Faint praise

Yesterday after the rally my sexy Kathleen Turner voice turned into Marge Simpson and then disappeared altogether. Since I'm still coughing and sneezing and the idea of trying to communicate to a bunch of rowdy teenagers without the assistance of speech seems to daunting right now I took another sick day today.

I feel guilty sleeping in. I have to keep reminding myself that that's what sick days are supposed to be for.

I just wish I could get some damn exercise because my inability to run or box is starting to have a negative impact on my waistline.

Anyway, the other day this Desperate Guy posted something on Wordplayer that I thought was interesting. It was an ad, essentially, trying to drum up interest in his script. It was promptly deleted by the wise Moderator, but not before I had a chance to copy it.

Desperate Guy claims to be involved in some kind of lawsuit that's nice and vaguely described. In the process he explains how awesome his script is. He swears any day now his film will be casting and has had incredible responses from people on his website. Also he's "very popular on myspace even after getting banned several times."

Here is his synopsis:

LAME SCRIPT
SYNOPSIS

LAME SCRIPT the film combines a supernatural thriller with true love, and is based on a book called, "Something Boring" by Desperate Guy.

Imagine a love so true that even death cannot defeat it; a young woman victimized and her rapist mysteriously killed, her parents disbelieving the truth, for that truth is as haunting as the spirit that lingers in the home they live in. This supernatural thriller combines love and life beyond that of this life!

Negotiations with financiers are being completed and LAME SCRIPT is preparing to cast for this thrilling movie! Announcements for auditions for both major and minor roles will be posted.

And here are some of the emails people everywhere have been sending him about his amazing, wonderful and in all other ways perfect film:

Dear Desperate Guy, Reading LAME SCRIPT the script, I'm enthralled in the love story of William and Cass with its gripping descriptive and the reality based scenes you have created. In Act 1, I'm frozen in horror. In Act 2, I'm in a conundrum of plotting to kill or forgive Eric for his butchery. In Act 3, my eyes are red from crying when William and Cass reunite that I found such elation I've yet to have in my life. I couldn't believe that a script could lift me up so high and inspire me to believe that I someday can meet a man like William. This is my excuse to write to you. I have a question I wanted to ask Desperate Guy. If you're truly him, please tell me that you're in-love when you wrote LAME SCRIPT the script. It's wonderfully detail from a woman's insight and perspective, not a man. This script is better than Spark's, Notebook. I know people in the industry and I will help get this on the screen because the audiences worldwide need to experience the romance of William and Cass in LAME SCRIPT the script. Thank you. Thank you very much from a woman that found her heart reading your story. Michelle.

Hi Desperate Guy,

I'm so interested in playing JOSEPHINE MASTER I can't wait to audition?
Please keep me posted when casting begins. I also can't wait to read SOME OTHER LAME SCRIPT...I believe the character you mentioned me playing last
night was "Venus Jenkins" a rap star with an "untimely death"...I've
definitely rapped in the past and can still do it today given the
chance..please let me know when casting begins for this as well.

I'm an actress who is looking to be a part of something great, and
something with substance...the characters in your script/movie have
that.

Let's make history together and bring this to the big screen.

Thanks

Tanya Thompson

Hi Desperate Guy,

Hope this isn't a question that you're tired of but how do I become a character in your movies? Do you do lots of audition? I'm fresh out of college and don't know what I want to do in life. I starred in an indie before but it was stopped due to lack of funds. It was a fun experience and I'm thinking of trying again. What do you think?

Jasmine Nguyen

Thanks for letting me see the coverage on LAME SCRIPT. Whoever wrote it is a total idiot. The plot is great and believable. The dialogues are romantic and realistic. The industry is looking for movies that will make them money and LAME SCRIPT will make them money. If this nutcase doesn't see it by the positive reviews of your script, you should get rid of them. Ever since the writer strike started in the entertainment industry, you should hold on the rein for a great ride to success Desperate Guy. I will send it to my people for coverage worthy of the story. You are going to have to make changes but not to the story. Get a great director and you got a vision of gold. Take care, Brad

There's more of course. A script this evidently brilliant has loads of praise.

It's obvious he wrote all this himself, which makes me wonder something. Is he just oblivious? Does he think anyone in the industry is going to take him seriously by reading this? I know a lot of people in Hollywood exaggerate their accomplishments, but what do you tell yourself when you make up coverage like this? How do you not feel like a massive loser?

Let's examine his choices, shall we?

I'm not sure whether to be sad for this guy's desperation or mock him for his stupidity.