When your parents don't approve

Whew. Last week was bananas. I had no idea that posting that article on Scriptshadow was going to create such a shitstorm.

But buried in the comments was this question from Astan:


This morning my folks (mom) said to me that "writing films, doing this film thing, trying to do any business, trying to get some big hit was all a fantasy. I'm living in a fantasy world." Then she implied I need to wake up and give up fantasies altogether.

How would you feel if your folks or someone important to you said something like that to you?


And I think this comment deserves some attention because I bet a lot of people can relate to this.

Personally, I say FUCK IT.

In the beginning, my mom was totally against me coming out to LA. She believed I should be a teacher, that Hollywood was a pipe dream, that working in movies was a waste of my talent.

I told her I really wish she felt differently, then I moved to Hollywood. I taught school - that made her happy - and in the meantime I just kept working on scripts. I sent her my finished drafts. She'd shrug - my work isn't her cup of tea. She didn't change her mind.

Then I was working on a period piece about a time in which she's an expert, so I called her up and asked her to help with research. She really liked that idea. Then she started going out with her girlfriends and telling them the story I was writing. Then she started giving me story notes. Then objecting to plot points I wanted to change.

Then I put her now-deceased best friend into one of my scripts, and she loved it. Then I got repped. I told her - and this is true - that the character based on her friend is one of the reasons people loved the script so much.

Now, she tells everybody who will listen that her daughter is writing movies.

In the beginning, I think parents are concerned because screenwriting is such an insecure business. They'd much rather you not going into something that crushes your soul and pays you nothing. Nobody plans for their kid to be a starving artist.

But everybody loves movies, except for crazy people. Non-crazy people, even the ones who don't watch movies that much, really enjoy feeling like a part of the process. Make your mom a part of the process.

I imagine this won't work for everybody's mom, but you can try. I bet she's got a story she thinks should be a movie. Let her give you ideas. You don't have to do anything with them, but tell her how much you enjoy her input.

My mom now sends me newsclippings about stories in the local paper that she thinks I should write about. Every now and then she'll hit on something.

Sometimes it takes some time for parents to come around. Sometimes they never do. Either way, live your life for you, not for them. They'll either get over it, or they won't.