Monday, August 14, 2006

My Jordan's name was Steve


There is a Jordan Catalano in every high school. The hot, broody guy who never gets upset and either plays sports or guitar. He drives a car that he knows how to fix if it breaks down, he has lots of hair that falls casually in his face when he's thinking too hard, he smokes, he knows how to lean against lockers just so, and he doesn't give a damn about your authority when he wants to skip school to go to the beach and surf. And every single girl in the school, whether she admits it or not, is madly in love with Jordan Catalano.

Oh sure, you can tell yourself that Brian Krakow is the guy. He's nice, he's funny and he really gets you. You don't have to work too hard with Brian. There's no sense of danger, no reason to worry because Brian will always be there. Nobody else appreciates how awesome he is, and really, he is awesome. I swear. He's got personality, you just gotta see it. And nice eyes. He has nice eyes. I'm not kidding.


Most of us try Brian Krakow. Many of us end up marrying Brian Krakow. Hell, you might actually be Brian Krakow, and that's okay because Brian wins in his own way. He's in this for the long haul, when the girl finally gets tired of chasing Jordan around and getting hurt when he doesn't emote enough to suit her delicate needs. Because Jordan's not an emoter. That's why he had to get poor old Brian to write his love letters. But that doesn't mean every girl doesn't still want Jordan Catalano.

It doesn't matter how many girls he's cheated on or how many hearts he's broken, or how many times he's patted you on the head and told you what a great sister you'd make. One of these days, Jordan will turn around and see you and realize you're beautiful and change his ways. He'll be the Warren Beaty to your Annette Benning and you will live happily ever after driving around in his car looking cool and making all the popular cheerleading bitches jealous.

Until you're in your mid-to-late twenties. Then Jordan Catalano is kind of a loser. But a boy who used to be Jordan Catalano - that's hot stuff. The reformed bad boy who still maintains some of that residual coolness, the responsible possible father of your children who admits he's made some bad decisions in the past but is so glad he cleaned up so he could meet you and make you his woman. That guy is hot.

The truth is, we never stop wanting Jordan Catalano. We'll always regret not having him, and getting him as an adult is kind of a conquest in itself. That's what makes him such a great character. My So-Called Life nailed every high school girl's dreamboat - hot, broody, nonchalant and a little bit stupid. Poor Brian never stood a chance.

6 comments:

  1. Anonymous1:36 AM

    I'm sensing there's a very specific reason you posted this...

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  2. It stemmed from a conversation a friend and I were having about dates we've been on lately. We ended up referring to our dates as "Jordan Catalanos" or "Brian Krakows" and I thought that was interesting. Sort of an MTV archetype.

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  3. Anonymous11:47 AM

    Oh, man... love your post. Sooooooo true. Ah, Jordan, where are you?!
    Scribe

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  4. Anonymous3:02 PM

    So as the friend from the initial conversation, I thought I'd chime in. It started as a random conversation but I'm actually becoming a bit obsessed with the theory. It repeats in tv. Dawson was Brian, and Pacey was the reformed Jordan that Joey ended up with. (I know I keep ending with prepositions.) Even on 90210, you had Brandon as the good boy and Dylan as the bad boy. I'm sure there's more. And the Jordans are always brunets--the whole light/dark, good/evil archetype maybe? All I know is that it hit me today that my ex, the guy I wasted 5 years on, was the quintessential Jordan, even at age 34, and I never realized it! Now, if only I could find the reformed Jordan, or the perfect Jordan/Brian blend....

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  5. I definitely think you're onto something there. For Buffy: Angel is Jordan, Xander is Brian. Spike is an older Jordan who seems kind of losery until Buffy dies, then she sees him as reformed Jordan.

    That doesn't really work for Veronica Mars, though. And on the OC, the Brian is more popular than the Jordan. So I guess it doesn't work on every show, but it sure does work a lot in real life.

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  6. Anonymous10:54 PM

    I grant you your opinion but for me it has always been Brian.

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