добро пожаловать, Россия

First of all, hi Russia!

Yesterday I had 134 individual hits, which is on par for a Sunday.

This morning I casually checked my statcounter and bam! 1,423 before noon. Well holy nesting dolls, Batman.

That would be Russia. My post about the picture of the girl who's not me has gone around the block a few times in the old country, probably just like that girl.

Oh! Zinger! You can't expect me not to make that joke.

I've been having a difficult couple of days, so thanks go out to all my Russian fans for saying nice things about me.

I mean, I think they're nice things. Most of them are in Russian.

Babelfish is not much help. It gave me this: "Emily, in you the theme of sisek is not opened, give already reveal!"

Is that a request for nudie pics or emotional revelations?

No on the nudie pics by the way.

In the meantime I'm exhausted. I'm barely holding it together and as soon as the bell rings I'm driving home and collapsing into bed. I couldn't sleep last night because the guys who robbed me have my keys and my address and every ten minutes I thought I heard them unlocking my door. I have a chain on the door. Did I think to use it? No. Just like that time in Ireland when a guy mugged me and I forgot I had pepper spray.

There are cameras all over my building including one on my door so hopefully that will dissuade them. I also think they were just after the money since they ditched my friend's wallet in a driveway. But between my paranoia and my throbbing knee I spent the whole night tossing over. Even my usual thinking about zombies didn't help. That always helps.

Yes, I think about zombies to sleep. Sometimes when I'm anxious I say "zombies!" and that helps me calm down. Because, you know, zombies are soothing.

I need to go to the DMV. I need to file a police report. I need to buy groceries but I have $17 in my account because somebody stole my cell phone and I had to replace it by using this week's grocery money. Food or cell phone? I choose phone. Last night's dinner was an apple and a piece of pecan pie.

Pie!

I subscribe to Maggie's Pie Makes Everything Better theory.

But now I'm out of pie. I think dinner tonight is going to be elbow macaroni and butter.

The kids have all offered me their extra free lunch tickets to help feed me. They're adorable. They were so mad at those guys who robbed me they didn't even complain when I handed them massive literary tomes they have two weeks to read. It probably helps that I also gave them candy canes.