Friday, December 07, 2007

High school's next top model

Last night was the second annualesque fashion show at my school. Our school is unique in that we have a teacher dedicated to teaching kids how to design garments and sew them. It's a very popular series of classes and each year the teacher throws a fashion show to showcase the work of the students in the class. Last night we had ours for this year.

I was once again a model. I've lost weight since the last one and I've been working with Trainer on my runway walk (he's a model) so I was feeling pretty good in my pajama pants.

I'll post a picture as soon as I have one.

It's amazing to see what these kids accomplish. Any time some jerk makes a comment about how Latino and black kids from the ghetto are stupid and incapable of success I want to grab them by the skull and push them into that room to see how they managed to take a little piece of fabric and turn it into a wearable outfit in 8 weeks, some of them with no prior knowledge at all.

Most of the kids just show off their work, but the students who really want to go for it design six outfits as part of a collection. Those kids go into competition. The fashion teacher brought in four judges from the fashion industry to decide the winner, who gets some kind of prize and a lot of prestige. This year it was the girl whose boob popped out of her dress on the runway. I'd question the coincidence of that except most of the judges were gay men.

The teachers all modeled in the last group to go. There are over 150 faculty and staff at our school and about a dozen teachers promised to model. Five of use showed up. Those flakey losers didn't know what they were missing.

Since the show started at 7:45 and it was 10:00 by the time we hit the runway, only about fifty people were left in what used to be an audience of over 200. We worked it anyway.

I modeled a pair of pajama pants that matched the shirt a friend of mine modeled. We worked that damn runway. When I got to the end one of the judges said, "Come on, show us something!" so I popped my hip twice like Trainer and I had discussed then turned around and strutted back to the center of the runway to wait for my partner to do the same. When he got back to me I turned around and bumped into two other teachers who were standing immediately behind us waiting. We ended up having to push past them and nearly fell off the runway, so all that cool I'd been working on was kind of blown. But by then all the kids were gone anyway so nobody I knew saw anything.

One of my companions modeled her wedding dress. She gave Fashion Teacher a design concept and a few weeks later there it was, not quite ready for the wedding but good enough for the runway. One of the hooks was broken and the ribbon we were supposed to lace the back with was too short so we had to knot it with another one, so it looked ghetto as hell, but still - the girl got a wedding dress designed for her for the cost of half the materials. My never-worn dress cost $1400.

Then again, Mine doesn't look ghetto in the back, but hers won't either once it's finished. She kept losing beads all night as they slid off their threads.

We had a transvestite model who was some friend of a teacher. He was very pretty and skinny and worked those ridiculous spikey heels like he was born in them. All night the big question was whether or no his boobs were really his boobs. They were not.

I'm really glad I went to Pollo Loco before the show because we were never allowed to eat the food. We also had to change in front of the boys because we were in the gym with absolutely nowhere to hide the whole night. When we asked Fashion Teacher about it she said, "Welcome to the world of fashion." Yes, but this world of fashion includes horny teenage boys.

Speaking of which, one boy who was modeling silk boxers went out there with a boner. He kept his hands over his crotch when he was backstage but when he got out there he just let it go. My modeling partner and I were doubled over in fits of laughter because we are evil.

The Victoria's Secret fashion show this was not, but man did we have fun.


  1. Anonymous9:14 AM

    "Welcome to the world of fashion." Yes, but this world of fashion includes horny teenage boys.



  2. Anonymous5:07 PM

    'I'm very well dressed'
    'You're cleaner obsessed, but you've not impressed the bloke from Go West.'
    'What does he do?'
    'I'll tell you you fool he hides Ribena under his stool.'

  3. Emily, your high school night of fashion is excellent writting fodder. You SHOULD do a take-off from it.

    Your such an adventurous trouper. And you have the coolest stories. The Lewis and Clark expedition could have used a person such as yourself. You'd have TOTALLY shown-up that Sacajawea!

    I know awesome doesn't begin with an "e" but after reading your post, maybe it should.

    - E.C. Henry from Bonney Lake, WA

  4. Thanks for the compliments!


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