Don't ever let 'em see you cry

I wrote this to someone earlier today:

Oh I was messed up in the head but out loud I was all like, "No, I'm fine. You can't help it, right? If you don't love me you don't love me. Let me get my stuff and I'll go home."

He was all, "You'll find somebody."

And I was all, "Of course I will. You don't think you're the only man on the planet, do you?"

Then I went home and waded in my salty lake of tears.

And the response I got reminded me of something Jane Espenson once said that I think needs repeating. And for all I remember she may well have gotten it from someone else, but I got it from her so I'll give her the credit.

She said it's a lot sadder to watch someone try not to cry than to watch them pour out buckets of tears with no effort to hold it back.

So true. I was watching Glory the other night and was reminded of how incredible that cast is. There is a scene in that film where Denzel Washington's character stands naked from the waste up while his drill sergeant whips him, but it's obvious from the massive amount of scars down his back that whipping is something he knows well.

As the whip is drawing new lines down his back he stares straight at his commanding officer, played by Matthew Broderick, and refuses to cry out. But after a few hits a his eyes well up and despite his struggle to remain completely defiant tears start to creep down his cheek.

It's heartbreaking.

But when you see people just wail and cry it's usually kind of comical. There's a deeper sadness, I think, when you see the tears of someone who's trying desperately not to let you know how much they're hurting. It's powerful stuff.