Ron Glass works out at my gym.
Ron Glass played Shepherd Book on Firefly. I love Firefly. I have seen it on DVD many many times. I have a poster of the follow-up film Serenity framed on the wall in my bedroom. I know all the words to "The Hero of Canton" and have participated in a group singalong at the commencement of a promotional event for Serenity at Universal before the film came out. I have two T-Shirts.
So you see, I'm kind of awesome for not shrieking with delight every time I see Ron Glass. Kind of like the two times I met Amber Benson and had a full conversation with her and then met and Adam Busch and the one time I met Danny Strong but I did not scream OMG I love Buffy! at the top of my lungs. It's the reason my dates can't figure out whether or not I like them. I'm very good at pretending I'm not into you.
Oh, and just in case there's ever any doubt, unless you can beat people up and fix things, I'm probably not into you.
Anyway, I don't see Ron Glass at the gym much, especially now that I live in a neighborhood where I can run around in the beautiful weather and not be cooped up in a smelly old gym full of long-haired, greasy dudes who stare at you and drool a little while flexing their muscles in the mirror.
Anyway, Ron Glass is tall. And in excellent shape. And kind of hot for an old man.
When I spotted him I smiled because Hey! It's Shepherd Book! and I think he took that to mean I was hot for his bones because after that he kept checking me out.
That always makes me freak out a little so every time after that when he looked at me I'm pretty sure I put up my usual Go away glare.
Because that's how I handle that kind of situation.
So Ron Glass, if you occasionally Google your own name just to see who's blogging about you these days, know that I wasn't staring at you because I was hot for your body, although your body is looking pretty hot these days. I was staring at you because I'm hot for your talent. And I wasn't glaring at you because I was annoyed that you were checking me out, it was just a defensive gym reflex.
Bahaha. Regarding google, you better hope none of your highschool students type in your name. :P
ReplyDeleteI've taken steps to make sure that never happens.
ReplyDeleteAh, so you take the whole "computers are evil, children! And google is the DEVIL!" approach to teaching? Clever.
ReplyDeleteNo, no, nothing like that.
ReplyDeleteIt's just if I told you how I've managed to avoid detection I risk being detected. But don't worry, I'm pretty safe.
I've underestimated you.
ReplyDeleteShe's been using code names all this time. Hereabouts she's known as mild-mannered "Emily Blake."
ReplyDeleteBut he class knows her as chalk-swinging "MIZ Emily Blake."
Such clever defenses no slacker teen mortal can hope to penetrate.
Meanwhile, my own personal defense methodology is rather different yet no less brilliant: I labor ceaselessly to remain to boring and irrelevant that no one anywhere would ever want to google me, and if they did, they'd then find that there was even less of interest there than in the moronic post or comment which somehow spurred them to pointless action in the first place.
That, and I wear prop glasses when I go out in public. I am thus rendered inconsequential.
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double-naught B
Scene: INT of apartment. Our Heroine, EB has come back from the gym with RON (male, mid 50's, African-American) The room is sparse, with standard couch, TV, and collection of movies.
ReplyDeleteEB: That was a hell of a workout. Ron, can I get you something to drink?
R: Water would be wonderful.
EB: (raises eyebrow) Is that all you want?
R: Sure......for now.
EB gives him a wink and walks offstage Right to the kitchen. Ron sits on the couch and looks around.
EB enters from SR, and walks to Ron. She hands him a plastic cup.
EB: Please, make yourself confortable. If you don't mind, I'm going to freshen up.
Ron takes the cup and watches as EB walks Stage Left to the bedroom. Age difference or not, he's still going to check her out.
He then scans the room. He notices the large collection of movies and TV shows. There is one movie there that he can quite make out. He starts to get up to see it when Our HEROINE, returns to the stage. She has changed from her workout clothes to a simple plastic yellow rain coat. It is short enough to show ample leg. She sits next to Ron.
EB: You know, when I saw you at the gym, I was very excited.
R: And why is that?
EB: Well, I have been a big fan of yours for such a long time.
She moves closer to him, her eyes fixed on his. He, on the other hand has fixated on her legs. Just as she wanted. She moves her hand to her right pocket.
R: Well, I am very flattered that such a beautiful young woman would be a fan of mine.
EB moves in closer.
EB: (almost a wisper) I was wondering if I could ask you something...
Ron(looking up to meet her gaze): Anything.
EB: (quickly) In the episode of "Safe" , when you gave your Ident card to the Alliance officer, why did he give you medical assestance? Did you used to work the Alliance?
R:(caught off guard) Whaa...What? I don't...
EB:(Pulling the knife from her right pocket and thrusting it repeately in to R) I need to know! I have to know!
Ron tries to scramble off the couch, but slips. He falls face down, looking straight at the DVD set of Firefly as our Heroine jumps on him and stabs him repeately. Ron's vision grows blurry, then black.
SCENE