My unintentional tour of the city

I knew when I hit every single stop light on Wilshire that it was going to be one of those days.

I started at 10:30 for Inglewood and ended up in Beverly Hills by accident - you know, the way you do - stuck in traffic with no reasonable way to get back going in the right direction. That kind of day.

I had two purchases to make today: a rug and light blue, sheer fabric to drape from the ceiling. Then I was going to come home and clean the apartment and finish decorating the set.

I thought at first I'd try Michael's and Wal-Mart. Did you know that Michael's doesn't sell fabric? Did you know that Wal-Mart continues to suck ass?

Almost every decision I made today was a bad one. Even my smoothie from the Orange Julius was not very tasty.

I went to Ikea in Burbank. But before I could go to Burbank I had to go halfway to Long Beach. Apparently the freeway system of Los Angeles County doesn't want you going north on the 5, only south. One would think you could just turn around and get back on the freeway going in the other direction, but one would find ones self cruising on the 101 trying to figure out how to get to the 5 north sign two medians over and screaming if one used that logic.

I finally managed to sneak past the secret invisible blockade and find my way to the 5 north where traffic moved like a turtle race for no discernible reason while the other side of the freeway was empty. I had to pee very much the whole time.

I found Ikea. I used their bathroom. I bought a rug. Yay.

Their fabric selection was crap so I called Maggie (thanks, Maggie!) who directed me to the Jo Anne store in Glendale.

And that's how I ended up in Pasadena.

But first I had to go through the turtle race going south while the north side was empty.

Fortunately there is also a Jo Anne in Pasadena, so Maggie and her coworker directed me successfully to that one, where I got all the fabric I needed. Yay.

I had pictured fabric store ladies as nice old grandmotherly types who knew just what you were looking for and were only too happy to help, not middle aged hormonal types who are very annoyed with your complete lack of knowledge about fabrics and measurements and anything resembling craftiness.

But I got my fabric and raced home to get to the gym so I could punch things.

By this time it was 5 pm. That's right. It took me six and a half hours to find 7 yards of fabric and a rug. In Los Angeles.

So no before and after pictures today because there is no after yet. I'm a day behind on my cleaning and moving of furniture. I guess I know what I'll be doing tomorrow.

Next time I'm hiring a decorator.