What could be worse?

My school, for all its violence and disfunction, has some really cool features. One of those is the presence of the culinary class, which every Wednesday and Thursday serves a three-course meal to teachers for five bucks each in a room set up as a restaraunt. Last week they served a Fall menu - Cornish game hen and stuffing, apple streudel and salad. I know. You'd be more willing to put up with kids throwing things at your head too if you could have Cornish game hen for five bucks two days a week.

As we were chowing down a teacher complained that the stuffing was underseasoned. "There's nothing worse than bland stuffing," she said. I stared pensively into space for a second and said, "Raping Clowns."*

Everybody at the table looked up at me, puzzled.

"You know," I said. "Clowns that rape. You said there was nothing worse than bland stuffing. I was just throwing that out there."

The other teachers at the table did indeed agree that raping clowns are worse than bland stuffing. It made them bitch a lot less about lunch after that.

"You're such a writer," said the original teacher as she yanked a piece of hen from the bone and shoved it in her mouth.

That got me thinking: that sounds like a challenge to me. So here it is, everybody. What else is worse than bland stuffing? Go.



*I deny any and all similarities to Rape Bear. I find clowns much more frightening and came up with the idea of a raping clown entirely on my own. Please don't sue.