The Awesome Award

As you know it's Oscar day. I've got a couple of people coming over to watch it with me. I'm making finger food but first I have to go back to the store to get the damn cream cheese I forgot yesterday.

Anyway, I'm not going to make predictions because I have learned from posting on Scott the Reader's weekly box office prediction posts that I am lousy at making predictions.

I haven't seen most of the films this year and I've only read a few of the scripts anyway, so I'm in no position to judge.

However.

I feel like we are missing a category at the Oscars. That category is Most Awesome Film Ever Since the Last Awesome Film.

What defines an Awesome Film? You're watching it and you think to yourself: this is the most awesome thing I have ever seen.

You can do it in a Butthead voice too. That makes it cooler.

Payback deserved and Awesome Award. The Transporter deserved an Awesome Award. But not the second one. The second one was crap. But the first one was Awesome.

This year I bequeath Emily Blake's Awesome Award to Shoot 'Em Up.

I watched it last night and have decided it's the best movie ever since the last time I said that, which was like two weeks ago when I went to see In Bruges.

It's riddled with ridiculously cool and impossible action stunts that just flat-out rock. Plus, there's a baby and a hooker and everybody's got a little hinted backstory that lets us know there's something else under the surface but we don't have time to go there because we're too busy shooting people while fucking freefalling in a skydive.

And the carrot thing. The first scene of Clive Owen's character you see him chowing on a carrot (which I especially loved since the badass in Game Night also eats carrots). But it's not just a character quirk, it also serves a purpose. He uses a carrot as a weapon like eight times in the movie. I didn't know you could shove a carrot through the back of a guy's skull but apparently you can.

See? Awesome.

This year two of the top contenders at the Oscars are blood baths, but I still feel like there should be a separate category for those that manage to take out all that sappy meaning shit and leave with all awesome, all the time. I want an Awesome Award.