Women be shoppin'

It turns out the reason I had to walk with a cane was because my shoes are practically soulless. The devil is in them. Did you know that you have to replace shoes every now and then? Even if they don't have holes in them?

Trainer ordered me to get new shoes this weekend so I can get my ass back up and running and stop using foot pain as an excuse for avoiding exercise.

I went to the Nike store at the Grove today expecting to pay $70 or $80 for new running shoes that would be an investment in my poor pained feet.

First of all, I discovered that my feet have gone down half a shoe size. How does that happen? I suspect, though, that whatever bizarre genetic freak out my feet are having may also be part of the reason I'm feeling pain when I run. My shoes are too big.

The sales girl handed me the nicest, most cushiony, arch protecting, ankle cradeling, air ventilating pair of shoes on earth to try on first. Bitch.

They were glorious. And perfect. And I felt like I was running on a layer of firm down pillows. Plus, they were blue.

Every other shoe I tried on after that was insignificant because I had fallen in love. Just like that first true love makes every other man you meet a complete let down, I didn't want those crappy second-best shoes I might have loved enough had I only tried them on first. I wanted the good stuff.

How much did this fantastic pair of shoes cost, you might ask? $130.

So I have no money now. Immediately after I bought the shoes I went to the grocery store and invested in lots of sandwich meat and carrots. It's a steady diet of turkey sandwich for the next couple of weeks. I might splurge and have spaghetti on Tuesday.*

I think I'll call the power company and explain to them that I would have paid my electricity bill, but the money is on my beautifully comforted feet. So worth it.

*There is a slight possibility I might be hyperbolating