How I got fat and lazy

I watch a lot of TV. I was gone ten days and in that time my DVR almost filled up. Now granted, I had like eight movies saved on there already - some for a year or longer - that in theory I wanted to see. In reality I usually felt more like watching Independence Day for the twentieth time instead of seeing what all the fuss was about Boys Don't Cry.

Anyway I've got a lot of shows to watch and at the moment the SAT company has run out of essays to grade so I have a crapload of time to sit on my couch, cherrypicking the shows I wanted to watch. For most shows I have two episodes so I can do a mini marathon of each.

Strangely enough I went straight to the reality shows because you don't have to concentrate on those. So I'm all caught up on Project Runway and America's Next Top Model and The Ultimate Fighter.

Isn't that glorious? Being able to say I watch Top Model and Ultimate Fighter and enjoy them both equally? They're both about body obsessed drama queens who drink too much and talk shit about each other. For the record, somebody needs to humiliate Junie in the ring. Junie is a fighter, not a model.

But the reality shows went first because they take very little concentration. Chances are good that if you walk away to figure out what that crash was in the bedroom you'll be able to come back and not have missed anything except a good bitch slap. The shows with actual developed plots take more focus.

I guess I like to save the best for last. Since I generally liked the pilot to Life on Mars but I haven't developed a true love for it yet I watched that next. Then Stargate Atlantis because, quite honestly I don't feel like that show has ever lived up to its potential but I still like it. Then the Law and Orders because they're usually pretty easy to follow. Ice T watched some dude get crushed to death by a garbage truck because he was unable to get the attention of the guy listening to headphones while he was operating the compactor. I kept trying to call Ice T's attention to the gun he was holding that he could have used to shoot the ground next to the trash guy and get his attention so he could save that one dude's life. You probably have no idea what I'm talking about unless you watched it, but I'm still glad to get that off my chest.

So anyway I guess I like to get the unimportant stuff out of the way first. My favorites - Supernatural, Pushing Daisies, Life, Heroes - those I save for night time when I can completely focus on the story. This process has taught me a lot about which shows I love the most. I'm pretty sure Supernatural will go dead last.

Except Man vs Wild and The Shield.

I like to save Man vs Wild episodes to watch while I'm cooking or cleaning or doing something around the house because I can mostly listen to that show and not have to watch it carefully. I've learned a lot about how to cook and eat a big larva.

I haven't watched a single episode of The Shield this season but I've saved them all. When the season ends I will go back and have a marathon. I did the same thing with the last season of The Riches. I think FX shows are just so intense that you need to be in a certain mood to watch them, and once you get started you want to go all the way through. So I don't watch one unless I can watch them all.

But in the meantime, House is up next.