Thursday, December 04, 2008

I love zombies thiiiiiiiiiiiis much

I get why George Romero does it.

While I'm waiting for today's writers group meeting so I can get notes on Not Dead Yet's newest incarnation, I'm supposed to be thinking about the other script on my docket: Fear of Clowns.

My usual creative process is to lie awake at night and tell myself the story of my screenplay until I fall asleep. Then the next night I start from where I left off and build from there until I fall asleep again. I get the best ideas this way, while I'm not trying too hard, just attempting to entertain myself until I drift away.

So last night I lay down and started to think about my little Cholo and his white friend and dogs and guns and muggings and all the other things I've got going on in my newest script, but I didn't want to. It's not that I don't like the story, because I do, but maybe I'm not sure yet how to fix the fundamental problems so I just don't want to deal with it.

But really I blame the zombies.

All I want to do all the time is think about my zombie story. Maybe that's why it's so easy to go back and revise it - I want to revise it forever and ever until the real zombie apocalypse begins. It probably won't be so much fun to think of zombies then, but at least I'll really know my game plan.

This is very dangerous, I realize. Not the impending zombie invasion, I mean, although you really should prepare. No, I mean that I just want to keep working on this script forever. It really does need work - I know that. But at some point it has to stop. I can just see myself at future studio meetings...

"What if the Bratz find this cave outside their high school and it's filled with hybernating zombies!"


"Look, Mr. Eastwood, I know this is supposed to be a story about a man who's just too stubborn to live so he goes out seeking vengeance on his dead wife's killers, but what if he is actually a zombie hybrid? What if his wife is actually a zombie and he wants to get revenge on all the zombies for destroying his marriage? Eh? Eeeeeh? Think about it, babe."


"Okay so Will Smith is the last man on Earth and there are these CGI zombie creatures that want to kill him but he and his dog try to save them by curing their disease and eating a shitload of Barilla pasta sauce. Doesn't that sound awesome?"

I think I have a problem. Is there a zombieholics anonymous program I can join?

My name is Emily and I like zombies.


  1. So a bunch of serial killers are executed, and their bodies are carted away for medical research.

    One of the grad students on the research team decides to do a some unauthorized experimentation on his own. On the weekends, you know, when the lab is shut down.

    A few stem cells, an engineered virus or two, some polymer chemistry. Now the dead serial killers are alive again. Kind of.

    One problem. Their faces ain't as pretty as they used to be. Not that their faces were ever pleasant to look at, but now, well something's got to be done if they're ever going to go out in public.

    (You know where I'm going with this.)


    Everyone loves a clown, right? (Well, almost everybody. I can think of one person who doesn't.)

    So our zombie clowns, having overpowered the foolish grad student, are now on the loose and seeking jobs with the local circus.

    And they're hungry. Really, really hungry.


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