Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Paranoia? Not if it's true.

As I left the meeting with the producers of the project on which I am currently hard at work, they said they'd send me a one-sheet of the idea as we talked about it in the room. Weeks went by and I didn't get the one-sheet but I figured no big deal, I know what I want to do and they told me to run with it anyway and they wouldn't have given me the task if they didn't like what I could do.

Eventually I asked them if they could send it and they said it's not really that big a deal, it's just what we talked about and hey send over what I've already got so they can give me some feedback. I figured cool, if it's what we talked about in the room no big deal. I did go a really clear direction with their idea but I'm pretty sure they'll like it. I sent over what I had.

But then I got the one-sheet five minutes later and there were several things that were completely different from what we talked about in the room and I was all a panic that maybe now they were going to hate me. And then I remembered this comment one of them made about Not Dead Yet: "I really liked some of the decisions you made" at which point I immediately wondered if she meant the decisions I actually made or the advice I followed from a writer who guided me. What if she liked his decisions and I'm really a hack who got lucky and they hate my idea omg.

I haven't heard back yet, so naturally I'm convinced that they're just waiting for the right moment to fire me, probably after they've invited me to stand on a stage in front of a bunch of people I admire and then dump a bucket of blood on my head and laugh at me. And then they might stab me to death with a spoon covered in dog poop. Then rape my corpse. Then let a monkey rape my corpse.

In the meantime I continue to work on the treatment just in case they don't plan to rape my corpse.


  1. You'll KICK ASS.

    You've got what it takes.

    Know that.


  2. Thanks, doll. I hope they think so too. I've gone from waiting for anyone to notice me to waiting for people to remember me. Does that still happen to you?

  3. Also I should add, in case they see this, that I think they're fabulous and I love their idea and am excited to write it and please don't stab me with dog poop spoons.

  4. Sure... I get REMEMBERED all the time.

    I'm the guy that pissed them off.

    Not really recommended when starting out.


  5. Note to self: Do not be remembered for pissing people off.

    Uh oh.

  6. Normal writer's paranoia...

    Except for the monkey corpse rape thing.

    People would rather work with you and exploit you for as long as they can and get as much work as they can out of you and have more meetings where they get you to make the changes that give them exactly what they want...

    Then the whole pigs blood at the prom thing happens.

    They use you *THEN* abuse you, not the other way around.

    Get used enough and you have a career.

    - Bill

  7. When do you stop letting them use you? Ever? It's not ever is it?

  8. When you start directing/producing/show-running.

  9. Establish EVER early.

    Or else.

    But it must be done as deftly if not MORE deftly than handling your kids in school who want to beat the shit out of each other.


  10. Oh man. I usually solve that problem by saying "Beat each other up outside AFTER class, guys," and then by the end of class they've forgotten why they were pissed.

    I'll try to figure out how to apply that in meetings.

  11. 1. Don't Panic.
    2. Producers do this all the time. I got hired because the guy before me couldn't or wouldn't take notes from the producer. Then he'd get upset because my notes would reveal how much he would change the idea in his head between meetings. he'd get upset, I'd show him my great notes and he'd say, well, that was what i said, not what I meant and it was hilarious. in a painful way that ended up with a check so that's okay.
    3. Don't PANIC. Just check in every other day, let 'em know you're waiting.
    4. What the hell is a dog poop spoon?

  12. You're talking to producers too?!

    Maybe it's gonna be the year of the bad ass lady!! Give me details about this!!! :)

  13. Can't give too many details. Just a project that I'm working on in the vein of Pirates of the Caribbean. I went to a meeting, I got the thing. It was pretty cool. And yes, dammit. It is the year of the badass lady. I'm so glad your thing is panning out too.


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