Is this all there is?

I've reserved tomorrow for my auditions at the school where I teach. We'll use one classroom for holding, one for the actual audition. I chose 16 girls. Two are out of town but would like to audition when they return if the part is still open, one can't make it during those hours but she's a friend of a friend so she's coming over to my apartment to audition the next day, five have confirmed and the rest, who knows?

I am a very easy going person for the most part. Stuff slides off me like water on a duck's back most of the time, but this film is something in which I'm investing money, time, and lots of energy. I know this is LA and every street is filled with people who've made short films and features over and over, so maybe mine doesn't seem that important. But it's important to me.

Lead Actor told me he puts himself in for dozens of projects each day on Actor's Access and rarely hears back. I ended up with 232 actors submitted and only chose these 16 girls to see. If I were one of them I wouldn't wait. I'd respond immediately to any audition, enthusiastically.

That's how I chose my yearbook staff every year. At least, that's how I chose them at my old school where scheduling actually made sense and was done ahead of time. Anyway, I had students turn in applications and an essay by a certain date. Anyone who didn't turn it in on time or didn't fill in everything including the essay was automatically out of contention because if you can't follow the directions on the application, how can I rely on you to put a book together with minimal supervision?

Part of me is annoyed because it echoes of my past. I have a history of planning parties nobody comes to. I'm not proud of it, but there it is. And this may not be a party but it's just one more occasion where I've put loads of time and energy in and nobody shows.

They better show up to my freaking film shoot or there's gonna be stabbin'.

It's also possible my anxiety is caused by the fact that for the last two days I've spent a remarkable amount of time sitting around reading and waiting for actors to email me. They've probably been doing things like jobs. I've been looking for cat pictures.

Hopefully by the end of today I'll have a few more commitments. As of right now they're spaced so I have an hour between each audition. Super.

Either way it separates the wheat from the chaff. The girls who don't go to auditions end up on the bus back home.