Monday, January 14, 2008

Four things that made me happy today

1) I have been watching American Gladiators. It's not as good as the original, but it's still filled with awesome cheesiness. I really want to start up some kind of regular AG watching night where I hang out with some people and we make jokes about the show MST3K style as we watch.

And I totally want to hang out with Titan at a party. I mean, look at him:
2) I started using Aussie shampoo and conditioner last night. My hair feels like a satin rainbow. I was shaking my head in slow motion all day like those sexy women in the commercials and I kept running my fingers through it and going "Look at that shine!" It was really freaking the kids out.

If I were David Letterman I would now hear a knock on my door and open it to find eight boxes of Aussie products in my hallway. Hey, Aussie, I could really use some antifrizz.

3) Today was a dazzlingly beautiful day. I took my kids outside to write haiku. This was my favorite:

Ms. Blake walks around.
Sporting her light blue jacket
And stunner shades

4) In Spanish class tonight my writer brain was in full swing. I'm doing pretty well in there. The other class members called me and my reading partner the class "Stars" which fills me with pride because I always want to be that kid who knows all the answers but doesn't really like to talk about it. My pronunciation rules because I'm surrounded by Spanish all day.

Anyway, as the class was reading through this dialogue where these people were introducing themselves before they went on a field trip together I couldn't help but notice that the plot was just a tad thin. So while we read about Ines being from Mexico I imagined Maite just hauling off and pounding her fist into Ines' face.

Since I know lots of Spanish cusswords I was able to write the story in Spanish in my head. Kinda.


  1. This isn't jealousy, because I wouldn't want to look like Titan if you paid me, but at least some of those guys and gals are on the roids.

    I like the original better in some ways, and in some ways I prefer this one. I think the events, especially the eliminator are better now. But the quick cuts during the action and that God awful announcer almost ruin the show.

  2. Anonymous9:35 PM

    I watched an epi of American Gladiators.

    One of the contestants stopped playing, layed on the floor, and said "Something's wrong, I think it's my leg..."
    Then one of the buff gladiators started shouting "You're a WARRIOR! See, people? This is a WARRIOR!! You're a WARRIOR!!"
    Of course, the contestant didn't get up from his fake leg(?) injury - they just cut to the next competition.

    It's was the women's turn to compete. One of them is a bull-rider and started crying onscreen in her bio, pouting "My momma lives in... in a trailer! *cry* I'm gonna put all of my winning towards her getting a new home. I won't let her live in a trailer any longer! *sob sob*"
    It was embarassingly fake stupidity, so I shut the teevee off.

    I GET cheesiness, but this is not oldschool natural cheese, this is modern-day genetically modified cheese with a bad aftertaste.
    And it's green. Ew!

  3. These are the things I find awesome.

    That was Titan who called that guy a warrior. That was the moment I knew he'd be awesome to party with.

  4. Anonymous11:32 PM

    But it's all so fake and trying so hard.

  5. That's exactly why it's awesome. You're watching roided up actors pretend to be roided up warriors.

    How do you not see the awesome in that?

    You don't take it seriously. You have to watch it like you'd watch a bad movie.

  6. Anonymous8:29 AM

    However, this time around, it feels less cheesy and funny and more stupid. It is "another reality show" when we've already got a hundred dozen out there doing no good to the livlihood of scripted television.

    American Gladiators was cool when cheesy reality stuff was fresh and not the cash cow it is today.

  7. #4 reminded me of a cheesy dialogue we had to memorize in French class in 11th grade. It was so silly that we repeated it over and over, and I still remember it to this day, and say it for no apparent reason.

    Person 1: Parlez vous Francais?
    (Do you speak French?)

    Person 2: Bien sur! J'habite a Montreal!
    (Of course! I live in Montreal!)

    Thank you, thank you. Hold your applause, please.

  8. Anonymous5:01 PM

    Hold your applause, please.

    I tried my hardest, but darn it, I couldn't. ;)

  9. I agree with you Emily, the new gladiators is alot less contact, and more cheesy, and you know it's a fake when you see Hulk Hogan with a mike. I see that some of the old games were kept, some were modified, and there's alot more water involved.

  10. I think one of the reasons so many people are hating on the new one and remembering the old one so fondly is because when we watched the old one we were all like 9.

  11. It's not because we were nine, I certainly wasn't. It's just these days, everything has to be so damn amped up. Just stop with the quick cuts (if they're still doing them) during the competitions. Stop with the lame smack talk. And for the love of God please stop the color commentator. He is terrible. Then it will be as good, or better, than the original.

  12. You guys can hate on the show all you want. I'm still going to watch it and enjoy.

  13. Nobody is saying you shouldn't watch and enjoy it. We're just giving our opinions on it. It's a cheeseball show, but at times can be entertaining.

  14. I know, Matt. Usually when I talk about people hating on something I'm being really melodramatic and sarcastic.

    It's my way. If you're not sure whether or not something I say is serious, it's probably not.

  15. Good to know. Not that I thought you were gonna flip out on us or anything.

    Anyway, as to the new version of the show, I have a crush on Crush. And yeah, I'm aware of the lameness of that sentence.


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