Saturday, July 07, 2007

Is this what you were looking for? Part two

It's time for another installment of the bizarre search terms people use to find me. Here are my favorites:

i don't like white people. i hate rednecks. you people are rednecks, which means i'm enjoying this shit

For the record, there is a big difference between a white person and a redneck. Rednecks are called "rednecks" because they spend all day out in the sun on the farm and they get suburned on the back of their necks. But that's really a misnomer because not all farm workers are rednecks. And all white people get sunburned if they hang out outside. Okay, so maybe all white people are rednecks. But that's no reason to hate, buddy.

white lady comes into the ghetto and teaches writing

Yes, yes I did. But if you made a movie out of my experience it would be really boring, although you could always jazz it up with a new song from Coolio.

i got pain inside my brain because i drank martell alcohol

Stop fucking people up, Bill.

wet white assholes

So is this a reference to aforementioned rednecks covered in water or are you just looking for porn?

dvd studio pro chapter markers skip back to the main menu too early

It's called a bootleg, honey. Stop buying your DVDs from that skeezy guy who hangs out in front of the taco stand.

how to loose virginity pictures

That word is spelled with one "O" dude. Were you looking for some kind of diagram?

I've been getting a lot of people looking for information on how to lose their virginity. First of all, why are you in such an infernal hurry? Unless you're like 35 and still live with your mom, in which case step one to losing your virginity is moving out of your mom's house. But seriously, watch some porn to learn the basics and then go get naked. The rest you learn as you go. And wear a condom.

explode koala

That's funny. And kind of evil. And it reminds me to reestablish that people shouldn't eat pandas.

the movie markers that cut down and people say marker what are they called

Clapboards, right? Did I win the prize?

animation humorous alien sings i can survive

I wish I had this YouTube video. It sounds awesome.

i am the other woman but he doesn't have to keep reminding me

Oh honey, get out. Get out now.

napoleon bonaparte - all women are bitches except my mother

So the greatest warrior in French history was a mama's boy. Interesting.

teacher ambushed and fucked by five students

Ummmmmmmmmm.................... no?


  1. There are a lot of crazy people out there!

  2. I love these.

    Very nice.

  3. The first one is of course an Eddie Murphy line from 48 HOURS ("There's a new sheriff in town, ande his name... is Reggie Hammond. Y'all be cool.")

    Dunno why that leads to you, but still...

  4. Oh yeah. I forgot about that Eddie Murphy line. That's a funny scene too.


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