Wednesday, July 18, 2007

This is what happens when you talk back


INT. KICKBOXING ROOM - DAY

TRAINER holds a pad up to the side of his face.

EMILY clasps the side of his head with her left hand and sends a sharp elbow flying at the pad. It connects.

TRAINER
Hit harder! Really put your body behind it!

Emily really lets it go and pounds her elbow into the pad where it slides off and clocks Trainer right in the cheekbone.

Trainer clasps his face and stumbles back. Emily cackles.

EMILY
When you left I was the student. Now I am the master.

TRAINER
Only a master of evil, Emily.

Trainer reaches his hand into the equipment box behind him and pulls out a light saber. He turns it on and squares off against the enemy.

Emily smirks, reaching into her wasteband for her own laser sword.

EMILY
Oh it's on, bitch.

They fall to, lightsabers flying. Other trainers scramble for cover as the pair locks in an epic battle for Kickboxing room supremacy.


Oh, wait. It didn't actually go like that.


INT. KICKBOXING ROOM - DAY

TRAINER holds a pad up to the side of his face.

EMILY clasps the side of his head with her left hand and sends a sharp elbow flying at the pad. It connects.

TRAINER
Hit harder! Really put your body behind it!

Emily really lets it go and pounds her elbow into the pad where it slides off and clocks Trainer right in the cheekbone.

EMILY
Oh my god oh my god oh my god!

She holds her gloves up to hide her guilty face, protecting it much better than she ever did when she was sparring.

Trainer looks around at the other trainers who are watching.

TRAINER
It's ok.

EMILY
I'm so sorry!

TRAINER
It's okay.

Trainer glances at the mirror.

TRAINER
Let's go again.

Emily hesitates. Will she do it again?

She does it again.

EMILY
Oh my god! I'm so sorry!

TRAINER
(rubbing his cheek)
You're obviously worried about this. We should stop.
(pause)
Can you see it?

Emily looks at the red welt forming on the side of his high cheekbone.

EMILY
Kind of.

Trainer glances once more into the mirror.

TRAINER
It's okay. I'll tell my girlfriend I got jumped.

4 comments:

  1. Hee hee hee hee hee! I've had a few such moments in the dojo... Walk softly and carry a longer lightsaber!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think truth is more entertaining than fiction here! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  3. You forgot to mention the color of your lightsabers.

    Other than that it's a good way to start a script and move on. It hooks the audience because, especially women, can connect with you... and men find your teacher cool.

    ReplyDelete
  4. addition: (this is how it must be done)
    in just one page you have very specific character description. Very clear and we feel already as if we know them(you). Good work!

    ReplyDelete

Please leave a name, even if it's a fake name. And try not to be an asshole.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.