Wednesday, August 18, 2010

This happens every time

I finished the script today! Yay! Glass of wine and Top Chef to celebrate. The last thing I did was one final read through to check for errors and unnecessary words, and I realize that I have a character named Old Bored Security Guard and a character named Security Guard, and that Old Bored Security Guard ends up having so many lines that he really should have a name.

I wish I'd made this decision before I typed out Old Bored Security Guard a bunch of times.

Anyway, I draw a name out of a hat - Johan - and do the old name switch.

I have been through this before, so the next step is to go through all of his scenes making sure his name got switched in every instance. Check.

Everything looks good, it's funny, it's fun, it's clean. Wrote an email to my manager and sent that puppy right over.

Naturally, that's when I realized two things: 1) I now have a character named Johan and a character named Joe. I'm sure THAT'S not confusing at all.

And 2) I forgot to introduce Johan. When you have a character named Old Bored Security Guard, you don't have to bother with description because his name is his description. So where my script used to say "It's a typical lobby, complete with OLD BORED SECURITY GUARD," it now says "It's a typical lobby, complete with JOHAN."

What the fuck is a Johan?

After kicking myself, I changed his name to Reginald and sent the Manager a new version where I introduced the guy.


  1. Thank you. I now don't feel alone in my writer insanity. :)

  2. Thank you Emily, that genuinely made me laugh (out loud, in fact).

  3. lol. Still, congrats on finishing the script! there's no greater feeling than that.

  4. That's hilarious.

    I did something similar in a script I just finished. I changed someone's name, but missed one of their lines that was in dual dialogue.

    It makes me giggle to think of a character that essentially doesn't exist just popping in to say that one line of dialogue, and then disappearing, never to be heard from again.

  5. Anonymous1:49 PM

    I think the name Reginald is a great choice. How about Reginald Veljohnson to play the role? He's close to 60, played a cop on Family Matters and was Sgt. Al Powell in the Die Hard movies... Don't most retired police officers supplement their income with security guard jobs anyway? Hey, I'm just saying!

    -Mr. Penn State


    The name itself makes me want to love the guy.

  7. Thank you on behalf of my brother Johan.

  8. I think the name Reginald SAYS "Old Bored Security Guard" - you won't need to introduce it. :)

    RIP "Johan"


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