My Halloween costume

I love Halloween. How could you not? You get to dress up and be somebody else for a whole night. It's the only night in the year when you can get away with dressing like a complete whore and not sustain any weird looks. Guys can feel good wearing dresses.

For me, I always try to go as a fictional character I admire. Well, in the past I did. I've been Buffy three times and a Jedi twice. I was Trinity once too.

Two years ago I was trying to be the Heroes cheerleader but I waited too late and at the last minute I couldn't find the right costume so I ended up buying an outfit from Frederick's and going as a Poodle Skirt Girl. It was lame. It also broke my Halloween Costume Rules - make it comfortable, make sure it has pockets, and make sure it's something you'll disassemble and wear again in a practical setting.

Last year I went as a boxer. That was pretty cool. A lot of drunk guys in WeHo tried to fight me. I think I really hit one of them pretty hard by accident. Throughout the night I sort of developed this smiley pose and tapped people who tried to box with me. It went with my rules because it was super comfortable and I had pockets. And I didn't have to buy anything new, although I did use it as an excuse to buy a new sports bra. It's blue.

This year I was supposed to go as a prison guard and Beefcake was to be my prisoner. But he got all rulesy on me about buying an inmate costume that he'd never wear again.

So the other night I was sitting there looking at his muscular ass, trying to figure out what he could be. Gladiator? No, he refuses to wear a skirt. Hulk? He ain't painting his skin green. Conan? I forget why Conan was unacceptable.

Then I said - hey how about the Terminator?

And then I was all OMG! I can be Sarah Connor!

Costume perfection.

So we're going to be T2 tomorrow night. I bought some BDUs at California Surplus Mart, where the clerk told me he thinks they bought Sarah Connor's costume there for the movie. He also said they buy stuff for the Night Rider show there. I can see why. If you're looking for costume stuff for a military film that place has everything.

Anyway, I bought my uber comfortable pants and tomorrow night I will be Sarah Connor. Movie Sarah Connor, not TV Sarah Connor.

I love being a badass fictional woman. There's just something fun about putting on a persona for the night and working it while you consume many beers. I think Sarah's a hard drinker. And if anybody tries to get out of line the Terminator and I can bust out some moves. I learned a new throw a few weeks ago and I'm dying to try it.

What are you for Halloween?