Friday, December 17, 2010

Those crazy Thais

I was just watching the Thai film Chocolate. Just the other day someone else told me women couldn't star in action films, so after seeing this movie I've decided to move to Thailand where women are equal and respected by all.

I liked that the film went old school Asian martial arts method. It front loaded the plot so the second half of the movie just jumped from one action sequence to the next. No slow moments to fix stupid plot shit - the exposition was done on the run, my favorite kind of exposition.

But I'll tell you what I liked the most. The girl didn't fight like a dude. She fought like a girl, a badass girl. That's the trick with female action leads - let them be women while they kick ass. Stop trying to make them tiny dudes.

One day the American film industry will figure this out. I'm doing my best to make it happen.

As the movie ended, the really baffling part took over. At the end of the film they did that whole Jackie Chan look at all our injuries on set bit, but this this makes Jackie Chan look like a pussy. Those fucking Thai stunt guys, man. They are crazy. You know, when the stunt goes exactly like it's supposed to and people still end up bleeding profusely from the skull, you may need to rethink your safety precautions. There's a point at which dudes are supposed to fall from a three story height and land on concrete, and they do exactly that. No mats. No movie magic. Naturally, they sustained some serious injuries.

I used to know a guy who liked to jump off buildings for fun and stun gun himself in the eye because it made people laugh, but now I'm thinking maybe he's not so hard core. He needs to move to Thailand and get some street cred.

10 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You mustn't have seen enough Jackie Chan films, because there is nothing that can make him look like a pussy. Not even him dressed up in a vagina costume.

    We're talking about the guy who dropped SIXTY feet to the ground, with pretty much nothing to slow his fall...except the ground. And he did the take over and over again.

    Oh, and we're also talking about the guy who leaped off a balcony and slid down a 100 foot metal pole, ripping down Christmas lights and consequently shocking himself so badly, he burned off all the skin on his hands -- and all this BEFORE he crashed through a glass ceiling and into the floor, thereby dislocating his pelvis. Yeah, Jackie Chan fucking dislocated his pelvis.

    See: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cI1AwZN4ZYg

    I rest my case.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Interesting thing about Chocolate: the producers knew they wanted to create a female martial arts star, but couldn't find one who was both really cute and massively skilled... so they found one who was cute, and had some skill and lots of potential - then trained her hardcore for two years

    ReplyDelete
  4. Omg Chocolate yummy. Topped our rotation list (movies unlikely seen to share with friends) for a while, always well received. The incredible choreography by same guy who did Ong-Bak. Two other Thai films that come to mind you might enjoy if haven't seen, Iron Ladies and Tears of Black Tiger. Pang Brothers did a lot of work with Thai film industry, Eye, Recycle, Bangkok Dangerous all entertained.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Laura that's cool - I didn't know that.

    Nicholas, I've seen a lot of Jackie Chan films. I'm telling you, there was serious carnage on this one.

    Atlanta - I was glad they embraced Ong Bak as an obvious influence in this film.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Emily, sorry to change the subject but did your lawyer friend ever get back to you on the Fox lawsuit?

    ReplyDelete
  7. She started to, but then she had some crazy medical shit happen to her, so I felt like an asshole bringing it up. I'll mention it to her next week. I wasn't sure anyone still cared.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I tried the same thing with a lawyer acquaintance but he never got back to me.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Chocolate was such an awesome movie. You make a very good point about "let girls be girls" while fighting. One of my female friends, a Marine, said she'd never met a female Marine who could do 10 pull-ups becuase our arms are NOT built the same as men's arms.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous8:08 AM

    Hey Emily,

    I got two copies of Chocolate given to me for Christmas. Okay I sneaked a peek.

    Looking forward to it.

    Is there a sequel?

    Great post, btw.

    Tyler

    ReplyDelete

Please leave a name, even if it's a fake name. And try not to be an asshole.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.