Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Sometimes I don't pay attention

Yesterday I decided to query a few places just for the fuck of it. A month ago I got a new copy of The Hollywood Representation Directory and I went through it, page by page, examining each entry and highlighting the ones with potential. I even examined the agent list in the major companies and picked the person whose name sounded like they got the least submissions. I'm guessing the least Jewish, most feminine sounding person probably gets fewer people begging to be her clients. I base this on no science whatsoever.

So yesterday I went through my notes and rewrote a query letter, then I did a few online submissions using a new and improved logline. My problem is, last time I queried this script, before I made all the great new changes, I kinda didn't write down which places I queried. I've got kind of a photographic memory so I''m hoping when I see the names and addresses and websites I remember that I wrote to them already. And this time I noted the ones I was querying on my post-it notes that were marking the pages with the viable agents and managers.

One time when I was first starting out I accidentally queried the same lady twice, and you would have thought I ate her cat and vomited him back up on her face. She had some anger issues to work out, I think.

Okay so here's the thing I did.

If you go to the Endeavor agency website they give you clear instructions on how to submit your material. It's a lot of work, but Endeavor is huge so it would totally be worth it. They want your resume, a three-page treatment, and the first ten pages of your screenplay mailed to an address they list elsewhere on the site.

I spent the next hour reading treatments and copying the format and telling my story in three pages. Should I include the minor characters? Should I layer in some dialogue? How much do I push the tension? Oh I left out the sex scene - maybe I should put that in?

I went through the whole thing and then got a draft that satisfied me. Then I wrote a resume. I've had the same job for 5 years now so I haven't written a resume in ages, but it's not like it's hard. I like listing "flute" right next to "kickboxing" in the Special Skills category.

So I had everything together and clicked on the "Contact Us" link so I could get the address to send my materials. And the address was in Toronto.

I looked at my Hollywood Representation Directory, which clearly listed a 90210 address. I looked back at this Canadian thing. I was perplexed. Why would they make you send your material to Canada? And does that cost extra in postage?

I thought about sending it to Beverly Hills anyway, but the website angrily states that they will not consider anything that doesn't follow these specific directions and I don't want to get yelled at again by some pissed of assistant with nothing better to do. So I slowly began to copy the address onto my query letter.

Then I noticed the website I was on.


I am retarded. I was trying to apply for an agency in Canada.

The American website offers no such demands on your queries. They don't even give any information about querying, so I guess they just want the old fashioned kind. Actually they probably don't want any kind.

So I hope somebody somewhere wants a treatment for Not Dead Yet some day. Otherwise I could have spent that hour of my life playing Mariokart.


  1. lol @ your least Jewish, feminine name standards. you crack me up. seriously, though. I feel safer sending out queries to female agents and to agents with "exotic" sounding names that sound either Hindi, Arabic, Persian, or whatever.


  2. Anonymous6:48 AM

    so, what's wrong with sending queries to Endeavor Canada?

    Are there guidelines stating you must reside in Canada to receive representation? Ya never know...

    Kinda like when Robert Frost couldn't get love in the US so he went to Europe and found lots of love. Then returned and everyone here loved him. Sch. Silly Americans.

    (And I'm one of 'em).

    verification word for today: goveigni

  3. Since I live in LA where there are thousands of agents, it just wouldn't make sense to go to Canada for representation when all the deals are made here.


Please leave a name, even if it's a fake name. And try not to be an asshole.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.