Tuesday, December 30, 2008

New year's resolutions


2008 was good to me. I started out the year completely depressed and confused and tired. And now stuff is better.

In 2008 I made the same resolution I've made for the past 5 years - find representation. And I didn't.

I didn't because that was a stupid resolution.

I also started off the year with my personal life in shambles. Know why? Every time I was single I would go to a party or a screening or a whatever thinking, "Oh I wonder if there will be boys there." Somewhere in early 2008 I started working toward personal zen. I began to look at myself in the mirror and smile every morning. I finished a new script I felt good about, I worked on new short scripts, I decided to work on being the best writer I could be.

So in late June when I was invited to a party where I knew there would be writers I thought, I hope I meet some cool people to talk about movies with. The thought of meeting a boy in no way entered my mind. I dressed all pretty on the off chance there would be somebody there who could help my writing career.

Look, you gotta use what you got. If the curves get people to come talk to you, you gotta use 'em. Then you keep 'em there with your witty dialogue.

Anyway, I got there and what do you know, I met a boy. Good thing I wore my fancy backyard barbecue dress.

That is a dress I wear to backyard barbecues, not a dress made out of barbecue.

I digress.

The point here is, I was concentrating on the wrong thing. Instead of making myself happy and healthy, I was trying to will a man to come love me. And instead of breaking down my scripts and looking full-on at what I needed to change, I willed the agent to come to me.

Fuck the agent.

What I got instead was help. I got a new friend? Mentor? Stalker? who has been helping me. (just kidding about the stalker thing, buddy. Please don't stop giving me notes. I'll even send you those pictures you asked for.)

I started listening more carefully to my writing group. I started paying more attention to what I can copy from a good spec script. I started letting my ego take a break and I released my fear of suckage so I could replace it with confidence of nonsuckage.

I'm not at the nonsuckage yet, but I'm getting closer.

One day in June a boy asked me out and I was ready to go because I was good happy and healthy and I didn't need any extra work.

My resolution for this year is IF an agent or manager or producer or director or pool boy shows an interest in my script, I can confidently give it out and know that it and I are ready.

I hope you all find what you're looking for this year. Thanks for reading. I'll try to be clever enough to make you stick around.

9 comments:

  1. Great stuff! Been lurking for a while, but you've forced me to come out into the open with this post - making similar resolutions myself. I applaud your priorities and I wish you success. You have a unique and engaging voice - I'm sure the work you've put into your scripts reflect that. I'll be sticking around.

    Cheers - Alexa

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  2. Great post. Wearing a dress made of barbeque would have definitely got you noticed but I agree wholeheartedly about once you get your crap in order-survival job, fitness, finances, a lot of other things fall into place. Hope '09 brings more good things (including that agent).

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  3. Oh, we'll still be around, if for no other reason than the entertaining stories that make up your life... :-)

    Happy New Year.

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  4. I love your blog because you're an aspiring screenwriter AND a female screenwriter on top of that, and you have good input/advice that helps me, too.

    I didn't find agent rep this year, either, but I ain't worried about it anymore. I am focused on finishing my novel, since many people say it's WAY easier to get an agent for your book than it is for screenplays. Ugh, but totally true.

    I hope 2009 will be a great year for you.

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  5. the dress was, like, wow...but the salmon added the magic!

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  6. Thank you guys. Really. You're awesome.

    I feel like we're all on this train together.

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  7. All the best to you for this year. Sounds like it will be a great one.

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  8. I think that's great. All of it.

    Once you have a fantastic script, they'll be knocking down each other to knock down your door.

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  9. I like it.

    New Year's Resolutions are silly, because if you're actually going to cause a meaningful change in your life, you won't wait until New Year's to start trying. Yours, on the other and, has nothing to do with the New Year - you're just using this opportunity to re-presence yourself to what you're already doing.

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