which is just what this role would require.

Robert Culp's character, Bill Maxwell, is easy. Ever notice how much he looks and acts like Bruce Campbell? I mean it's eerie. So there you go. Nathan Fillion and Bruce Campbell.

For Connie Seleca's character, Pam Davidson, I think we need some ethnic diversity. This is the Greatest AMERICAN Hero, after all, and America ain't just about whitey. So I'd cast the hottest up-and-coming actress right now, Zoe Saldana. The character isn't a comedy role but she is smart and charming, so Saldana would fit it well.

I'd have Justin Timberlake remake the theme song to roll over the end credits.

Obviously you'd have to add some edge to this story because typical '80s camp wouldn't fly in 2010, but you could have tons of fun playing with this. You could really play with the idea how power doesn't have to change who you are at heart.

I would probably cut off my little toe for the opportunity to write this.

You hear me, Studio People? You get on this now please. Shoot me an email and we'll get this party started.


  1. Anonymous11:46 AM

    Don't forget it was also a launching pad for the young Michael Pare. I hate to admit it, but I really enjoyed Philadelphia Experiment, Streets of Fire, and Eddie and the Cruisers. Guilty pleasures one and all.

    Perhaps Justin Bieber could play the leader of the students... he could definitely sing the theme song and, perhaps, take a shot at Pare's raspy voice delivery. ;-)

  2. They've been trying to make it for years, actually. There've even been a few scripts floating around. So far, no traction.

  3. I couldn't find anything on it. Who's got it?

  4. It's been on and off at Disney for the last decade. Ryan Phillipe pre-divorce was in play and I believe so was Justin Timberlake a year or so ago.

  5. Blech. Those are terrible choices. Just because the original actor was blond doesn't mean the movie actor has to be blond.

  6. i talked to a guy who was pitching on the script years and years ago. his idea sticks with me to this day. oh man. his ending was so great. *spoiler for a movie that won't happen* the villain had the greatest american hero on the ropes. was really gonna trounce him. when all of a sudden, the greatest chinese hero shows up. and the greatest french hero. then the greatest brazillian hero. all the rest of earth's heros. who hadn't misplaced their instruction manuals. and as one planet united, they fend off the villain. holy crap. awesome, right?
    anyway. that won't happen. prolly.

  7. Oh I can see that. That would indeed be pretty cool.

  8. All I did was watch TV in the 80's (where were my parents?!), but I don't remember this show. What the hell was it about?

  9. Charlie Rane1:13 PM

    I think Fillion's a bit too cool for Ralph. Paul Rudd, on the other hand, would be great, as he is not too goofy(like Steve Carrell) but not too badass(Fillion). Fillion is, frankly, a lot closer to Culp's character. As an actor, he has more in common with Campbell. In fact, Brisco County, Jr. could have been convincingly portrayed by Fillion. And the wheel goes round and round...

  10. Anonymous10:54 PM

    sounds great. I agree this movie should be made, maybe if the a-team makes 100 million then it would get the green light.

  11. Anonymous8:14 AM

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