Sunday, February 10, 2008

I want to go to Bruges

God damn.

I just went to see In Bruges.

Well, duh, Emily, you may be saying to yourself. Of course you went to see In Bruges. Anyone who's read this blog for five minutes could have told me I'd go see In Bruges. Comedy, absurdity, a strong focus on snappy dialogue, a wise-cracking dwarf, lots of guns and violence with a dramatic twist - that's kind of what I live for.

Plus, Colin Farell being hot AND vulnerable.

So I went to see it. It's not like I had a choice. It would be against all my principles to not see this film.

And now I'm kind of wishing I hadn't.

Not because it's a bad film because whoa, nelly is it not a bad film.

No, I'm slightly regretting my decision because this film was so fucking good that I now feel totally inadequate.

I feel like the cute guy who always felt well endowed until he was invited to the barbecue for porn stars.

Halfway through the film when I was guffawing uncontrollably I started to realize how goddamn good it was. By the end when I was weeping silently in my chair I realized how much Zombie Script sucks.

Then I had to remind myself to stop being so hard on myself because I'm still only on the first draft. Myself.

I have to do more character development. I want my script to be as good as that. Yes, my zombie script. Zombie scripts can be good. Suck it, haters.

I now want to be Martin McDonagh when I grow up.


  1. Emily, if they ever make a wind-up toy based on you, and your personallity -- can I have one? And if yes, would that come a disclaimer and possible instructions?

    - E.C. Henry from Bonney Lake, WA

  2. That sounds perverted.

    I want such a toy. I would take it everywhere.

  3. Man, I want to see this movie. I've seen a short film by the same director and it was incredible.

  4. Yeah he won the freaking Academy Award for that film and it was his first.

  5. Are we both talking about Six Shooter with Ray Winstone?
    It was great. I need to see this movie, even if it makes me feel shitty about my own scripts. I can take it.

  6. Yeah that's the one. It won the Oscar for best short.

  7. Didn't know that. It was well deserved.

  8. I worship at the altar of several zombie movies, so you don't have to convince me. With zero expectations going into In Bruges, I was stunned by how much I loved it. Don't feel inadequate because of it. Let it inspire you.

    And once again, let me say: Wasn't it so damn good?

  9. If you want to feel better, read the original script of The Last Boy Scout or $3000 (which later became PRETTY WOMAN). Both sucked much more than what made it to the final draft.

    MOST first drafts have some suckitude to them, that's why we don't submit first drafts on spec.

    Cheer up, finish your first draft, then you can work on polishing. I've got some I've been polishing more than a year, and they still need work. Sometimes it comes easy, mostly it takes alot of work and time.

    Hell, look at the time between Martin McDonagh's Six Shooter and In Bruges so It probably took him TWO YEARS to get his script that good, and no doubt some outside input.

  10. "Hell, look at the time between Martin McDonagh's Six Shooter and In Bruges so It probably took him TWO YEARS to get his script that good, and no doubt some outside input."

    Actually, Hugo -- not to stick the knife in further -- but McDonagh spent his down time writing plays that won Tonys, went to Broadway, and stuff like that.

    And he won the 2006 Academy Award for "Six Shooter," so it didn't take him that long to follow up with a feature.

    Emily, would it make you feel better to compile a list of all the crappy scripts that were made into films? For every McDonagh (or Gilroy or Kaufman) masterpiece, there are roughly 1,000 stinkers.

    (Snark Alert: should we also compile a list of the recent crappy, overhyped films that are nominated for Best Original Screenplay this year?)

  11. I refuse to subscribe to the crap+one theory!

    No, I'll just have to make my stuff that awesome.

    Back to work...


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