Today I took a sick day so I could go to the Indie rally at Paramount. It was supposed to be a fake sick day but it turned into a real sick day when I woke up at 4 am coughing the kind of cough that feels like some tiny creature with sharp nails is clawing its way up your esophagus until I fell back on my pillow making the wimpery noise Wesley makes in The Princess Bride after Count What's-His-Face sucks one year of his life away. I'm really glad I took the sick day.
Just before 11, as I was feeling somewhat better, I took my cane and hobbled up to the studio for the rally. My foot is almost completely healed so the cane is more precautionary now than necessary, but I'm still worried about a relapse and it was a solid style choice. My voice is all scratchy from the coughing so I sound like Kathleen Turner. I should karaoke some Janis Joplin.
Then I wandered around in circles for three hours. It was boring at first. I kept walking next to John August but he was in deep conversation and I didn't want to interrupt to say hi so I never did even though he specifically told us to say hi. I never do what I'm told.
He spoke at the rally, as did Robin Swicord and everybody's favorite Jewish curmudgeon, Harlan Ellison. I was so excited when I saw him in the crowd because he's fucking hilarious, and he didn't disappoint today. He suggests we all try a little more violence toward Nick Counter and his cronies, except that he is in no way advocating violence. Just a suggestion about stomping on his neck until the blood squirts out. Even the local news camera men were laughing.
It's possible I'm in some of that footage since I was standing to the left of the podium. I instinctively hid my Pepsi from sight of the cameras to make sure product placement didn't interfere with the amount of usable footage. How indie of me. I only hope my boss doesn't see it and notice how not at work I was, but it's possible I was obscured from view by the creepy old guy who kept pushing forward with his sign in everybody's face until he was practically licking Ellison's elbow.
Fortunately after the speeches when I had to return to walking in circles I was saved from boredom by British Guy, an aspiring screenwriter finishing up his graduate thesis and trying to figure out how the hell he's going to pay his bills since his visa will only let him work in the film industry. We got along famously seeing as how he is absolutely adorable and has a very appropriate level of facial hair that suggests he only shaves when he has to to remain comfortable. It's my favorite level of facial hair.
At 2 we looked around and realized there were only eight people left walking back and forth so we did that old LA business card exchange and went our separate ways until we meet again.
Now I will eat some soup so I don't wake up in the middle of the night coughing up a piece of my spleen.
Everyone split from Paramount so to catch David Milch speak at the WGA theater, which started at 2:15
ReplyDeleteOkay old cough remedy time.
ReplyDeleteThis assumes that you are not diabetic or allergic to any of the ingredients.
Grandpa's version
Honey - 1 quart
1 lemon
Canada mints (wintermint) - small bag (probably about 4 ounces)
pumpkin seeds - salted
2 qt. pan
Pour honey in pan.
heat the honey till boiling then cut the heat back to less than boiling.
dissolve canada mints in hot water.
Squeeze out juice from lemon and add to water.
Add minty lemon water to honey.
Add pumplin seeds.
keep heat on and reduce to a quart stirring frequently.
strain out pumpkin seeds (they'll float)
Pour into a quart glass bottle with a lid.
Leave on counter to cool.
When cooled to room temp, take a tablespoon every few hours as necessary. It works better than the crap at the pharmacy.
My version:
A quart of honey.
lemon juice or vinegar - (lemon juice tastes better)
I use concentrated juice and just add water or you can squeeze alot of lemons.
you can also use vinegar, but it will smell up an apartment. total amount 1 pint.
pumpkin seeds optional
reduce to 1 quart.
strain if you add seeds.
put fresh mint into the bottom of the quart glass container. pour in mix to cool.
Medicinally same as above.
To keep from parching in summer you can add some to water or tea.
Why it works:
The honey and acid sooth the throat.The pumpkin seed is an antiseptic. The mint is soothing, though it probably has other medicinal qualities in the mix.
Side effects: None (unless you're diabetic or allergic to one of the ingredients)
This recipe is in variants about a thousand years old and was used at one time to keep singers and actors to be able to go on without their throats getting dry and irritable. It also made life tolerable in hot, dry climates. This was known as Sekanjabin(arabic) or Oxymel(european).