Friday, January 02, 2009

Don't get married on TV

I love watching wedding shows. Perhaps it's my sense of Schadenfreude, but I love when it's pretty obvious these two people should not be legally binding their lives in any way whatsoever, much less in an expensive, televised ceremony.

There was this one episode of Rich Bride, Poor Bride where this dude who was clearly gay took over planning for the entire thing, even to the point where he sketched out what he thought her dress should look like. In the interview a few months after the wedding it was pretty clear the bride had just given up and started comforting herself with food. On another episode the groom tried to join the bridal party to pick out the wedding dress because he was convinced she would spend too much money on a dress and he wanted budget approval. He also decided they should only spend $200 on a cake for 240 people.

Then there's Bridezillas. Those ladies are nuts. Sometimes you can just see how miserable the men are since they stopped fighting and learned to do as they're told.

So aside from stoking my fear of commitment, these shows also do an excellent job of how to show, not tell. "I love him!" they all say as they proceed to suck the life out of the man. "I want to be with her forever!" he says as he tells her she's ungrateful if she decides to leave the kitchen. It's what we do, not what we say, that tells people who we really are.

The most depressing was probably the time the girl obviously wanted the man for his massive amount of money. When he took her to a fancy dinner out and showed her the beautiful platinum band he'd bought for her wedding ring, she threw it at him and called him an idiot for not buying her diamonds.

After she walked out of the restaurant, leaving him with the bill and her rejected ring, he turned to the camera and said through his fallen face, "It's better than being alone for the rest of your life."


Wedding shows are a good way to analyze the human condition, I think. And sometimes you can get actual wedding tips too. But mostly you can watch people spend a fortune to prepare for their future divorce.


  1. hahaha!!! I LOVE WATCHING BRIDEZILLAS!!! It makes me hate the human race even more... lmao.

    god, that episode about the diamond ring is just so freakin' sad. I hope that ungrateful bitch gets hit by a car or something. It's really shocking how selfish some people can be. A diamond ring? Why the hell are some people so obsessed with such a little sparkly stone?

    I've just started watching the new season of "The Bad Girls Club," too and it's hilarious, too.

  2. Man, that whole thing about "it's better than being alone"? NO! Being alone is FAR BETTER! I wouldn't touch that chick with a ten-foot pole, unless it had a barbed spearhead!

    I'm really looking forward to the new Ashton Kutcher show on ABC - I forgot the name, but it's about a beauty contest of sorts a la "America's Top Model" where the competitors don't know they're also being judged on their INNER beauty...


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