Saturday, June 23, 2007

How to save The Lot


On the Lot is barely hanging on.

The ratings for the show are abysmal, but there are ways to save it if the producers would stop thinking like executives and start thinking like the majority of the American public. All they do each week is show short films you could also see online without commercials or judges.

Are you listening, Mark Burnett and Steven Spielberg?

Most people do not care about short films unless they contain celebrities. So first things first, bring in guest actors who are of some small notoriety, actors who have made a healthy career in television or small film roles.

Or how about a one-on-one meeting with the guest judge, the way American Idol does it? A talented director sits down with each of the contestants and gives them advice on technique. To go with that idea you could have little snippets of educational stuff each week. Like, what is a focus pull or how did this one director in this particular film achieve this particular look. Everybody loves to know how things work.

People also love behind the scenes stuff, especially if it's filled with turmoil. Show us casting sessions, fights on set, outtakes, anything that lets us understand the process. I mean, the show's called "On the Lot". Shouldn't they occasionally show the directors on the damn lot?

One thing that makes America's Next Top Model and American Idol successful even after the audition stage is the challenges. Each week contestants are giving some zany task and we all want to tune in to see how they handle the pressure. But On the Lot just tells the contestants, go make a movie.

How boring is that? In the beginning it looked like they were going to do weekly challenges when they started with a pitch competition and then made the film makers split a short three ways with assigned locations and actors. They gave us behind the scenes glimpses and a chance to think about what we would have done had we been given this assignment. Then the show deteriorated into a weekly showcase of so-so short films.

And judges, be consistent in the criticism. They gave Marty, my personal favorite of the film makers, a hard time for "failing to tell a story" because his main characters didn't have names and praised Kenny for making what amounted to a self-indulgent music video. And vomit is okay but pee isn't, and farting is okay when a man does it but not when a woman does it. And Gary Marshall continues to act like he's really rooting for a woman to come in second.

Somebody put me in charge of this show please. I'll fix it.

3 comments:

  1. "Most people do not care about short films unless they contain celebrities. So first things first, bring in guest actors who are of some small notoriety, actors who have made a healthy career in television or small film roles."

    That's a really good idea.

    The drama behind the scenes is non-existant.

    I was trying to convince my girlfriend (who is also a writer/director and a damn good one), to apply. She is neurotic as hell and can never be happy especially when she is succeeding.

    I tried to convince her that if we both applied to season two and said that we were boyfriend and girlfriend who are extremely competitive with one another that we might actually get on, because there could be good television there.

    In all seriousness, one of our biggest concerns as a couple isn't one of us failing, but one of us succeeding. We're both the type that would resent the other for it. But then tries harder, so we kind of make each other better ... but not without a lot of yelling and crying.

    Neither of us want to be actors or on television, which is why neither of us will apply lol. Not that it matters. There won't be a season 2.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I agree with you, Emily!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I just watched the latest episode on Tivo tonight... What a disappointment.

    Ugh, I have so much to say about the Lot too - might as well blog about it tomorrow.

    ReplyDelete

Please leave a name, even if it's a fake name. And try not to be an asshole.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.