Today was teacher appreciation day. There was food. I was appreciated.
I had another zombie nightmare last night. I'm not even working on Not Dead Yet anymore, but I like it so much that some nights as I'm going to sleep I replay scenes in my head and smile at the awesomeness of smashing a zombie's head in with a hammer.
Sometimes I still use "Zombies" as a zen word. Whenever I get all worked up and bent out of shape I say "zombies" and I feel happy because I love writing about zombies.
And that means sometimes as I drift off to sleep I dream about them. And last night they responded by scaring the shit out of me.
I was at a pitch meeting at Universal when this little girl came in all zombiefied so I cut the meeting short even though I hadn't finished my pitch and called 911. A dude answered.
911: Where are you?
Me: WeHo (In my dream, Universal is located in WeHo. Because it needs to be gayer, I guess.)
911: It's spreading.
Me: Really? That's not good. What should I do?
911: What is it?
Me: It's a little girl.
911: You're going to have to kill her and board up the windows.
At this point the little girl zombie is aimlessly wandering around the office carrying a teddy bear and not really biting at anybody.
Me: Okay. Thanks.
911: Don't die. It was nice talking to you.
Me: Yeah I hope you live too.
Then I hung up and opened a door where some supplies were located but a guy who a minute ago was just a dude, smashed the door open fast right into my face and he was a zombie. I tried to shut the door on him, then I screamed for Ex-Boyfriend who turned out to be standing across the room with an ax. So he came over and we killed the zombie and then started to board up the windows so we could protect the Universal executives, who were sitting around calmly watching as the little girl zombie continued to wander around with her teddy bear.
And then I woke up.
And sometimes I should probably stop thinking about zombies.
That dream made a lot more sense than any of my dreams do.
ReplyDeleteMine would be like this:
A nice sunny day in Hollywood, pitching a movie. Zombie girl walks in. I use my cell phone to call 911.
911: Hello, where are you?
Me: Um, West Hollywood I think.
911: K
Then the phone dissappears, as do the people in the meeting. I've somehow ended up in my house. The girl would be chasing me as I run into my bedroom. Of course, my bedroom transforms into my old house's bedroom instead of my current one. Then I'd open my window and jump out, and it'd be nighttime.
When I jump out of the window, I end up falling out of a building in the city. I run along the building's walls as I shoot fireballs from my hands at flying zombies.
Then I land on the street and kung-fu the rest of the zombies. When they're all dead-er, a big flying head of death appears and I run into a nearby building.
It's a strip joint. Zombie girl is there, but now she's hotter and of legal age. We get horizontal.
And then I wake up.
I have no idea if it's been done before (haven't seen a lot of classics as far as zombie films go), but that image of the zombie girl walking around with her teddy bear is fantastic.
ReplyDeleteAre you kidding me? The freaky little girl is a trademark horror film character.
ReplyDeleteWhile I haven't seen any zombie girls with teddybears, I'd think it'd be impossible as zombies are ruthless brain-eating machines.
If there ever was a little zombie girl with a teddybear, she would be feasting on her teddy bear's fluffy brain.
Well of course the creepy little girl is in horror, if anything she's overused. (The Ring, The Grudge etc etc)
ReplyDeleteBut a not-so-creepy zombie girl wandering around with a teddy bear is a bit different. Just because every other zombie movie has zombies that eat brains doesn't mean a new one has to follow the same thing.
Ginger Snaps breaks almost every werewolf convention there is and it's one of the best reviewed werewolf films of all time.