Chronological thoughts I had while watching this week's episode of Lost on Hulu

Why didn't my DVR record the number two show on my list of shows? (Doctor Who, in case you were wondering) Fuck if I know. It ain't talking because I beat it with a stick for its insolence.

Spoiler Warnings for "The Candidate," obviously.

A plane? Oh for a plane you totally need a pilot. But a submarine, fuck it. My twelve year old nice could pilot that thing blindfolded. It's practically a goddamn Tonka truck.

Actually it would have been awesome if they got on the sub and instead of finding a captain inside they sat there and stared at the controls and Sawyer was all "Does anybody know how to operate this?" and the Hurley piloted them straight to the bottom of the sea and the show ended with everybody drowning. And then Charlie was down there playing "You All Everybody" on an endless loop.

I am proud to confess to two things. I have ALWAYS been with Jack. Even when he made huge ridiculous mistakes I was all about the Jackster. And ever since he smiled that creepy tangerine smile in the pilot episode, I have not trusted John Lock for one fucking second. Granted, this is a fake John Locke, but still. Jack rules. John is a smokemonster.

Hey way to go Sayid, not completely farbotz after all.

I was really rooting for Frank. Poor Frank.

So I guess Jinn doesn't give a shit that he has a daughter who would like a parent, huh? I'd be pissed if the Beefcake died on principal. Really super pissed. And if I was Jinn's kid I'd be like, Thanks Dad, I maybe could have known you but you decided to die because it sounded heroic and shit even though Mom would probably have preferred you live and tell me about her instead of both dying so I don't really have any idea who you are. Why did you guys even have a baby in the first place? I've clearly never been a priority in your lives. And while we're at it, if Mom had stayed here in the states you might both be alive. But cool, now you're at the bottom of the ocean and here I am, another Asian orphan in the foster care system. Way to go. Excellent parenting.

I see no sign of Charlie at the bottom of the ocean. I think that was a lost opportunity.

Terry O'Quinn is proof that sometimes you have to wait a while before you land the job of a lifetime.

I'm not sure the sideways flashes aren't kind of a waste of precious Lost time, but the parts on the island are still awesome. I'm excited for the final showdown.